|During the month of April I am offering an introductory EFT session for readers who are interested in learning EFT -- at a reduced fee.
I am doing this as one way to get this modality out there! If this interests you, email me and mention today's newsletter.
You can choose to work on today's topic of belief change, or stress, or the emotional aspects of an illness, or a current challenge, etc. It is up to you, of course. Take a look at my EFT page on my website for further information.
DO I NEED A LIFE COACH?
| Read these questions, answer honestly, and note your internal reactions. If any of them hit the mark, now may be the right time to engage a Coach.
Do you feel dissatisfied with your life?
Do you ever ask yourself, "Is this all there is?"
Are you filled with wants that are not being expressed or needs that are not being met?
Are you overwhelmed much of the time?
Do you live your day according to your "To Do" list?
Do you feel stuck in certain areas of your life?
Are you at a possible crossroads in your life? Are you hesitant or afraid?
Are you doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results?
What Beliefs are Getting in your way?
The topic for this newsletter is
. I have hesitated to write about it since this topic is huge. Hundreds of books have been written on beliefs...... and I may even own all of them!!!! But today I decided that I was just going to do it!!!!. Not write a treatise. Just plant a few seeds.*
As a coach, I often ask my clients to begin to pay attention to their beliefs. Why? Well, I notice in our sessions that they have a tightly packed wad of beliefs that are weighing them down, much like a heavy backpack, and that some or many of these beliefs are getting in their way. It is hard to travel through life with such a backpack!
In fact, it can make it virtually impossible to travel (i.e., getting stuck) unless one is willing to unpack and lighten the load.So, I encourage most if not all of my clients to get a small notebook and begin to list, very informally and with no pressure, beliefs that they notice they are carrying around, day after day after day.
Noticing our beliefs, I believe, is a very radical act.
*The resources for this newsletter are so many it is impossible to give adequate credit. But a few of my teachers would include Joe Dispenza and Jeddah Mali, Bruce Lipton.
|What are beliefs? And why is this topic sooooooooo important?
What are beliefs? To me, beliefs are thoughts we keep thinking, so much so that we accept them as "the way life is". No two people hold the exact same set of beliefs. So "the way life is" is different for each individual person.
Let us note that when each baby is born, no bag of beliefs come out of that birth canal, right? Clearly, our beliefs were/are acquired. How? Childhood experiences are a major source and we learn and absorb beliefs from our parents, teachers, other significant people in our life, our culture, society, etc.
Perhaps the most important idea to walk away from today is that most of these acquired beliefs are
subconscious and/or unconscious.
That's impossible, right? Nope. The actual ratio of conscious to unconscious is not known but the most common numbers I have found are 5-10% conscious and 90-95% unconscious or subconscious.
Whatever that ratio is is less important than understanding the following:
our subconscious and unconscious beliefs/thoughts , are often running our life day in and day out, all day long........ Take a look at the iceberg below.
Why is all of this important????
Beliefs are a major window through which each individual filters all the billions of bits of data coming at them each day. And by filter, I mean, vast amounts of data is being ignored, deleted, dismissed, etc. , and the data that is accepted by the body/mind tends to fit within each person's set of beliefs.
So bottom-line is that our beliefs are a major way that we humans organize our experiences of the world and in the world.
They become our reality. So, if you believe that
the cup is half empty, you WILL experience the world as
half-empty. If you think the world is a
dangerous place, you
will experience it that way. If you believe that you
must get all of your work done before you can play, then there will be very little play in your life.
Life will not be playful
To summarize: if your "belief window" is covered up with a significant number of negative/confining/restrictive/limiting beliefs -- that is how you will experience your life and hence how your life will be.
From our beliefs, as we filter information, we then feel emotions, engage in certain behaviors, and indeed make decisions, big and small. So beliefs are vitally important to our life and living a good life, and yet somehow this phenomenon is ignored by..... just about everyone.
