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Dear St. Hedwig Family:
As we celebrate Gaudete Sunday, which means, rejoice, we are reminded that God created us for joy. God is joyful because he is perfect. We too are called to share in the life and happiness of the Lord. Depression and anxiety were not part of God’s plan. They came about because evil and death came into the world through sin. The Father does not want to see his children miserable, but to share in his peace and delight in his goodness. For a long time, I deprived myself of material and sensual pleasures, with the aim at becoming holy. My motive was commendable, but I went too far. I tend to go to extremes. By refraining from the pleasures of life, I ended up unhappy and irritable. And this had a negative impact on my health, relationships, and ministry. I have learned to be more balanced and to allow myself to experience the pleasures of life without feeling inadequate. In my desire for sanctity, I denied my humanity. I lived and worked as if I was super-human, which I am not, and this was not sustainable.
When I was asked, “What is your hobby?” I thought for a long time and could not come up with an answer. I was then asked, “What do you do for fun?” I said I enjoy going for walks, praying, reading, and giving retreats. All the things that I enjoyed doing was “work” related. Even when I went on walks, I would pray or mentally prepare for a homily. With more reflection, I rediscovered that there are many things that I used to enjoy doing but that I had stopped because I thought they were frivolous and not conducive to the building up of the Kingdom of God. Again, I have this tendency towards all-or-nothing thinking. I wanted to give myself completely to the Lord and focus on doing his work, that I didn’t realize that this had negative consequences. I slowly learned that I can be over-zealous and that I needed rest and recreation in order to better serve the Lord and his people.
Are you depriving yourself of the pleasures of life? Your motives may be pure but can be misguided. As in most things, moderation is key. I was on fire for the Lord, but fire alone will consume if not for water to balance, refresh, and renew. The Sacred Heart of Jesus is an inexhaustible fire but also an everlasting wellspring. Water is necessary to temper, balance and sustain. I have learned not to be one dimensional but to embrace all the aspects of my humanity, including the need for fun and the enjoyment of life. God is not glorified in our misery but in our being fully alive, which includes the entire aspects of what it means to be
human. As we prepare for the coming of Jesus at Christmas, who is our ultimate joy, let us not forget the joys that he has given us in his creation. May we partake of the proper joys in life and more effectively bear witness to God’s goodness in the world.
With much love and care,
Fr. Quan Tran
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