I have a friend who moved out of Baltimore who I miss. Often when I'm near the area of that friend, I reach out to attempt to meet up. It never happens. The person can't, or won't, or doesn't. I no longer ask. Personal or not, it feels like rejection. I have other friends who can, and will, and do meet up.
I have a hubby who prefers to stay home. Most everything I go do, I will invite him along. Could be as simple as a dog walk or as complex as the next trip to Sardinia, Italy. He says
no
11 times out of 10. I always say I'm never asking him again, but I do. Still, it feels like a brushoff. (Yet I do not have another husband to invite. Should I get a boyfriend?) :D
I have a daughter who I haven't seen since Christmas. After she graduated college, she accepted a job in California and fell in love with the state. I've been begging her to come home since the planet has been ON HOLD. She hasn't yet, or can't, or won't, or doesn't. I say I won't ask her to come home anymore, but I do - the next day. (We
never
give up on our kids, do we!?)
How do YOU feel when you beg people for their time but are consistently shut down? Do you eventually give up, or hope one day you'll hear a
yes
?
Why do we keep at it? Are we suckers? Are we starved for attention? Gluttons for punishment? Is it we love them so much?
Should we forget those specific people? Ask someone else more willing to show, to go, to visit, to participate? Someone who seems happier to want to be together?
Do you have friends/family for which you are Cruise Director mostly? Are you the one who usually reaches out by text, messenger, phone? Does it seem that if you didn't plan stuff, you'd never see or hear from them? Is this enough questions? I feel that way with certain people I love.
Maybe you shrug it off and accept it as merely the way they're wired. Or maybe you think it doesn't matter who makes the attempt to gather - as long as it happens.
Some people excel at planning, thinking of activities, finding events, coordinating trips, scheduling meet-ups, gathering the group, hosting the parties ...
FUN CENTRAL
. Others stink at it, claim they're too busy, don't have time, or it doesn't cross their minds.
Is that okay? Or is that proof they are not investing in their relationships?
Do we love them anyway, accept them anyway, plan anyway? Or do we say,
"Poo-poo on you. Bye-bye."
I saw this on someone's instagram the other day:
Never beg for love. Never beg someone to love you back. Or to be with you. Never beg for someone's time, commitment, affection, attention. Never beg for someone to stay with you. Find those who will give this to you with open arms. But don't beg - it's demeaning.
What do you think, snippeteers? Who would be
IN
- and who would be
OUT
of your life if you sat back and waited for them?
