I had the most amazing weekend being with these fabulous women and so many others at the Create Conference in Colorado Springs, CO with Dr. Doug Weiss and his amazing staff at Heart to Heart Counseling Center. We are all partners of a spouse who struggles or is in recovery from sexual addictions and/or intimacy anorexia.
We all have our own stories and yet they are similar in so many ways. Sharing our stories and being understood, receiving the validation we are not crazy. That there is nothing we could or couldn't have done for our husbands to do this to us. That it's okay to love and hate him at the same moment. It's okay to want to stay in the marriage and not run. It's okay if we must leave because he does not choose recovery. That we need to heal with or without him. That we will be able to breathe again. We will never be the same person, but we will come out of this strong and amazing! That we have support and will trust again. Because of betrayal we are not the same person he married but he isn't the man we thought we married. Our lives are forever changed. That there is nothing we can do to "fix" him. We can only help ourselves. That boundaries are needed, and this does not mean we are controlling or mean, it's to protect who we are. Together we share a special bond of understanding each other pains and sharing in our triumphs. We are not hear to fix each other but to "be here" for each other. And to believe actions NOT words!
I made so many new friends since my journey began in August, 2015. This journey was not on my bucket list, yet God has brought such beautiful people into my life for His greater purpose. Who am I to question that? We are daughters of the King and He has brought us together. When both spouses choose recovery you can have a "new" marriage full of love. Love for Christ comes above all.
Hope you join me in April at the next conference, where we cry, we laugh, we learn, listen, support and pray. We will heal only in community with others!
We are all so grateful for Dr. Doug Weiss for giving a voice to Partners Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal PTSD, Partners Pain, Partner Recovery and Intimacy Anorexia.
Hope your husbands will be going to the Men Make Men Sexual Recovery Retreat on November 22-24 in Edgewater, MD. I never expected the women to be asking what we are doing while their husbands are at this retreat. What an amazing surprise! So I have opened our home as well as another friend has opened her home. There are many hotels nearby as well. If you would like to join us in this powerful weekend with other women please contact me.
Michele S. Weaver