One of my favorite sportswriters, Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe, does regular columns that don’t have a single subject, but instead contain his observations on several things he’s been thinking about. I guess I really wanted to be a columnist for the Globe when I was younger, so here’s the equivalent of an audition tape, I mean column.

If you are like me, you might wonder about some of these things as well.

Backing In:

The Covid Pandemic is over, but the ‘backing-into-a-parking-space' pandemic is in full swing. 

Everywhere I look, people are ‘backing’ into parking spaces for, to me, an unknown reason. Not sure it saves time. Not sure it is easier than backing out after you’ve done your business. Not sure of the skill level required. I am especially baffled by the extended bed pick up trucks that back in and stick out into the driving lane.

I used to know a kitchen manager who had a 'hankering' (it was in Memphis) for married women, and he backed into the parking space at the motel because he was legitimately concerned that he'd have to make a fast getaway. Since he told me that, every time I see a vehicle backed in, I think of him.

Plastic:

Follow me for a second. I go grocery shopping and pick up some grapes in a plastic bag and some applies in a plastic bag and go to the deli for some sliced turkey in a plastic bag. I then get some cheese in a plastic package and some milk in a plastic container. I love mustard, so I grab some in a plastic jar, and also get some water in plastic bottles. 

When I get to the checkout, there are no plastic bags anymore because they harm the environment. Hmmm.

Injury Law Firms:

I am old enough to remember when lawyers were not permitted to advertise. Now, apparently, there are millions of people who have been injured in an accident or at work and need a lawyer to screw somebody for them. The technical name for this type of attorney is 'ambulance chaser.'

I am not diminishing the need for this type of attorney, I recently reached out after my wife was in a bad car accident. What I am commenting on is the relentless pounding of the airwaves with lawyer ads where you "don’t pay unless we win." And you will pay a third of the settlement. With the hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising I see, and I really only watch sports on television, business must be very lucrative and booming. I shoulda been a lawyer.

Sports Betting:

Do you know that you can get $150 in bonus bets for betting $5 with a digital sports betting site? Of course you do. Those ads are as pervasive as the lawyer ads.

The difference is a quickly mumbled ending related to your problem gambling and where to get help. 

When I hear the ads, I wonder what my late father would think. He was a guy who had more than one bookie and gambled on sports every day, maybe all day. He joked one time that when the National Football League went on strike, that he was unemployed. What would he think about Draft Kings, MGM- Fan Duel and Fanatics?

Warranties:

Every week I get a mailer to extend the warranty on my car, my stove, my refrigerator and my house. At some point, I'm sure I will get a solicitation to extend the warranty on my sneakers. And of course, the solicitations are official looking with barcodes and customized details about your car or your address, not to mention the limited time the offer is available.



I’ve never met anyone who raved about the experience of taking advantage of these offers. Quite the contrary: I know plenty of people who feel they were burned by taking up the offer. To their credit, the companies who solicit me, simply don’t give up.

Sports Team Names:

So, I played high school sports as a ‘Wamp,’ short for Wampanoag, the Native American tribe that formerly occupied the lands of my hometown of Braintree, Massachusetts. I then played for the Redmen, at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst before that name was changed to the Minutemen. And, of course, I know that the Washington Redskins of the National Football League changed their name to the Commanders. (Did you know they started as the Boston Redskins?)

But the Atlanta Braves and Kansas City Chiefs haven’t changed their names, and their fans do the tomahawk chop. I hear that some of today’s tribes are not opposed to American Indian names. It is hard to know when to be offended sometimes. 

Then again, I hear there is a bill pending in Massachusetts that would ban Indian names from high school sports teams. 

Casinos:

When I was a kid, the only place to gamble was Las Vegas, then Atlantic City changed its zoning and then Native American Reservations started building casinos. 

Today, they are everywhere. Some have called them depositories for Social Security Checks, but they are all glitter, glitch and noisy. I wonder how do they all stay in business? Must be a lot of people losing a lot of money. Back in the day, I was responsible for some restaurants in Nevada when the state was the only place to gamble. I dropped a few bucks on roulette and slots, but never got the bug, thankfully.

Cable Television:

Today you have access to between 100 and 400 channels. Ever notice how often there is nothing on? Of course, a third of the options are home improvement, or renovation, or flipping shows, and another third are food shows with kids cooking, and desserts being made and iron chefs bowing to each other. That explains some of it.

When I was a kid, there were three stations, plus ‘educational TV’ which before Sesame Street was unwatched by kids. The TV was on a lot, with the entire family watching. 

Real Housewives of Boston:

Why is Boston being ignored? Is there no cohort of wine-drinking, ostentatious, high living, plastic surgery survivors? That can't be true, I know some people like that. Speaking of being offended, as the sixth largest TV market in the country, doesn't Boston deserve to have that segment of our population highlighted each week?

I predict that it is a matter of time before you'll see this. Unless, of course, the state deems it to be inappropriate for some reason, then it will be the Real Housewives of Providence?

How do they decide which city is glamourous or shallow enough to have one of these franchises?

Those are my observations, that as of today, didn't warrant their own Weblog, but you never know what the future holds. If you have an observation that you'd like included in the next time I use this compilation style, let me know. Together we can wonder around.