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“We who are strong ought to put up with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Each of us must please our neighbor for the good purpose of building up the neighbor.” –– Romans 15:1-2
8Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, 9but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. –– 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Pat yourself on the back. Toot your own horn. Own your accomplishment. Relish your own goodness. Afraid no one will notice, we look for any opening to tout our own virtue or impress upon others our generosity of spirit. Who among us hasn’t used the following words in conversation with a spouse or friend –– “Well, I did my good deed for the day…” You suffered some fool gladly. You dropped some coins in a pauper’s cup. You didn’t ram the car that cut you off. You walked someone’s grandma across the crowded intersection. You resisted grabbing the last slice of pizza. You volunteered to take the middle seat in the back of the sedan. You aided a friend in distress. You didn’t fall asleep during the sermon … Well, aren’t you special! 😇
Seriously, though, our good deeds are often accompanied by the desire that others recognize them. You probably recall the philosopher’s cliched conundrum –– “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound.” In the same way we are vexed by the question –– If a good deed is done in the forest, and no one is around to witness it, do I still get credit for it?
We are drawn to the notion of being seen as the chivalrous knight saving the weak, but such pride tends to feed the myth that we are the strong, the self-made and self-sufficient, thus ignoring the reality that we are no less weak than those we assist. It may just be that our vulnerabilities have not yet been exposed. Generosity is always diminished when mixed with condescension. Thus, Paul confesses: “Whenever I am weak, then I am strong.” We are not stronger than those we would assist; we are just “differently vulnerable;” no less dependent on the graces that flow to us unbidden from sources outside of us. Coming to understand this transforms our neighborliness from condescension into solidarity. Our strength is not our own but a gift from God. The Psalmist declares –– “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.” Thus, we do not bequeath help, we share it, knowing that in our own weakness, we too are reliant on the God infused strength and patience of others.
O Lord, grant to me a spirit of generosity and patience after the manner of your generosity to and patience with me. For any help I offer is but a fraction of your grace to me.
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