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Dear Friends and Colleagues:
What a wonderful year we had in 2022!
2022 was filled with many humbling moments and learning opportunities so I wanted to reflect on one thing I learned about myself this year.
One little lesson that we can all apply to our lives:
I sometimes think that I was born with the perfectionist gene…
I spent my young life into my 20s trying to be perfect, trying to please those around me, get good grades, win all the races and the list goes on and on.
This gene, trait, programming ran deep and it took me years to understand that it was not serving me.
This realization that what I was doing or thinking wasn’t working started me on my journey…a journey of self discovery.
I was on a quest to truly accept and love and even adore myself including my flaws and imperfections.
I was on a quest to see the world around me as beautiful even if flawed and broken.
Because with perfectionism you are always looking forward to the future and to the day when you have achieved everything, when everything is just right, when nothing is left to achieve because you are perfect.
Where did this urge to be perfect come from?
Becoming self aware and discovering one of my top Clifton Strengths - Futuristic - gave me the answer.
People who are futuristic are inspired by the future and what could be. We love to dream and visualize the future and what can be. Futuristic people can inspire others and make others believe in their vision of the future even when it seems almost impossible due to obstacles and challenges.
I love to dream. I love to create. I love to inspire. All great things about futuristic people.
Being futuristic can have some drawbacks too.
The fact that we so intently focus on tomorrow could make us miss the amazing beauty of today.
I realized that this futuristic quality contributed to my perfectionism.
My idea of perfection needed to change. A messy, crazy, upside down life can be the “perfect” life as long as we embrace it.
I had to harness, control and temper my strong futuristic urges to be able to enjoy the blissfully imperfect moments of my present NOW.
What I have learned is that the unknown present moment, even with all its flaws, is where I need to stay to create the so-called “perfect” life that is my future.
I always feared that what that "perfect life" looks like after all my falls, failures, shortcomings, defeats, frustrations and losses may resemble something more broken than beautiful.
Then I read about the art form/concept of Kintsugi, which is the ancient Japanese art of taking broken pieces of pottery and gluing them back together with glue laced with gold, creating beautiful pieces of art with the breaks, flaws and scars highlighted in gold. Read more about Kintsugi.
That is me. I am that Kintsugi ceramic pot, made more beautiful not because of my perfection, but because of my failures and shortcomings. That is who I want to be!
Letting go of my perfectionism and understanding why I wanted to be perfect helped me change my definition of “perfect.” I now embrace all my flaws, cracks and scars and now I see their beauty and sparkle like that Kintsugi ceramic pot laced with gold.
And to you, my wonderful friends, you too are beautiful and not broken. Let the gold laced glue (we all use to put ourselves back together after tough times) sparkle and shine with your true beauty into the new year and beyond!
Sending lots of love!
xo
Elizabeth
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