What to Say Instead of Be Careful

You're in a park, and your child runs up to a huge tree and starts climbing the branches. What's your first reaction? And what are you likely to say?

Is it, "Be careful!"?

If so, you're not alone. As parents, we often say things in the moment with good intentions - such as keeping our kids safe. But how effective and empowering are the parenting phrases we so often use?

This week, we're offering a few ideas to help make your parenting feedback more specific and effective. Rather than issuing a general warning, try calmly asking questions or offering feedback specific to the situation. Or reinforce what you want them to do with an affirmative statement such as, "You're doing a great job holding on carefully." That approach reminds them to focus on being careful in an empowering way.
What to Say Instead of Calm Down

You're rushing to leave in the morning, and your child starts yelling across the house. She can't find her shoes, the zipper is stuck on her jacket, and she's frantic. As her emotions ramp up and the minutes tick by, you can feel yourself getting disregulated and upset as well. Yes, you want her to calm down - but telling her that is unlikely to help at this point.

What can we say and do to help our kids regulate when they're frustrated? Try some of these ideas the next time emotions are running high at your house!
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PLEASE NOTE: Nothing in what you find here should be construed as medical advice pertinent to any individual. As is true with all written materials, you must be the judge of what appears valid and useful for yourself. Please take up any questions you might have regarding the content of this with your psychotherapist or physician.