July, 2018

On a recent call, I recognized what for me is a striking and simple truth: the more we reflect about life and ask questions about everything, the less likely we are to implicitly follow patriarchal norms. This is true, equally, about gender norms, organizational command-and-control ways of functioning, global governance, or any other aspect of life. It doesn't surprise me that in our educational institutions there is so much focus on memorizing and so much less on the building blocks of critical thinking: asking deep questions and engaging in significant reflection to answer them freshly.
Today, I want to use that lens of questioning and reflecting in looking at the rich, complex, and uncomfortable topic of money. Here is my very incomplete set. What would yours be, in addition?
Why do we work and what's money got to do with it? bsjobs
Here are some questions I gleaned from David Graeber's new book Bullshit Jobs: A Theory: Why would someone who is making a decent wage doing almost nothing get depressed? And why would prisoners prefer to do menial labor rather than sit in their cell watching TV? Why do we believe that money is the main thing we look for in searching for work? What makes purpose so important to us that, without some measure of it, we cannot find basic acceptance for our job, let alone satisfaction? (I cannot recommend this book enough, and this is only a tiny sliver of the many insights and treasures I found there. His short 2013 article will give you enough of a sense of whether you want to read the whole book.)

What needs can money attend to or not? resources
How does money mask our dependence on others for our most basic needs? (You can read a blog post I wrote years ago exploring this here.) How do we implicitly look to money to satisfy emotional and relational needs, like appreciation, dignity, or respect, for which there are no "goods and services" that can act as strategies? How would we ever know how much money would be just right to quantify, say, appreciation? Why do we persist in this habit of making money the ultimate measure? How does money itself contribute to confusion in relation to our needs and to how the world and relationships work? How can we unpack the relationship between money and so many other complex notions that our culture connects it to, such as deserving, fairness, value, and the like? And what's the relationship between these concepts and patriarchal norms?
What would it take to peel off the veil surrounding money and disentangle the question of how much of it we need for our sustainability from attempts to meet emotional and relational needs that can't be met by money? What practices can help us to get fully free so we can ask only for what we need for our sustainability, and use more effective strategies for meeting relational needs? In my recent blog post, Matching Resources to Needs, I describe the "money pile," a process for distributing money that I learned from Dominic Barter, which supports those participating in going some distance in this direction, with very moving results. How can we develop and use such processes within organizations, communities, families, and even societies? What obstacles do we encounter to doing so? What challenges do we need to overcome once we embark on it?
What support do we need to fully embrace the dual commitment to asking for what we know we need, and no more, and to give what we can and are willing to give, and no more? What are the questions we need to ask to get us there? If you are thinking of asking for a raise, for example, would you focus on the amount of your expenses or on the salaries of people doing similar jobs? If you are thinking of contributing to an organization you value, what questions would help you decide, freely and fully, how much to give?
Money at the Fearless Heart moneyatfh
Here are some of the questions we grapple with, regularly, at the Fearless Heart: How do we make what we do ever more accessible and support all of us who work here in having sustainable lives? What has supported so many people - 98 so far - in finding the generosity and capacity to join the Circle of Support? Or the others who choose to contribute on a one-time basis? elizaBeth Simpson, who just joined us to build community and increase resource flow, shares below some of her own thoughts on this matter in a new section called From the Team.
I am excited about the current configuration of our team. I have a sense that, after so many years of reaching for what would be needed to make it truly sustainable to do the work we are doing, all the pieces are in place to move smoothly forward. I am wondering if, perhaps, we are finally ready to embrace the money pile, or something like it, to collectively decide how much money we each receive to sustain our work. I am well aware that the task we have as a team, overall, is immense, and growing, as more and more actions taken by politicians and corporate CEOs continue to exacerbate the already difficult challenges our species is facing. This is all the more reason to feel so grateful for the joy of working together within a team of such high trust and mutual respect and care, and to continue to work to support and foster such collaborations at every scale I can.
in peace and hope,
celebmournP.S. If you want to hear more of what's been happening in the last couple of months, click here for both work and personal celebrations and mournings, including the outstanding first ever NGL retreat in Poland and more.

