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Dear Friends in Christ,
Stephanie and I have reached a point in our marriage — 37 years as of August 16 — in which it is not unusual for people to congratulate us. I find that a bit odd. For what, exactly, are we being congratulated? Yes, we’ve created a loving and steadfast life together with intentionality, honesty and plenty of forgiveness. But it doesn’t feel as if we’ve accomplished something or achieved a goal.
So, when people congratulate us, we’ll often respond by saying that we’re blessed. Which is true. We feel blessed. But I find myself wondering, what about people whose marriages have been a struggle or are broken? Are their lives less blessed by God?
Here’s another way to think about this. Consider the phrase “There but for the grace of God go I,” which I will confess is one of my least favorite sentiments in the English language. It is commonly uttered when someone whose life is going well observes someone else who is suffering a hardship. The phrase assumes God’s grace is somehow limited, that it is reserved for some but not for others.
I’m thinking about this because I’m reading These Precious Days, a collection of essays by Ann Patchett. In “The Worthless Servant,” she writes:
“The trouble with good fortune is that we tend to equate it with personal goodness, so that if things are going well for us and less well for others, it’s assumed they must have done something to have brought that misfortune on themselves while we must have worked harder to avoid it. We speak of ourselves as being blessed, but what can that mean except that others are not blessed, and that God has picked out a few of us to love more?”
I suspect Jesus might respond to my questions as well as Patchett’s with the Beatitudes. “Blessed are you who are poor, … Blessed are you who are hungry, … Blessed are you who weep. … Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man.” (Luke 6:20-22; see also Matthew 5:1-12)
Everyone is blessed, Jesus tells us. Everyone is favored by God. God’s grace has no limits.
Which means the experience of blessing is not something for us to hoard. It is a gift for us to share. Whenever we see misfortune in any form — poverty, hunger, marginalization, racism, loneliness — we are called by Jesus to be instruments of God’s blessing and conduits of grace.
As Patchett goes on to write, “It is our responsibility to care for one another, to create fairness in the face of unfairness and find equality where none may have existed in the past.”
Your Friend in Christ,
The Rev. John. Denson, D.Min., Rector
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