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The Power of Being Seen
Written by Ashley Smith, a Youth MOVE Massachusetts Peer Specialist
Six years ago, I was a resident in an all-girls intensive residential program through the Department of Mental Health. It was a locked program with hefty security measures. Intricate rules and regulations dictated everything we did. We would be punished if we bit our nails, as it was considered a form of self-mutilation. They counted our calorie intake during meals and snacks, and if we were a few calories short that day, we would be confined to our rooms. Every day, we had to form a line and walk a specific number of laps along the hallway walls. This is what I became used to.
When you walk into programs like this, you don’t expect to succeed. You expect people to give up on you. To see you as a file instead of a person. A case, not a kid.
That was me. By the time I landed in this program, I had convinced myself that I was stupid, broken, and hopeless. That mindset is common for youth in residential programs, and unless someone interrupts that cycle, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For me, that interruption came in the form of one teacher who worked at the program. He reminded me, over and over again, that I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t believe him at the time. It took me four more years before I could, but he was right.
What made him different wasn’t just academics. It was connection. He was the only one I felt truly saw me as a person, not a case file...
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