Babies aren’t born with mental toughness. So why do some kids display more mental toughness than others? Better yet, how can coaches and parents help young athletes to become more mentally strong? First, let's define mental toughness. According to a Wikipedia overview: "Mental toughness is frequently used to refer to any set of positive mental attributes that help a person to cope with difficult situations. Coaches freely use the term mental toughness to describe the mental state of athletes who persevere through difficult sports circumstances… A number of studies have linked mental toughness to sporting success or achievement.”

According to Craig Sigl, The Mental Toughness Trainer , there are seven attributes mentally tough kids have in common. All seven can be learned and developed in young athletes with the help and guidance of coaches and parents. Sigl’s seven attributes include:

1) Self-Empowerment. They don’t rely on external feedback to feel good about themselves. This helps them not take losses too hard and keeps them from being shaken by the scoreboard.

Coaches and Parents: One way to develop self-empowerment is to teach young athletes how to non-judgmentally self-evaluate. After a practice or game, ask the athlete to identify three things they did well (win or lose), and one thing they would do differently or improve upon the next time they play.

2) Adaptability. They can roll with change and shift on the fly. This is especially important during gameplay situations.

Coaches and Parents: This one can be a lot of fun for both parents & coaches and athletes alike. Encourage young athletes to do things differently. Think of things like throwing and catching with non-dominant hands or playing a different position in practice for a few minutes. The more this can be approached from a “ having fun” perspective the more they will learn adaptability without it feeling like some sort of lesson.

3) Strong Boundaries. Mentally tough kids know when to say no. Pushing past the awkwardness and discomfort of disappointing someone is an important skill.

Coaches and Parents: This is one of the biggest challenges for young athletes, as they all want to fit-in and feel like they’re accepted by their peers. Remind young athletes that sometimes the right choice isn’t the easy choice. Encourage them to fall back on team values, family values, and spiritual values when it comes to making difficult choices.

4) Accountability. Kids with mental strength own up to their mistakes. That act of taking responsibility builds character.

Coaches and Parents: First and foremost, coaches and parents must model accountability by taking responsibility for their own behavior. Second, help young athletes to find the right words to accept responsibility for their behavior without them being overly critical or negative about their own character. Additionally, young athletes need to be accountable for things like taking care of their own equipment. Knowing when practices and games are scheduled and keeping their heads in the game during practice and events themselves.

5) Cheer-Leadership (Celebrating Others’ Successes). Resilient kids celebrate when other kids shine. Not being negative about or fearing the success of others, succeeding gives kids mental space to focus on winning their own race.

Coaches and Parents: When young athletes are just as happy about the success of a teammate as they are about their own success, they demonstrate one of the most important elements of being on a team. More importantly, fearing the success of others or worrying that someone might outshine you creates anxiety that often leads to mistakes and lack of enjoyment from sport. One way to get the process started is to have your young athletes think about and articulate what they admire about individual teammates.

6) Commitment. Kids with mental toughness keep trying even if they’ve failed in the past. They learn lessons from what doesn’t work to apply to the next try.

Coaches and Parents: Remind young athletes that playing sports is a commitment - a commitment to self, family, teammates, and coaches. We’ve all heard the story of Michael Jordan and his failure to make his high school basketball team. Share other stories of successful athletes who have struggled to get where they are today.

7) Persistence. Mentally tough kids are unstoppable. They don’t give up even when they want to because it’s hard. As the saying goes, “Hard work beats talent every time, and hard work plus talent is unbeatable.”

Coaches and Parents: Help young athletes become more persistent. Teach them that it’s important not to give up when things are difficult or seemingly impossible. Also, teach the difference between perfection and giving your best effort all the time.

TrueSport expert Kevin Chapman, PhD, clinical psychologist and founder of The Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, shares five common phrases parents and coaches should strike from their repertoire if they want to build young athletes’ mental toughness:

1. “Don’t be nervous.” 
2. “Don’t feel bad.”
3. “Get out there and win/score a goal, hit a home run, etc.
4. “We’re (or the team is) all depending on you. Don’t let us down.”
5. Anything related to an athlete's body (e.g., “You’re looking lean,” “Looks like you’ve gained a lot of weight.”



As Hall of Fame baseball player and wordsmith Yogi Berra suggests, the mental side of sports can be even more important than the physical; it's by having a strong mental game that we're able to unlock our physical skills. Use the tips above to help your young athlete reach is or her potential.

Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed; for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua 1:9

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