just to please others?

friday.26.august.2022

judgmental judy

All rise. Order in the court!

This week, Judgmental Judy was finishing up a five-month-long writing and design project of a 44-page booklet for an event next month. During the time of promoting the project to collect information and photos, she had clearly stated a deadline - which had passed one month ago.

On the same day she sent the draft of the booklet to the printer, one person last-minute emails his material to be included ... which The Judge was not expecting, nor had saved space. Her reply email was, "It's too late. I am already finished the layout and have submitted the draft." (Being careful not to apologize, mind you, since it was not her fault.)

The person's casual excuse? "Life got in the way."

J.Judy felt miffed that the person had not paid attention to the deadline and expected special treatment ... when it was his fault he was late. (Life gets in the way for ALL of us, dear late person.)

Although Judgmental Judy had a right to reject the material, she felt mean, uppity, righteous - and Catholic-guilty for doing so. She held her ground a few days while hanging on to her anger.

Could she squeeze in the material? Yes. Did she want to, on the principal of the thing? No.

But that good old Italian Catholic guilt nabbed the better of her, and so she found a half-page space to include that person's material.

But then what? She was mad at herself for caving.

Snippeteers, at what point do we sacrifice our rightful feelings simply to make someone else happy? To what extent do we create more work for ourselves because someone else cannot follow directions and help us along? Must we bend over backwards and inconvenience ourselves simply to please others?

The Judge bangs her gavel on people who expect special treatment ... everyone is busy. She bangs her gavel that deadlines are set for a reason and people should pay better attention. And more gavel-banging on the fact no one should inconvenience anyone else just to get their way - especially when that person is at fault to begin with.

GUILTY. Case closed.

snippeteer backtalk

(on what matters is now

"Loved your article, What Matters is Now - very true."

~ Cara in Maryland

"Beautiful article - so true. Your article was so touching. I try to live each day to the fullest as each day is a gift Take care. Love your articles every week."

~ Deborah in Maryland

"I absolutely love this snippet! It must be about the now or you will never know what 'living each day to the fullest' means; because if you hold on to all the bad yesterdays, then you miss out on today. Sorry for the loss of your friend, I’m sure she is smiling down on you and loving this snippet."

~ Michele O in Maryland

"Love it!"

~ Dianne in Annapolis, Maryland

"The neighbors on Sparks Farm can’t be beat. We all really hit the jackpot."

~ Emma in NC (who grew up in Maryland)

"It was a beautiful article. Gone too soon with so much more to give to so many who knew her as well as those who had yet to experience the bounty of her soul ... yes, we must remember to live for today, put aside the regrets and hurts of yesterday and look forward to tomorrow with anticipation but no expectations. May her precious spirit live on through those she touched with her love of life!!"

~ Sandy in Maryland

"What a beautiful smile!!! I am so sorry for the void you are all feeling. May all find peace and comfort in the days ahead."

~ xoxo, Angie

"Your brilliant choice of the Ram Dass quote sums it ALL up to perfection — and applies to yesterday, today and tomorrow." [We are all just walking each other home. - Ram Dass]

~ Deb in Florida

"I loved your piece on Nancy and the great words for us who are living for today. I lost my good childhood friend, Lydia, of 60 years last month and it hit home. I looked for pictures of all the good times, too, and not think about all our hard times since she had cancer for 20 years and gave it a good fight. I called all my childhood friends and asked them to not be too distance - and let's keep in contact; for we never know when God calls our name.

I have lived all my life with the words Live for Today, so, great words to give to your readers. Thanks for the beautiful insight into honoring our living family and friends.

I love your emails so please keep them coming."

~ Mary Ann in Port Saint John, Florida

"I just want to say I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and neighbor, Nancy. You are so right - what matters is now, and being with - and appreciative of - our family and friends in the moment. Prayers for all."

~ Karen in Maryland

"Thank you for strengthening the reminder of what matters. This snippet really made me reflect."

~ Linda in Maryland

"So sorry about your neighbor and friend. Your piece was beautifully written ... I especially loved the quote - We are all just walking each other home. Love your heart, friend!! Thanks for your inspirations!"

~ Barbie in Maryland

"I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, Nancy. We are at the age now where more and more of us are losing friends. Now Nancy was still young, but so are the friends we are losing who are in their 70s and even early 80s. But you are so right, it is NOW that we are to cherish.

I loved the part where you were so sure, rightfully so, that no one was sitting there remembering the 'not so great' moments in their relationship. I have to admit, being on marriage number 3 [and, after celebrating our 25th anniversary this week, it looks like this one might last], I could never figure out why some people get so caught up in the 'bad' memories when all of them must have started out 'in love' and why couldn't those be the memories that last?

That was a bit of a digression from the original idea of the loss of a friend, but the loss of a marriage falls into the same category of you having a choice of which moments you are going to remember."

~ joanne in new york

" I truly enjoy reading SNIPPETS each week. You seem to see things that we all see but then transform them into beautiful words we can all relate to, laugh at, and learn from. I thank you for that. Your words just hit me profoundly. Thank you for helping so many heal at difficult times."

~ Joanne in Maryland