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November, 2017
Are we humans by nature selfish and aggressive, requiring some form of coercion to keep us from harming and exploiting each other ruthlessly, or are we generous, vulnerable, and tender-hearted, resorting to intense competition, control, and cruelty only because of structural conditions and individual experiences within them?
If you've been following my work, you know where I stand, along with everyone else who's committed themselves to the study and deep practice of Nonviolent Communication. Marshall Rosenberg, the man who developed this practice, often referred to Ruth Benedict's groundbreaking comparative study about what she called "synergic cultures" and used it, along with his extensive experiences all over the world, as the basis for his bold claim that we are hardwired for care and generosity.
The bulk of Benedict's study was not found after her death, only notes from a lecture she gave about it. Her conclusion is unequivocal:
From all comparative material the conclusion that emerges is that societies where nonaggression is conspicuous have social orders in which the individual by the same act and at the same time serves his own advantage and that of the group. ... Nonaggression occurs not because people are unselfish and put social obligations above personal desires but because social arrangements make these two identical.
I am writing this newsletter situated in India, a complex culture in which I experience so much more warmth, care, and surrender to interdependence than in so many other places I've visited, even as capitalism continues to erode the social basis of such communal orientation. I just finished eight days of deep delving into social change, visioning, collaboration, and Convergent Facilitation with a large group of people from India, Sri Lanka, China, Hong Kong, Thailand, and Singapore, along with some European and North-American internationals.
The physical conditions were difficult for many, and the spirits soared. Several times along the way, disconnections arose as we struggled with different approaches about how to address the legacy of colonialism. Each time, we managed to transcend the gaps through deeper layers of honesty and caring for each other.
What made it possible in this context when so often such difficulties break groups apart? Could it be because we were aligning ourselves consciously with the principle of aiming for solutions that work for everyone?
in peace and hope,
Miki
P.S. If you want to hear more of what's been happening in the last couple of months, click
here for both work and personal celebrations and mournings.
Image credit: Ruth Benedict, by World Telegram staff photographer [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
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Questioning Money - New Calls Starting in March!
For years, Miki has been examining and questioning the assumptions of the global capitalist economic system in which most of us live and discovering and inventing other possibilities. These calls are for all people who want to grapple with all aspects of this economic system both external and internalized. Our hope in holding these calls is to grow our capacity to make choices within our sphere of influence, even if only internally, that challenge the norms of fairness, deserving, merit, economic security, material resources as measuring value, and everything else that is part of the modern economic narrative and structures.
More info and link to free registration.
"As I understand it," Miki writes, "patriarchy is the original separation, and it restructured both institutions and thinking. At its core, it's a separation from life, from self, from others, and from nature. Capitalism, racism, and all the other forms of exploitation, oppression, war, and now environmental degradation, could only come into being because patriarchy already primed us for them."
Sunday, February 25, 10:30am - noon
Monday, February 26, 5:00 - 6:30pm
Sunday, March 25, 10:30am - noon
Saturday, February 10, 9:30 - 11:00am
Tuesday, February 27, 6:30 - 8pm
Saturday, March 10, 9 - 10:30am
Friday, March 23, 5:30 - 7:00pm
Principle-Based Teaching Coaching Calls
Saturday, February 24, 10:30am - 12:00pm
Sunday, March 11, 3:30 - 5:00pm
The Principle-Based-Teaching calls
are designed for people who have been integrating NVC for a while, who are now sharing NVC with others in various forms, and would like to engage with others and with Miki in deepening our collective capacity to bring NVC to the world in this particular way.
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Mobilizing for Nonviolent Global Liberation
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These retreats are designed for all who want to take a next step in understanding, capacity for interdependent living, practice, service, and contribution to support the possibility of nonviolent global liberation.
Warsaw, Poland
June 4 - 10
Ben Lomond, California, USA
August 23 - 30
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Responding to the Call of Our Times
Fridays, February 2 - November 30, 2018
(44 sessions)
Noon - 2:00pm PT
Whether you are an "official" leader or not, this ongoing program will support you in freeing yourself to fully step into leadership in all aspects of your life and work, and play your part in making life work for everyone.
Info and register.
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Integrating Power and Love - San Francisco, CA
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Integrating
Power and Love: Collaboration and Leadership in Difficult Times
Save the Date - May 19 and 20
This is a workshop for you if you are ready to explore what leadership that supports and deepens collaboration can look like and what this would mean in your own life, work, and organizations.
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Nonviolent Communication Lab
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Eight-week on-line series
led by CNVC-certified trainer Aya Caspi
Select Fridays 12:00pm-1:30pm (PT)
2/2, 2/16, 2/23, 3/9, 3/23, 4/13, 4/20, 4/27
This class is designed for people who want to integrate the principles of Nonviolence into their daily living. Within a container of
radical acceptance and exquisite care, Aya will work with live situations emerging from participants in the group, clarifying the principles they want to apply to the situation, and offering powerful coaching on how to embody a nonviolent response.
For details and registration click
here.
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Support a project for empowering
Palestinian women leaders
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Miki is donating her time and collaborating with
Palestinian
NVC trainer and former UN worker Amal Hadweh on a project to empower
Palestinian
women leaders in community-based settings to capitalize on their potential to create ripple effects that can shift power relations within the
Palestinian
community. This project begins with 4 days of intensive training in Bethlehem.
Would you support us to cover the costs of the training? We are aiming to raise $7,500 to cover transportation, accommodations, and fees for Amal and her assistant. To donate, click
here
and choose "Palestinian Women's Training" in the drop down menu for project designation.
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We invite you to join with others and to consider being part of the Circle of Support. If you have the capacity and willingness to contribute, you can help build the foundation of sustainability for the future for this work to thrive.
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