Every year, millions of us set  ourselves up for failure by setting  resolutions.   According to  a University of Scranton survey published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 8% of us are successful at keeping them. I started really thinking about that number and decided for myself to change my attitude around a bit. 

According to Webster's Dictionary, a New Year's resolution is "a decision to do or not do something." When I really looked at that, it seemed a bit harsh, so I've decided to look at it entirely differently this year. I'm going to set goals for myself that are softer and gentler, rather than demanding I make a "resolution."

 

According to Wikipedia, a goal is a desired result a person envisions, plans and commits to achieve; a personal desired end-point in some sort of assumed development. I am a big fan of setting and keeping goals. The words of my business professor from college still ring in my ears, "I you fail to plan, you plan to fail." After all, you wouldn't set out on a long road trip without consulting a road map, would you?

There are so many things we may choose to do better: improve our health, exercise more, eat healthier foods, make and save more money, make more friends, spend more quality time with family... the list is endless--and it's all great! Who doesn't want to improve and try to make themselves better? 

This year I'm going to use the Goldilocks approach: not too hard, not too soft, but just right!  Setting your goals too high can lead to a feeling of failure if you can't achieve them. That never feels good, so no wonder many of us just give up! Setting a goal that's not much of a stretch can help assure you will achieve it, but it may leave you with a feeling of dissatisfaction when you look back and realize you could have done better. So instead of setting a goal to lose 20 pounds, I'm going to ask my body to cooperate in helping me trim by five pounds in January, then five pounds in February and so on, until I reach the weight that feels right.

The other issue I've had with resolutions in the past is that they come but once a year! This year, I'm acting like the IRS and dividing the year into quarters. That way, my goals only extends out three months. At that time, I can re-evaluate my progress, increase or decrease my rate of success, and plan anew. By the end of March my life may change dramatically; if so, my goals can too. Sure, there may be an overall goal for the year, but I'm planning on re-assessing in April, July and October, and then seeing what is needed to achieve the overall objective, which may very well be higher than I originally anticipated.

Many of our goals involve actually changing old habits, like eating better or exercising every day. Remember, a habit takes a minimum of  66 days to form a solid bond within our neurons. After 2 ½ months, (another reason I like the "check in every quarter" approach) notice how you are doing. Not up to par? No need to beat up on yourself; simply re-evaluate and choose to try again. Eventually, those neurons will form a firm attachment--as long as you keep trying to achieve your goal and don't give up!

Don't forget to write your goals down. If you're on a long road trip, you keep the map handy, right? So write down your goals and spend some time dreaming about what you want to achieve. This is an investment in your future, and you are worth it! You don't need to stress about how you are going to achieve every goal; in fact, for the big goals, it's better if you don't have a "how"--just dream a bit and feel it coming true.

Tell your goals to family and friends who will be supportive. The buddy system is helpful for not only helping to keep you on track but also to hold your vision, and your buddy may have goals you can hold for them as well. It's a great support system and fun to watch each other's dreams come true.

GRATITUDE! For me this is the most important key of all. A feeling of gratitude--both for where you are now, as well as for where you want to be after your goals are achieved--is amazing. Not only does it help you succeed, but you also just feel better! What I do is spend several hours dreaming and writing down my goals. I try to "FEEL" them as much as possible, as if they were already attained. Then I hold a feeling of blessing and gratitude and sit in the glory of it all. Then every day (but let's be honest, it's probably more like four or five days a week) I remember in my prayers to be in gratitude for all the blessings as if they had already shown up, before they actually manifest.

So to recap: 

• Set firm but attainable goals for yourself in place of rigid do-or-don't resolution rules. 
• Revisit your goals every three months throughout the year (and mark your calendar).
• Stay with it to make it a habit. 
• Write your goals down and tell a friend. 
• Remember gratitude!

The prayer for all of you from all of us at Partners In Health Care, Naturally is for a happy, safe, healthy and very prosperous 2018. If you all stay healthy, we get to retire!!

Love and blessing throughout the New Year!!

Dr. Susan E. Godman