Modern parenting is not for the faint of heart. It can be, in equal measure, joyous and maddening, loving and confusing, satisfying and terrifying. The stakes - our children - couldn’t be higher, but the expectations placed upon us can feel outrageous. And the constant onslaught of news and information, articles, Facebook posts, Instagram feeds, and experts weighing in can make any of us crazy. I know it can send me into a swirl. In our eyes and our ears at all times are the stories of what can happen
if
.
What can happen
if
your daughter isn’t challenged in school, what can happen
if
she is too challenged and feels too much pressure. What can happen
if
you let your son play too many video games, what can happen
if
he doesn’t get to play video games with his friends. What can happen
if
your child is bored and finds trouble, and what can happen
if
they are overscheduled and never get to breathe. What can happen
if
students are just taught to the test, and what can happen
if
we don’t cover the basics. And as we contend with all of these what ifs, we find ourselves in Los Angeles, an especially pernicious place to raise children, as the pressures of consumerism, wealth, and prestige are norms for us, absorbed through the ether by our kids no matter how hard we may try to shield them.
But in choosing to raise your children at Pressman, you are fighting these norms, these values, and these anxieties. I truly believe that rejecting the framework of “what if parenting” is a fundamentally countercultural act. You are choosing a school that values relationships and people, that protects childhood, and that actively works to decrease anxieties and pressures for children and parents. You are choosing to raise your children in a place where resilience, kindness and self-regulation are not only valued but actively taught. And you are choosing to be a part of a community that is committed to being thoughtful and self reflective, to creating a world that is just and tolerant.
I am incredibly proud of the children we nurture in our school and the young adults we help to raise through the values we instill. Our students and alumni are independent, resilient, knowledgeable, Jewishly versed and rooted. There is a reason that high schools - from Shalhevet to Milken, Crossroads to Hamilton - want more Pressman graduates in their schools. Over
Sukkot
and
Simchat Torah
, I had the opportunity to interact with so many of our alumni and to shep
nachas
. There was the boy who is now a high school senior who stopped on the street while standing amongst his friends to come over and greet me, asking how the school year is going. There was the girl who has been a fixture as a Torah reader on
Simchat Torah,
reading
Torah
each
Simchat Torah
morning for the last five years.
They reminded me that the product of Pressman is exquisite. You’ve heard me say that we graduate
mensches
, and that is absolutely true. You’ve heard me regale you with impressive stats: that 95% of our eighth graders are accepted at their first choice high school, that more students from Pressman qualify for the California Science Fair than from any other non-science magnet school in the county, that our 7th and 8th graders repeatedly place in the top 25 schools in the state for the California Math League, and that our middle school Moot
Beit Din
team won first place last year in all of southern California.
All of these figures are accurate, and they are dazzling, but they are not what I want to explore with you this school year. I want to tell you more about how we teach and grow children. To explain to you why I think the work we do here is countercultural in vital ways. To explore what our values actually are and to distill how we attempt to bring these values to life in the classroom and beyond. To expand upon my vision for our school, and in doing so, to build a community that is grounded in a common purpose.
So on the third Thursday of each month, I am going to write to you, candidly and directly, about the things that are on my mind: homework and reading, my pride in our approach to parenting education, and my struggles in thinking about technology addiction in developing brains. I am eager to delve more deeply into the role community plays in giving our children roots, to discuss why boredom is
really
good for our kids, and to consider how we teach ethics so that our children grow into adults who live their lives honorably.
I’m very excited to have this forum to share ideas, and I want to hear back from you - I’m eager to know your thoughts and wonderings, your musings and your struggles. I do hope you will engage with me in this ongoing conversation.
Let’s get into it, together.
Warmly,
Erica