Perhaps now is a good time to find and uninstall a few debilitating/negative beliefs from your (Self) computer? Read on.
|Check out this list of beliefs. Which ones do you carry around in your personal life backpack?
The following list of sample beliefs are ones that have shown up in my office over the years. Take a few minutes and notice what you notice as you read them.
By doing this, you are beginning to make conscious that which has been unconscious/subconscious. Congratulate yourself for doing this.
I must be perfect.
Failure is not an option.
Quitting is bad.
Life is hard.
One must work hard in order to succeed.
Dreaming is for children.
I cannot disappoint people.
Don't be needy.
I must have all my ducks in a row before I can ......
Feelings are bad/unacceptable.
One must be careful.
If something good happens, something bad always follows.
Mistakes are bad. I can't be wrong.
At any moment, something terrible could happen.
It's all a matter of luck.
Money is hard to come by.
Women like me can't manage money.
I must be prepared and ready for whatever might come.
I have to do everything myself.
If you can't do it right, don't do it at all.
I must get all my work done before I can play.
No pain, no gain.
I am not good enough.
I should be different.
There is a right way to do things.
Rich people are greedy.
Selfishness is bad. I must think of others first.
I can't be a bother.
My partner should know what I need.
There is too much to do and not enough time.
Conflict is bad.
I can't follow my interests if other people will be upset by it.
Life is serious business.
Did you notice if any of these beliefs seem so true that you cannot believe that they are not true????
Did you notice if any of the above beliefs create a tight, constricted feeling in your chest, stomach or heart?
Did any of the above feelings feel good, expansive, aligned, harmonious?
|Now Check out this list of beliefs. Do you wish you could choose a few of these? You Can!
As you read this list of sample beliefs, there may be a few that you wish to try on or even install in your personal computer system (i.e., the Self). Some of these beliefs may have more "agency" or "juice". Some may feel more "expanded", "light" or even more "true" than some of those in the list above.
Mistakes are a natural part of living.
It's okay to relax.
I deserve to be loved and to love.
The Universe supports me.
Life can be easy and fun.
In order to succeed, I should follow that which inspires me.
I came into this world to be me.
I am good enough.
What I love to do is valuable. I am meant to contribute that.
People are willing to help and support me.
I am worthy of all that I desire.
Dreaming is good. It is a natural part of being human.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
I release all control to the Universe/Quantum, where it belongs.
Fun is fun and it is good. There is no age limit on fun.
I am allowed to have what I want.
There is so much goodness in the world and I embrace all the goodness that I have and comes to me.
I have value.
My success will be defined by me -- not others.
I can "not know".
It is possible to be successful and creative at the same time.
Good people exist everywhere.
It is safe for me to feel and love and let go.
Enjoying life is my birthright.
I can experiment; in fact, experimentation is good.
I don't have to be perfect.
|Soooooo now what?
What we believe, is how our life tends to go. If your life is joyous, beautiful, fun, exciting and you can't wait to wake up every morning to see what unfolds, hurrah! But if it is less than what you desire, I urge you to begin to notice your beliefs, and ask yourself which ones you wish to keep in your backpack.
I believe the most important first step is to begin to notice/become aware of some of these heavy, not-useful beliefs, which is the focus of this newsletter. How does one do that? The easiest way is to look at
Is my life working? Am I happy? When do I flip out and stress out? What is not in my life that I want? Why do I engage in certain behaviors even when I don't want to? Why do certain people and events keep showing up in my life? Where is the joy? What dreams have I not pursued even when I (still) want to?
At the same time, there are many tools/techniques for belief change. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is one which I enjoy and use. (
If this interests you, I am offering a special reduced-fee introductory EFT session during the month of April. See block at top of page on the left.)
Please Share This Newsletter
If you found this email useful, let me know know! And please let others know about the newsletter and my work.
Brady Mikusko, MA, MSW, NCC, Personal Life and Wellness Coach
Interested in learning EFT, a powerful stress-reduction technique? Click here
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