Image credit:  Top: Question Everything by Jason Taellious on Flickr (cropped), CC by-SA 2.0; 2nd: "Depressed Office Guy Template" from imgflip ; 3rd: Photo by   neonbrand on Unsplash.
By elizaBeth Simpson, Resource Coordinator
A few years ago I was with my band members when one said, "Less is more" and the other said, "but enough is better." I was reminded of this when I read what Miki wrote: "What support do we need to fully embrace the dual commitment to asking for what we know we need, and no more, and to give what we can and are willing to give, and no more?" 
It takes unlearning and a curious sort of discipline when resisting the capitalist habits of scarcity and exploitation, to actually ask for what you need and not more OR less. For far too long (and still, at times) I thought that suffering was a marker that proved I was doing "enough." Only after a deep period of pain did I come to this clear sentiment, which counteracts that corrupted sense of value: "Deprivation is not a virtue." 
When I truly view myself as a member of a community, I deeply know that it isn't "enough" to seek others' well-being at my own expense. Instead, I understand that our well-being needs mine also, in an interplay that requires the connection of aware relationship. Too often deciding to do "self care" is like yo-yo dieting... we give give give, then have crisis and need a break, a time apart. Then we do it again. This cycle strains relationships like harsh pruning strains a plant: it can recover, but requires a lot of effort, when careful choices could have done the same with less exertion. 
As an outgoing introvert who historically tends to give because of my perception of others' need and suffers because of it, I instead envision ways to stay connected but also self connected. I very much value my new team members at BayNVC and Fearless Heart because I see in our growing relationship this possibility. I look forward to this new direction! 
In shared vision,
Free Teleseminarsevents
You are invited to join Miki and others in the next  Fearless Heart Teleseminars. On these calls you can engage in conversation about her latest blog post, " Matching Resources to Needs", earlier posts, or other topics of interest. 

Facing Privilege
Monday, August 13, 5:00 - 6:30pm
The  Facing Privilege Conference Calls are an opportunity for people to engage on the deep questions that arise as we reflect on the topic of privilege. 

Principle-Based Teaching Coaching Calls
Saturday, August 11, 10:30am - noon
The Principle-Based-Teaching calls are designed for people who have been integrating NVC for a while, who are now sharing NVC with others in various forms, and would like to engage with others and with Miki in deepening our collective capacity to bring NVC to the world in this particular way.

For years, Miki has been examining and questioning the assumptions of the global capitalist economic system in which most of us live and discovering and inventing other possibilities. These calls are for all people who want to grapple with all aspects of this economic system both external and internalized. Our hope in holding these calls is to grow our capacity to make choices within our sphere of influence, even if only internally, that challenge the norms of fairness, deserving, merit, economic security, material resources as measuring value, and everything else that is part of the modern economic narrative and structures.  More info and link to free registration

Online at NVC Academy
Responding to the Call of Our Times
Fridays, February 2 - November 30, 2018 
(44 sessions)
Noon - 2:00pm PT
Whether you are an "official" leader or not, this ongoing program will support you in freeing yourself to fully step into leadership in all aspects of your life and work, and play your part in making life work for everyone. This course remains open throughout the year and is easy to enter at any time, as it's not based on a set curriculum. Note: Registration cost is now lowered!   Info and register
Convergent Facilitation: A Path to Efficient, Collaborative Decision Making
Sunday, August 12 - September 23, 2018 
(5 sessions - first session free)
7:30 - 9:30am PT (early so many countries can join live)
The first ever on-line course on Convergent Facilitation!  Info and register

It's Not Just Me: Bringing a Systemic Lens to Individual Healing
December 17, 18, and 20, 2018
10:30am - 12:00pm PT 
Human suffering and challenges often have their source in the social system in which we live. The question is: how can we use this knowledge in ways that support healing? Join Miki for this powerful three-day intensive and find out. Info and register

Mobilizing for Nonviolent Global Liberation
These retreats are designed to create the conditions that would allow all of us who attend to take a next step in our understanding, capacity for interdependent living, practice, service, and contribution to support the possibility of nonviolent global liberation.

