Chatting with a friend over dinner, I mentioned I was enjoying the series, GASLIT on Starz, starring Julia Roberts, who played a solid role as a politician's wife - based on a true story.

"I don't like her," said my friend.

"Why not?" I asked.

"A friend once worked with her on a production years ago and said she was a bitch."

"Were you there?" I asked. "Do you know her?"

"Well, no," said my friend.

"So how do you know you wouldn't like her? You didn't work with her and she was not a bitch to you, right?" (I had to play devil's advocate.)

Because how did my friend actually know? She was basing her thought on another person's experience and interaction - it was not hers to claim. And all that time, she has thought the actress a bitch, based on only one friend's opinion.

Even if it was true, what if the actress changed? People grow up. People learn how to act better with maturity. Even if it was true, and 49 other people said the actress was a bitch to work with, wouldn't we have to personally experience Julia Roberts for ourselves to actually know?

What if she is great to work with? What if she is a superb actress and my friend has been missing out on watching that talent in movies since deciding years ago not to like her?

What if my friend worked with Julia Roberts? Then she can honestly say she did or did not like her. Then it would be her experience.

Snippeteers, it is challenging not to automatically take on someone's experience of something we have not personally experienced. And as humans, we each will walk away with a different evaluation of a person, a scene, a movie, a place, a thing, a restaurant.

We are independent thinkers, and should not be led by the nose ring by someone else's opinion.

As well, we each possess various personalities, moods, Myers Briggs ratings, cycles. What if Julia Roberts was having a bad few weeks when my friend's friend worked with her?

Not everyone will like everyone - and sometimes, I will like a person or thing which you do not. And in reverse. Yet I would hope that first we will actually meet that person or do that thing to experience our personal experience.

Let us strive not to judge a person, place or thing by only "heresay." I say, go ... have your OWN experience.

You might be surprised it turns out differently than you have "heard" all along.

"I have read your SNIPPETS every week since you probably started. (I think we all signed up on one of our bus trips to Williamsburg.) This one particularly hit me, since for the last year, I've been taking care of my husband - up to his last breath last week. I have done nothing but multi-task. I honestly do not know how loved ones who become caregivers do this with jobs, etc. I never enjoyed my pedi because I was too busy answering emails and watching the clock to get back home. Now for me to move on is even harder because I am empty. What was the use of all that multi-tasking I did? Please send a prayer for me, my boys, and grandkids to get through this loss. Thanks for listening."

~ Donna in Maryland

"I loved Barbie, too! My favorite part was also the mom's speech. Oh so true! It made me feel like we women are all in this together."

~ Karen in Maryland

"I love all your snippets! They are all very true."

~ Phyllis in Maryland

"The snippet was right to the point. We were at a Baltimore Orioles game Saturday night and the two young boys in front of me were on their phones or taking photos. Why pay for the seats if they didn’t watch the game! A sad world that everyone has to have their phones in their hands 24/7. When I’m home, I try to look at my phone only in the morning and evening. I would rather enjoy my day. Have a great week. Take care."

~ Deborah in Maryland



the only source of knowledge

is experience