I Want To Go, Lord! Send me!
by Amy Davis
Have you heard the old expression, “the third time is the charm”? I’m not an advocate for good luck or superstitions, but I am a firm believer in God’s sovereign hand.
During my college years, the Lord stirred something in me for those who had never heard of Him. Never read His Word. Never been discipled. Not been transformed from the inside out by Him, like I had.
I learned that God’s plan for missions “is to use His redeemed people to call the nations to faith in Christ and to disciple all who respond.” (Tabletalk Magazine, What is World Missions, Craig Sheppard, April 2022) A passion was birthed for both discipleship and missions and I wanted in.
But now what? Should I send or should I go?
Together, Rob and I pursued full time Christian ministry roles upon graduating from college. After seeking wisdom from others and much prayer, we discerned that he was calling us to something else. Rob to education and me to support by working in and from our home. Along the way we answered the call to discipleship in our local church, but the passion to “go” continued to burn inside both of us.
As our family grew and we parented daughters with legitimate medical needs, the likelihood of going far away as missionaries began to fade. Close friends of ours made decisions to go to the mission field: to France, China, Kenya, Guatemala, etc. We supported by praying, giving financially, sharing their needs with others, and visiting them in the field.
We became senders. And I was not happy about it. I wanted to go.
Sounds kind of bratty, doesn’t it? I was basically upset with the Lord that He had not arranged our circumstances so that MY dreams about global mission happening MY way could be realized. I had never even been on a short-term mission trip! I had lost sight of the Lord’s call on my life and had failed to trust Him with the importance of stewarding the here and now. The importance of my role as someone who could send others well and model that to those around me, even if I never got to go.
But that all changed in October 2012. A team of ten women from FPC Rome had the opportunity to visit EPC missionaries in Albania. We received overwhelming support from our church family, learned about human-trafficking and poverty in the one country where all religion was previously outlawed, and we got to go love and support Albanian brothers and sisters who were sharing Christ with their people. It was a humbling experience to step into a place far away where the Lord was at work, using believers and non-believers alike to accomplish His purpose in calling others to Himself. He is the Rescuer, after all.
Upon our return, I was excited about the next opportunity to go.
In 2014, FPC planned a youth mission trip to Kenya. Yippee! Some of our very own FPC family members, David and Tammy Preston, had recently moved to Kenya to begin work with an organization called BlueSky Global and I couldn't wait to go, see, and serve. The plan was created, the support was raised... and the trip was cancelled. Disappointed did not begin to describe my emotions at the time.
Another opportunity to go presented itself in 2019. How about another women’s mission trip? This time to Kenya. Hmmm, sound familiar? We would be visiting Nate and Shanna Mast and Travis and Stephanie Hill—more of our FPC family! We could not wait to go. We planned, we prepared, we raised support and packed a whole lot of stuff to take! We were thrilled about the opportunity to host a women’s retreat, lead a VBS, and support our friends who were living there and doing ministry every day.
The week before the trip, I was having some health issues and decided to see my doctor. We discovered through a series of tests that I had a pancreatic tumor. What?! “Lord, not good news AND I’m not going to Kenya... again.” (Actually, the Lord and I shared many other words about the matter—mine honest and emotional. His words patient, loving, and full of truth. You can ask me another day about the rest of that story.) Rob and I went with the team to the airport and sent them off to Kenya.
Now, you may be thinking, “Amy, come on. Get a clue! Maybe you aren’t supposed to go to Kenya.” Well, I have certainly had that thought myself. Except, the Lord knows my heart’s desires. And my hope is in Him and His ability to perfect that which concerns me... in His way. Perhaps, all this sending is truly accomplishing His work in the world and in my own little life.
By the way, there is a women’s mission trip to Kenya being planned for this fall. Guess who is planning to go?
Whether I end up going or staying back and sending, He is with me and for me. And He will do what is best for me and for His world by His sovereign hand.
Maybe the third time IS the charm. Maybe it’s not.
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