Heck if I know, LOL

I am in the thick of some family drama now.

It is painful because it's with someone who means the world to me.

I don't know how to resolve it, but I need to feel my way through.

When we are in the middle of a painful situation or relationship

that is the only real and lasting way I know of to get through it.

We need to clear the emotional energy out of our body and psyche.

It may take days or weeks, or even months.

We may need to set boundaries to take care of ourself.

We might need to seek outside help with a coach or therapist.

We can definitely pray about it, which I've been doing a lot.

But pretending, ignoring, running away or denying the situation will never set us free. In fact, doing this will ensure that the same type of scenario gets set up for us to walk through again... until we get the lesson and the blessing.

This is the design of earth school, karma and our curriculum here.

At the University of Santa Monica, we worked regularly with the phrase:

I am upset because...

We learned that most people focus on the 'because' and want that to change.

We think if only the 'because' would change, we would be happy and free.

But this is not where the gold is.

And it is clearly not where our power lies.

Let's look at some examples:

I'm upset because the traffic is awful.

I'm upset because my boyfriend cheated on me.

I'm upset because Trump is a narcissistic, lying, cruel conman.

Now, all of these things can be true.

The traffic might be awful.

My boyfriend may have cheated on me.

Trump is a narcissistic, lying, cruel conman.

But focusing on trying to change the 'because' limits us.

It keeps us trapped in a cycle of pain and suffering.

Our task is to courageously face and work to heal the 'upset.'

This can be done in a variety of ways, but we must be with and listen to the

part inside that is hurting, and apply our own tender loving to that part.

It is important to let this part have it's voice; allow it to express fully and vulnerably, openly and honestly. It needs to feel safe with us to do this.

You can do this with a good therapist, but you also need to create a safe

space inside of yourself for this part to want to come forward.

If this part feels shamed, criticized, judged or minimized it will not feel safe enough to come out and fully express what it is feeling.

We each have an Inner Guide, also know as our Higher Self that is a safe space for expression. It resides in a space of neutrality and unconditional loving. Or maybe you have a close friend who can hold safe space and be neutral and loving. Someone who will let you fully express without trying to edit, correct or fix you, and without interjecting their own story.

It is essential that this part feels heard, seen, valued and validated in its feelings and experience. Holding space and allowing the feelings and expression is the way through. Sometimes it might take several good cries, or raging it out to get to the deeper hurt and unmet longing.

We can do free-form writing - stream of consciousness writing without stopping or editing - letting it all out and then burning it. We may have to do this daily for weeks to exhaust the emotions and heartache around the situation.

We can work with our projections - such a powerful tool and too much to explain here... maybe I will share about this next month.

But we must feel and express the feelings.

We can then come to a place of compassionate self-forgiveness for the judgements we have placed on ourselves, the other person, and the situation. It's important to note that this forgiveness is for the judgments. Not for the person's behavior, the situation or the relationship. This doesn't mean you need to stay in an unhealthy situation or relationship. It doesn't mean you don't take steps to speak up and take action in situations that are causing harm. The goal in tending to the upset is to release the energetic charge from it, so you can be free and clear to make healthy and supportive choices.

I still have more work to do in my situation.

My heart aches. I am tired. I wish the 'because' would change.

But my freedom is in tending to the part inside that is hurting.



Whatever you are growing through...

Find a safe space and feel all the feelings.

Bring your loving to the place inside that hurts.

Ask for Spirit's assistance, Grace and Light.

Compassionately forgive the judgments.

Go for your freedom!

Tenderly,

Teri Jo

Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. 

The wound is where the light enters you.

~Rumi 

Anger is sadness that has had no where to go for a very long time.

YOUTUBE: How to Heal from Betrayal (8 minutes)

Healing doesn’t have to look magical or pretty. Real healing is hard, exhausting, and draining. Let yourself go through it. Don’t try to paint it as anything other than what it is. Be there for yourself without judgment. 

Volunteering to incarnate here on earth during this time of illusion, corruption, enslavement and mind control, to help liberate humanity, is literally the most gangster thing in the entire universe. You came because you knew you had what it takes. And for that, I love you.

I'm so excited to announce my new six month

private SOUL SHINE Coaching program!

Click on the image to find out more

An Invitation for You...

Book your free Discovery Call here

They asked her,

"What is the key to saving the world?"

She answered,

"You. You are the key. Heal yourself, know yourself, make yourself whole and free. Release all limits so that your love can flow unconditionally for yourself and the world, this will open the heaven of your heart completely

and it will guide you without fail.

~Yung Pueblo, You Are The Answer

Once we let go of the things that don't matter,

we are free to pursue all the things that really do matter.

