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“Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Which of you desires life, and covets many days to enjoy good?
Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry.”
–– Psalm 34:11-15
I read a great quote this week: If you can’t say anything nice, at least have the decency to be vague. Vague seems better than crass which is better than cruel, yet few of us will be numbered among those lauded with the epitaph –– I never heard him say an unkind word about anybody. My first thought when those words are spoken is what a shame it is that the speaker was never able to spend much time with her subject. It is far too easy to be drawn into the circle of misery where criticism and complaint are a constant presence. Eventually, it seems, we are all snagged. How fast we shift from civil to caustic in our observations about those who inhabit our lives. And when our comments invoke laughter or agreement, we double down and strike deeper. Isn’t it telling that when someone says –– “Hey, I’m not saying anything that I wouldn’t say to their face…” –– that someone is certainly not saying it to their face in that moment. There is insulation “behind the back” that seems to license false boldness. The same proves true in the podcast booth or the comments section under the social media post. The door to disparagement is always open, and it seems nigh impossible to resist the siren’s call from within. Kyrie eleison.
Casting aspersions is a sport easily accessed and potentially profitable. Among the highest earners in media are those who have raised insult and invective to Olympian heights. Yet, what is missing when we revel in malice and vitriol? Joy. Casting for laughter or popularity at someone else’s expense is a joyless pursuit. Ironically, when we degrade someone, we are actually degrading ourselves. We objectify them, and at the same time, dehumanize ourselves.
The Psalmist understands this. “Which of you desires life, and covets many days to enjoy good? Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” Joy is the product of valuing others, seeing the face of Christ in your neighbor, mining for commonalities. Two strangers meet on a tour bus in France and could easily remain anonymous, but one simple question (Where are you from?) opens the door to discovery when they realize they share the same hometown in upstate New York. Hours pass as they regale each other with memories, probing to ascertain mutual acquaintances. Laughter. Smiles. Joy. All it takes is one point of connection. We do have many days to enjoy good, but they are not limitless. Let us not waste them with slander, but enjoy them with decency, always searching for the good in what we share in common.
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