We say we don't (or shouldn't) care about what others think of us. Yet we actually do, don't we?
Twice this week while dealing with Customer Service desks, I examined how I acted. The first time was while trying to return a broken-handle carryon suitcase at Kohl's, used for the first time on my African adventure. (Ack, but for the silly 1st World Problems we have!) The receipt was dated from last October, past their return window. Blah blah blah ... a replacement new suitcase and I had a happy ending as we wheeled out of the store, yet not before I lost my cool with the Customer Service rep.
And ... I had bumped into someone in line who I had just met last week at pickleball - and she heard everything.
I walked away from that encounter thinking how I contributed negatively to that Customer Service rep's day - only to get my way. Guess what? That didn't feel good. I also walked away wondering what the person who I knew behind me in line (plus the other customers waiting their turn) thought of my impatience - and of me?
The second incident was at Mr. Tire where I went for an oil change. I was already armed with defensiveness since it seems as if those places always try to sell me something "extra." But with the Kohl's interaction on my mind, I was determined to be the friendliest customer ever. I had two days of practice, too, as I dealt with ordering two new front tires, waiting in their waiting room during the oil change, then leaving my car, Uber'ing home, and finding a ride back the following day to retrieve my Valentina - my FIAT 500X.
Which incident felt better for me? Definitely playing Friendliest Customer Ever. I skipped out of Mr. Tire feeling lighter and satisfied. So did Valentina, who felt fresher with her new wheels.
Snippeteers, we all know that sometimes when we feel anger, it isn't about the specific person or situation we are in - it usually stems from something deeper in our psyche which is ailing us subconsciously. Yet we too easily allow anger to be our GO-TO emotion, don't we?
Could we begin to notice when we are gearing up to become angry? Could we nip it in the bud? Choose a different reaction? You bet your sweet tires.
I am not suggesting to repress our anger - no, that can be dangerous to our stress and health. I am suggesting that anger can be a habit when things go awry ... when we don't get our way ... when we don't want to spend $827 on new tires that day.
Anger does not always have to be our first response. We have better control over our reactions than that. We do.
I know between me and Hubs, we tend to repeat the same angry phrases over and over during spats - why? HABIT after 31 years of marriage, that's why. I bet you and your spouse/partner tend to do the same.
"Anger can be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system," says an article in DailyOm. "However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth."
If our anger was just between us and us, no problem. However, it is coming out of us through emails, conversations, interactions, phone calls, texts. And others are listening to it. Is that how we want them to think of us? As an always angry person?
We should never let someone walk away with a misconception of us. The untruth is not fair to them - or us.
