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Dear CAI Family,
For weeks now, I’ve been planning to send a notice to the congregation about our plans to mark the first anniversary of October 7. Each time I sat down to write, I felt at a loss for words (even now) to properly articulate what I’m feeling and what I think you might need to hear from your rabbi. Many of us still feel stuck on October 7 — living with the shock and pain of that awful day and each piece of news feels like another wave crashing down upon us. How can we remember, memorialize, honor the past when we are still living it?
This weekend’s tragedies were another moment of crashing and breaking and again I find myself without adequate words to express myself or offer comfort to you, my dear congregation.
A wise person once said that there are times when God asks nothing of God’s children except silence, patience, and tears. Silence, because the pain and illogic of the murder of innocent human beings is too overwhelming for words; patience, because we know that we, the living, have no choice but to endure with the abiding faith that somehow life must go on; and tears, because they can be a purifying expression of our grief — an expression of raw emotion when language fails us. This is one of those times and I pray for silence, patience, and tears.
Amidst all of this, we try, somehow, to look ahead to a new year. Kids return to school, it’s Rosh Hodesh (the new month) of Elul — a time for reflection, renewal, and recommitment. This morning, we began to sound the shofar and add special prayers as part of our daily services to start our spiritual preparation for a new Jewish year.
As we take stock, we ask ourselves, mah nishtanah — what was different about this year? How are we different from this time last year? I suspect we still don’t know how these events that are continuing to unfold have changed us and changed our world.
As I think back on the many moments that defined this year in our community and for Jews around the world.
On Simhat Torah, we found a way to dance through our shock and grief.
On Hanukkah, we searched for slivers of light.
On Purim, we tried to access joy and shout down evil.
On Pesah we prayed for freedom and redemption.
On Yom Ha-atzma’ut we sang Hatikvah with tears in our eyes.
Each holiday hit differently this year. But one truth resonated throughout it all — no matter what we were feeling, being together with our community helped. It was both a response and a balm to the pain of the world.
As we approach the first anniversary of October 7/Simhat Torah, I want to share some of our plans for this High Holy Day season as we seek to hold complex emotions and build resilience together.
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Beginning with Tish’a B’av, the saddest day in the calendar cycle, we added a kinah — poem of lament — to our liturgy as October 7 took its place alongside the many tragedies that have befallen our people.
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We are mindful of the over 102 individuals who cannot be home with their families because they are being held hostage in Gaza as they have been for the past 333 days. We hope and pray that by the time we gather for Rosh Hashanah they will be home and this will no longer be relevant, but if it is, we will set aside 10 (a minyan of) seats near the front of our sacred space to symbolically represent the hostages. They will be with us in spirit even if they cannot be with us in person.
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On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we will include several additional readings in Hebrew and English that reflect the experience of this year and find a foothold in the High Holy Day liturgy. Many of these readings are songs and poems written by Israelis since October 7. Each one will be accompanied by an explanation and framing.
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As you may already know, Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest NJ is planning a community-wide gathering to mark the anniversary of October 7 — marking the Gregorian one-year anniversary. I will be there and I encourage you to consider attending. More information about registering can be found here.
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As you may know, the overarching dedication to our new siddurim (prayer books) is to honor those who died on October 7 and its aftermath. This was the request of the anonymous donors who sponsored the purchase of these siddurim. Members of the congregation can add their own personal dedications to individual copies of the siddur for $72. These dedications will be in the prayer books by Simhat Torah. You can find more information here.
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As we often do, we will add a special paragraph to our Yizkor prayers on Yom Kippur and Sh’mini Atzeret to honor those who have died “al kiddush hashem — for the sanctification of God’s name.” This is a prayer for people who were killed simply because they were Jews living Jewish lives or defending the Jewish people and our heritage. It takes on additional meaning in the current context.
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On Simhat Torah (the anniversary on the Jewish calendar of the October 7 atrocities), as we did last year when we were first learning of the news from Israel, we will have one silent hakafah (a circle procession of the Torahs, typically accompanied by joyous song and dancing) with the Torahs. And one or more hakkafot that begin with somber/slow songs and build towards a more joyous celebratory tone. This reflects our general approach which is that while we honor and mark the loss, we also have an obligation to try to transform our grieving into joyous, thriving, Jewish life. Our hearts are capacious enough to hold both emotions at the same time.
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