Most, if not all of us, don't appreciate what we have.

We take friends, family, food, clothing, housing and other elements of life for granted. Contrast our attitude with those in war-torn areas who either don't have anything to take for granted, or don't take what they have for granted.

Some people complain about everything that is less than 100% perfect and waste a lot of time and energy: it doesn't benefit them or others. In fact, it actually hurts them and others in most cases.

We've all heard it a million times, but our attitude has such an impact on our lives. Two people with the same obstacles, challenges, or problems, end up with different outcomes and much of the difference can be attributed to attitude.

I've often believed that 'thriving' is not an accident, and here's why.

Name one thing in your entire life experience that went 100% exactly, perfectly, flawlessly, exactly as you planned it? Your wedding? Your senior year? 2023? Your performance review? Your last Happy Meal?

Ok, I did marry the girl of my dreams, so there are exceptions to the rule, but I have also had head-scratching performance reviews and cold French fries.

Our personal and professional lives are filled with obstacles, curveballs, last minute changes, fire drills, and requests-from-above-at-the-most-inconvenient times. 

There are a limited number of ways to react to these ‘challenges.’ Today’s word for pain-in-the-butt, problems, issues, etc. (‘Opportunities’ is so last year-don’t use it).

I’ve observed that these three types of reactions to ‘things’ or ‘change’ also apply to the continuing havoc the current world situation has wreaked on society. (I know I’ve asked this before, but can you wreak anything else besides havoc? Do you ever use the word 'wreak' in everyday conversation?)

The 'reactions' I'm referencing don't include the ‘Huh?’ Reaction of those who are clueless in Seattle, or Boston or Miami. Those folks are happier than we are because oblivion is a very happy location, but not a AAA Recommended destination.

So, what are the three reactions to change or disruptions like high interest rates, re-masking for the holidays or having your favorite TV show canceled?

You Can Obsess: Your reaction might be to think about the issue all day, every day and share your obsession with everyone you meet. You can lose sleep, lose weight (not a bad thing), lose hair (a bad thing), lose friends, and gain enemies. When you obsess about problems, no one wants to be you or be with you. You are not fun, and you have no fun. Think of a flower garden with some flowers and weeds. You are a weed.

Stop watching CNN as the first step to recovery from your obsession. Second step, take singing lessons? Third, maybe stop listening to Led Zeppelin or Gang Green and switch to bluegrass or blues to slow down.

You Can Whine: You can also choose to react by whining about the obstacle or the change and tell everyone and anyone how stupid it is, how clueless people are, how it doesn’t make sense, how it prevents you from doing your job properly, wah, wah, wah.

Do you want cheese with that? News flash: no one, and I mean no one, not even your partner who pretends to listen, wants to hear another whine from you about the situation.  Guess what, you’re a weed in that same garden.

Your recovery starts, rather unusually, by talking to yourself. In your closet. With no one home. Or talk to the family dog, they seem to enjoy this kind of talk, and THEY can whine back. What made you think we all want to listen to your ranting? Do you like listening to others rant? Think about the Golden Rule pal.

You Can Rise: You can react in a different way, instead of obsessing or whining. As soon as you realize that nothing you can say or do is going to change the change, or should change the change, you can rise above it.

In fact, if you do so immediately, you have a huge advantage on those who need to continue to obsess and/or whine about it. Rising quickly to the challenge, to the new set of rules, to the inconvenient request, gives you an automatic head start, and it does something else: it gets you noticed. You are a flower and really stand out among the weeds and won’t get pulled.

Leaders love those who rise quickly when thrown for a loop. Love them. Appreciate them. Value them. ‘Rise’ kind of implies moving ‘up’ doesn’t it? That’s what happens to the person who rises when everyone around them is whining and obsessing.

Let’s think about this for a minute. Are your chances better for future success if you obsess, whine, or rise? A great Jeopardy Question, don’t you think? "Common Sense for $200?"

What determines the eventual outcome for obstacles or changes or other disruptions in your way, is you. Not the disruption or change or pandemics. It just SEEMS that way to those who obsess and those who whine. Rephrase: it IS that way for those who obsess and those who whine.

You still always have three choices:

1. You can obsess, and we’ll talk behind your back about how unfun you are. Trust me, we do this, even if it is to ourselves.
2. You can whine, and those that love you will tell you to shut up. Please don't ignore that advice.
3. You can rise, and amaze everyone, including yourself. Even you'll be proud of you.

With choices this different, it is easy to see how YOUR choice impacts very different outcomes. I recommend that you try to rise, so you can thrive through it, whatever ‘it’ might be.

There are no regrets in life.

Just Lessons

-JENNIFER ANNISTON