I do not think you would disagree it is sometimes hard to KEEP UP. There seems to be always so much to accomplish in our daily schedules, between owning/renting homes, working, hobbies, relationships, playing sports, exercising, social media, social activities, buying gifts, sending birthday cards, managing incoming mail, writing emails, filing insurance claims ... and in the midst of all that, finding time to shave our legs and pluck our eyebrows.
We must change filters monthly in our air conditioning units ... decorate the house for the next holiday ... maintain the persistent weeds ... dump salt bags into the water system ... visit our aging parents & relatives ... skim the pool of leaves ... clean out closets ... give the dog a monthly heartworm pill ... maintain websites ... schedule the plumber / roofer / electrician ... grocery shop ... sort laundry ... cook dinner ... clean the toilet ... handle family crisis ... store the deck furniture for the winter ... pay bills ... get manis & pedis ... feed the donkeys & chickens ... blah blah blah.
You know life's drill and you're probably thinking of a jillion additional tasks in your world to add to this infinity list.
Always SO much to keep up with, right? Yes, some is self-created. Some we could omit if we chose. Others are obligation. Some are guilt. Some of it is simple daily maintenance. Others more complicated. And some of it is a given for all humans which we have to do whether we want to or not - like taxes and brushing our teeth.
Hard enough to keep up with our bodies, our households, our work - let alone keeping up with other people. But we want to be a good friend, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, coworker, wife, brother, uncle, husband, neighbor. Right?
And that takes effort and time. That takes keeping up.
We don't mean to forget that someone is going through a rough time. We don't intend to forget about a friend's upcoming surgery or that our neighbor's kid is waiting for their first baby to arrive. We aren't trying to be unconscious when we forget to check in with someone's sadness, crisis, joyful accomplishment; see how their treatments are going, send a sympathy card, see how their moving to a new house went, or ask if they've watched the latest episode of Ted Lasso.
We are good people. We have big hearts. We don't mean to be so focused on me-me-me as we do life. Yet sometimes we are-are-are since there is always so much to do to keep up.
This week, a friend asked me the latest about something I had told her a few months ago. Awwww, you know what? That felt good that she remembered and cared enough about me to check in.
I happened to email a snippeteer earlier this week on how her daughter's pregnancy was going, and it happened to be the day after the baby was born and died. :-( Sweet little baby Nash in our prayer flares. Maybe it helped that grandmom that day to feel a little more loved and supported through this tragedy. Maybe she was able to vent a little bit off her chest as we exchanged the next round of emails on the sad topic. I'm glad I checked in.
One of my nonprofit clients checked in with me yesterday about Mamma Gina because the last email she had received from me was that we had an ER family crisis, and that I was unable to start the design project for her organization to which I had committed. I replied that we had sadly lost my mamma, and that I very much appreciated her checking in.
Now look, I cannot remember everything about everyone either - my life is FULL of great people I love - so here are 3 little tips that work for me:
- When someone mentions they are having a surgery or some other important item, I add the date to my phone calendar (with an alert).
- As I text someone, I will scroll back to previous texts to see what we had discussed, what was on their mind, perhaps something they had confided in me. I feel like a nicer person when I keep up and ask them about their life.
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Because I know they are up late like me, I text my two youngest kids every night before I go upstairs to bed. Just checking in, keeping up, sending a little love. The older two boys and my daughter-in-law I will more often text a 'good morning' ... just checking in, keeping up, sending a little love.
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[sideline] Oh, the beauty of texting! And all the adorable bitmojis on our phones. We don't have to struggle to "find time" to make a phone call to keep up with someone. (Although when we do, phone calls are good for keeping up, too.) Have we ever in our lives been more in touch, more in contact, more often than NOW - 2021 - in our newer world of daily texting and emoticons? I love it. I am able to keep up that way with a LOT of people. Because I love them. (As I am writing this, I just received a text from across the ocean from Zahra, one of my Italian cousins. Even six hours ahead at her time of 1:30 a.m., she was keeping up with me.) :D
It is beneficial when we are able to keep up with our PEOPLE - to them, to us. Life is busy, snippeteers, busier than ever. And life is challenging - we have so much to do, yes ... but we so need each other. Keep up with your people.
