Weekly Notes for Champions

Volume 23, Issue 19 | January 16, 2024

Words That Can Crush Young Athletes

Parents of youth and high school athletes have a pivotal role to play in each child's enjoyment and development. Yet we often misunderstand that role or fail to interpret what young athletes need. First and foremost, parents are called to support our children, offering positive encouragement and demonstrating our unconditional love. While coaches are responsible for developing skills and correcting mistakes, parents should be a young athlete's biggest cheerleader.

With that in mind, what we say matters. The words we use and the way we use them can make the difference in how our child experiences an activity. For some children, such as those with ADHD, certain comments can have a dramatic impact. Licensed counselor and friend of Play Like a Champion Bill Matthews has provided a helpful list for parents and coaches of athletes with ADHD that details common phrases and their negative effects.

The ride home is a critical moment for many young athletes. Too many kids report this is their least favorite part of the sports experience, often because of the way parents respond to practices or games. Sometimes athletes are not ready to talk about a competition immediately following the event. It’s our child's sports journey, so parents should respect this. Play Like a Champion suggests setting up a system with your athlete: If they want to talk about the competition on the ride home, they can climb into the front seat of the car (provided they are old enough to sit in the front safely). If they prefer to not discuss the game at that time, they can climb into the back seat. This simple cue provides your athletes with ownership over their post-game conversation.

If your child does “climb into the front seat” post-game, the mantra “Less Telling… More Asking” is best to follow. Utilize open-ended questions that allow your child to discover how they feel and set goals for future performances. Some suggestions include:

Did you see God present in today's game? How?
What do you think went well in the game? What was the most difficult part of today's game?
What are you most grateful for from today's game?
What was the funniest thing that happened in the game?
What was the nicest thing someone on your team did for you today?
Are you proud of something you did today?
What would you change about the game today? Why?
What new skill did you try/work on today?
What challenged you in today's game?
How would you rate the game today on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?

Which person on your team is your exact opposite? And what do you admire about him/her?
Who would you like to get to know better on your team? How can you reach out to him/her?
What is one thing you did helpful today for your coach or someone on your team?
If one of your teammates could be the coach for the next practice, who would you want it to be?
If you had the chance to be the coach tomorrow, what would you focus on in practice?
What is the main thing you hope to learn/accomplish before the season is over?
If Jesus was sitting next to you on this pre/post-game ride home, what would you visit with him about?

Using these cues can create a positive experience on the ride home and offer the encouragement and support we want to show our young athletes. Consider the tips above and make a plan for the next drive to and from a young athlete's practice or game. Choosing your words carefully might make all the difference.