-Joshua Becker

The ORGANIZED Corner

Confession: I am a creative project and paper hoarder. For organizing, I have tried many systems - files, baskets, bins, cubbies - yet nothing has brought me joy, until now!. I recently got this rainbow drawer thingy and I'm totally digging it!!!

Things are all in one spot and super easy to access. I don't have to open lids, lift baskets, go through piles, or search for files. I just open the draw of the category (also color coded which relaxes the brain) and find what I need!

If you need Decluttering and Organizating support, let's talk.

Email here to book your free Virtual Consultation.

Here's to the bridge-builders, the hand-holders, the light-bringers, those extraordinary souls wrapped in ordinary lives who quietly weave threads of humanity into an inhumane world. They are the unsung heroes in a world at war with itself. They are the whisperers of hope that peace is possible. Look for them in this present darkness. Light your candle with their flame. And then go. Build bridges. Hold hands. Bring light to a dark and desperate world.

Be the hero you are looking for. Peace is possible. It begins with us.

~L.R. Knost

YOUTUBE: Family as Spiritual Opportunity (6 minutes)

Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in the eyes of the Divine. If only they could all see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all the time. There would be no more war, no more hatred, no more cruelty, no more greed…I suppose the big problem would be that we would fall down and worship each other.

~Thomas Merton

Inspirational Soul for August 2025

My Neighbor and Friend, Valentina

Sadly, Valentina passed away suddenly on July 31st at 86 years young.

She came to the USA 10 years ago from Russia. I moved into the apartment next

to her 5 years ago, and it was love at first meeting. She only spoke about 10

English words. Every time we saw each other, we said 'I love you.'

We didn't speak many other words, and that was more than enough. 

Valentina was a tiny, strong, feisty woman who knew what she wanted and wasn't shy to ask for things. She loved her small family fiercely. Her great grandsons, Teddy (8) and Max (13) lived two blocks away and she walked to their house

every day to 'watch' and play with them. She loved being useful! 

She swam at their house daily. She walked everywhere, about 2 miles a day. She walked at 5am in the summer months to avoid 110 degree temperatures. She served coffee at her neighborhood church every Sunday and told me how people loved her coffee, saying 'good good' with a thumbs up.

She loved feeding me and others healthy organic food - pierogi, blini, salads, figs, chicken, salmon. She often insisted on giving me fermented cabbage, saying 'good good' pointing to my belly - meaning it's good for digestion or it will help me lose weight, lol. She told me she poured a bucket of ice cold water over her head every night because it was good for her, making a gesture of muscles with her arms. She was devoted to her garden which spilled out around the complex making our walkway so lush and beautiful. She was the life of the party and could be sneaky at times. She was ornery as can be, and I will miss that the most about her!

I can't believe she is gone. This is such a huge loss for us in our little 9 unit complex and is heartbreaking for me. Valentina was a force of nature. I don't want any other neighbor but my precious and sassy Valentina! RIP my dear friend, and make sure God is eating his veggies up there! 

I love you!

Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being's suffering. Nothing. Not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status.

We have to feel for one another if we're going to survive with dignity.

~Audrey Hepburn

Got clutter? Paper piles? An overflowing inbox? Not enough time?

Call me at 310-907-6846 to book your free consultation

terijowheeler.com

If you're feeling heavy right now, you're not alone. It's painful to witness a leader use cruel language, divide us with policy, and ignore the most basic human needs. When freedom feels fragile and compassion is cast aside, it can feel like the world is unraveling. 

But take heart: this darkness isn't the end. It's the exposure of what must change. What we're living through is a reckoning. And though it's uncomfortable, even heartbreaking, it is also a chance to wake up, to rise, and to remember who we are at our core.

You're not imagining the harm. But don't forget the power that lives in truth, in kindness, in showing up for one another. The more things fall apart, the more space we have to build something better. Stay grounded. Stay human. Stay loud with love. We Rise Together!

Movie Rec: KPop Demon Hunters

If you never heal from what hurt you,

you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. 

~Tamara Kulish

Need Home, Project, Paper or Digital Organizing?

Book your free Consultation today

A Prayer for these Times:

When they hate, I will love.

When they curse, I will bless.

When they hurt, I will heal.

I am a servant of the light. I am not afraid of darkness.

I will carry on with my work as a steward of this Earth and of all her children.

When they divide, I will unite.

When they rage, I will calm.

When they deny, I will affirm.

I will simply be who I am: for that is what Spirit created me to be.

~Bishop Steven Charleston, Native American Elder, Choctaw Nation

Song 4 You: JOY!

My 3 year old said goodnight to all of us tonight,

and then in the dark I heard her little voice say,

"Goodnight myself. I love you.

[pause] | love you too."

Don't let anyone take that from you, little one.

~Jenny Nordbak