Ben Lomond, California, USA
August 23 - 30

In Poland
Save the date
May 6 - 12, 2019
Working for transformation without recreating the past
Workshop for change agents: 
"Imagine a future world in which we all value people and life and participate in the flow of generosity... A world where attending to everyone's needs is the organizing principle." - Miki. If you are inspired by Miki's style of visionary leadership, and want to integrate these principles in your life and community, you are invited to join Miki for this event. 

This workshop combines practices to support embracing nonviolence in thought, word, and deed; methods for making decisions that work for everyone; dialogue skills to bridge differences; tools for understanding and engaging with your own and others' power and privilege; and models for visionary organizations and leadership.

At the Rowe Center in Massachusetts (residential)
Oct 26-28
(under the title Reweaving Our Human Fabric)
This may be Miki's last Working for Transformation event.
Diálogo y colaboración para transformar tu mundo (Dialogue and Collaboration for Tranforming Your World)
Let your Spanish speaking friends know about this upcoming event in Mexico.

July 30 - August 6
Mexico City, Mexico
Collaboration in the Workplace: One Thought, One Conversation, One Meeting at a Time
November 2 and 3
Ithaca, NY
Save the date... details and registration information to come. 
Invitation to Join CNVC's New Future Process
The Implementation Council of the CNVC New Future Process invites you to join the global NVC-O Community to participate in building the future of this community. There are just 3 steps to join.  http://bit.ly/JoinNVCOCommunity . Why join? -Experience the satisfaction and inspiration of a shared Vision, Purpose, and Mission generated by hundreds of us; -Support and shape the continuing evolution of CNVC into our new international organisation NVC-O; - Access resources being developed to find collaborators, students, teachers, project partners, support and resources in your language, and more!  3 steps to join
Other people's events
Events by former students of Miki's who follow a similar path to hers in sharing NVC:

Nonviolent Leadership for Social Justice Retreat: NVC and Race, Ethnicity and Social Class in North America
July 29 - August 5, Moraga, CA
An intensive immersion into the heart of nonviolence and social transformation, calling together a community of committed practitioners working to manifest a nonviolent future.  Info and register

The Parent Peer Leadership Program 
Free preview calls Aug 31, Sept 14, and Oct 5 for the
October 2018 - June 2019 program, Aptos, CA
Founded by Miki's late sister and close collaborator, Inbal, and now led by Inbal's former students Ingrid Bauer and Stephanie Mattei, the PPLP is structured as a long-distance program in order to support participation by lay leaders throughout the world. The components of the program include regularly scheduled video conferences, weekly study suggestions, buddy relationships, and individualized tele-support.  Learn more, register, or sign up for free preview calls here

Nonviolent Transformation through Body and Movement
In Poland, in English
A four-part series, two remaining, one of which is led by a former student of Miki's, exploring how body-based practices can support nonviolent social change in ourselves, in our relationships and in the world.  Info and register
We acknowledge, and want to transcend, the pattern of linking the meeting of needs to money, both in the sense that people who have needs are often required to have money in order to meet them, and people who want to contribute to the meeting of needs are often required to have money to do so. The Circle of Support is an intervention in this habit. It is our baseline of steady support for Miki's role in boldly (and successfully) venturing into a gift economy, with our blessing. It is a joyful leap towards offering this work as a gift to anyone who seeks it, with no "strings attached."

By the end of 2018 we seek to reach our goal of 200 monthly donors, and to have a collective commitment of $6,000 per month, which will cover the financial expense of The Fearless Heart. With gratitude for those who began their commitment in previous years, we have 98 participants contributing $3250 each month. We celebrate that we are more than halfway to our goal!

We offer special thank yous to those who have joined since the last newsletter, adding an additional 8 people and $218 a month towards an economy of care. Our largest monthly financial gift is currently $500, and our smallest is $10. We can't know which is the greater gift. Both are cherished.

Your participation, of any degree, contributes to this vision of shared responsibility and shared meaning. We invite you to listen into your role: If you are inspired to join the Circle, we thank you. If you are you inspired to make a one-time donation, we thank you. If you are inspired to spread the news about this work and why you value it (e.g. forward this email), we thank you. This is our collective work. We are grateful for your part in it.

Note: If you would like to make a donation smaller than $10, please send a check written out to TFH/BayNVC, and sent to BayNVC, PO Box 22872, Oakland, CA 94609.