Try zig-zagging into these conversations to generate ideas and extend your influence. 

The key to being a powerful leader isn't giving orders -- it's extending your influence. And one important way to do that is by spreading and soliciting new ideas.  

As an influential leader, you are a conduit of ideas. Some are your own, while others are from your team. Some are well-baked concepts and validated theories, while others are raw musings and trial balloons. But to be an influential leader, one way or another, you must forward these ideas and ultimately convert them into action.

History often prevents us from doing great things together.

Here comes Sofia, for example, taking her seat at your weekly managers' meeting. You know she's good at what she does, but that massive screw-up she was responsible for three months ago --with your best customer, no less -- still stings. You'll complete the meeting politely, of course, and she will have no idea you're still harboring hurt. But you'll also fail to collaborate at the level you could-- and should.

Now here's Fred sauntering through the conference room door. You know he's absolutely the best guy for that exciting new project you have, but you find it hard to engage with him at present, because you know he's in open conflict with another manager and with you for taking the other manager's side. To prevent any further grief, you'll give the project to someone else and it won't be as well executed as it would have been if Fred had managed it.

And now you're half way through the managers' meeting, but only one-tenth of the way through the agenda. Why? Because you, and Sofia, and Fred, and Mateo, and Kirsty-- in fact everyone around the table -- has at least one issue with someone else. They all nurse some grievance, some story, some narrative, some perspective that colors and warps your interaction as a team.