This year has been very humbling and eye-opening experience. Having grown up in the North Country, and being so close to Fort Drum, I heard a lot about deployed soldiers and families enduring the time apart from their loved one. Yet, I never fully appreciated it until I'm faced with having to "survive deployment" while my husband is deployed in Kuwait.
This is my husband's last deployment. This year marks his 40th year having served in the Army National Guard, a milestone truly worth acknowledging. A good friend of mine recently encouraged me to celebrate this final deployment and support my husband's excitement when he calls and shares his good days and wins. Everyday I remind myself to do so because deployment is not easy.
Deployment is not easy because of the additional responsibilities that falls on one's shoulders on top of transitioning from companionship to being completely alone. Managing household finances, taking care of the vehicles, family pets, errands, cleaning, laundry while working full time and attending evening meetings is hard. With the winter season, add shoveling and plowing too.
Loneliness creeps in too. It's really quiet in my home now. Our movie nights, drives, walks, dates, and time spent with friends are missed. I've learned to embrace this time by completing household projects and catching up on my personal "to-do's." Our whole place is almost repainted!
It's always been hard for me to accept help but it's been amazing and truly heart-warming to see friends and acquaintances offering their help, time, and support. THANK YOU to Rodney's friends who show up and plow when I'm completely overwhelmed. THANK YOU to Deanna and Phil who drove from Gouverneur during the Christmas blizzard to help me with the last few hours of shoveling and digging our vehicles out. Thank you to my Secretary, Rebekah, for supporting me on a daily basis. Thank you to my friends for the texts, calls, hugs, and occasional dinners. Thank you to my sister, daughter, son in law, and dad who have been incredibly supportive. Thank you to everyone who asks, "how are you doing?" Those words mean a lot.
If you know a military spouse, children, families of a deployed soldier or someone living alone or facing a challenging time, please check in with them. During this humbling time, I've learned that it takes a village to lift individuals. Ask the question, "how are you doing?" Offer to help with a task or chore. Bring a homemade meal or help a child with homework or a shared activity. It makes a difference and is impactful. Don't assume people are okay. Check in.
Lastly, if you are a military spouse or family, we want to hear from you. Please contact us so we can open dialogue and ask, "how are you doing?" We would love to share your experiences in next month's newsletter. AChase@stlawco.org
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