I am a waver ... a "Hello!"er. I very much enjoy greeting people passing by while riding my bike, driving, or walking my pup. I always wave to the road construction crew members holding the SLOW and STOP signs on poles. [It's a job, yes ... but how monotonous must it be to turn a sign in circles for eight hours a day? So I wave. And you know what? They always wave back.]

Last week walking Lupini, I did not look at the cars passing through the neighborhood or people walking by. I was not in a waver mood. Sometimes I tell myself ... "You do not have to wave to every person, Pollyanna!" 

My Floridian friend Deb's former boss once told her, "Not every email needs a response." (Translation in my head - not every person needs to be greeted). As we coffee pow-wowed together one morning, and relationships popped up as a topic, Deb shared that we could apply that concept to non-email-related situations, such as ceasing to say snide words in return to our spouses, siblings, strangers, neighbors, or the biggie - Customer Service reps on the phone.

Wise thought!

"I have since broadened and applied that message to more than emails," said Deb, "letters, texts, and yes, conversations. I try to weigh first - will I derive meaning, satisfaction, an answer - if I respond? Or will I be just expending valuable time and energy leading to nothing, or worse, more wasted time and energy? If the latter, I don’t respond more often than not ... and more often than not, I find it is more cathartic and positive."

Snippeteer and friend, Bernadette, once told me she physically puts her index finger over her mouth to remind herself to 'shut up' when she wants to snap back at hubby during a heated discussion.

Wise gesture!

Perhaps now when we feel a snide retort, not-so-positive thought, or complaint bubbling inside our heads (and mouths!), let's strive to listen to those words from Deb's boss ... not every email needs a response. Or, we can do as Bernadette does, and use our index finger (vs. perhaps flashing our middle finger).

Snippeteers, we do not have to have the last word, the upper hand, win the verbal power struggle, or continue a squabble. We can choose not to reply.

"Just sending a BRAVO for your continuing SNIPPETS column! Also a hello from your ole co-worker. Cheers!!!"

~ Cindy B in Maryland

"YIKES! You described me! How do you turn off the guilt when you can't fix everyone and everything?"

~ Pat W in Pennsylvania 

"God has given us gifts and yours is the gift of empathy! I am so thankful that He has given you that gift and you have given 'your all' to it. Unto whom much is given, much is expected. In this crazy world that has everyone looking out for themselves, snippeters are drawn to you because of your EMPATHY. Thanks for doing it and being so faithful." 

~ Blessings, Lesley G in Maryland

"Yes, it is too much to handle! I struggle, too."

~ Stacey B in Maryland

"It is overwhelming but you have to see the good things all around you: nature, sunsets, sunrises, new babies, new puppies, all the giving around us to those in need, etc, etc. Thank goodness there is way more goodness in the world than bad. You just have to think of it when drowning. You can't fix everything. Lump a lot together and pray for all!!"

~ Debbie S in Maryland

"I am so, so sorry. I have great respect for those who are empaths (I am not), but no advice on how to buffer yourself. Perhaps it's time to unplug and distance - take a sabbatical to recharge. You can only do so much. Your various roles and activities certainly put you in the path of receiving the tough news from strangers and family alike. Taking a break might help. Be kind to yourself. You deserve peace of mind."

~ Melanie W in Maryland

"I offer prayers to them and place their names in the prayer book at church."

~ Debbie R in Maryland 

"You are so RIGHT ... it does get overwhelming, BUT I don't have an answer of how to change it. Because changing it would be changing WHO YOU ARE!! Once when I was in the midst of an unbelievable situation, one of my friends asked how I could just 'take a day off for me' (such as sit in a corner, turn off the phone, and read for an hour). My reply was, IF I DIDN'T, I would be so drained, I would not be any good for anyone. It NEVER changed the scenario, but I felt slightly renewed and could continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on. SO, no answers, sorry."

~ joanne in new york

"You are NOT alone! It seems like everyone we know has problems and it does get overwhelming. Even just listening takes a toll on us. We do our best to help people - but it takes a toll on our well-being. We can be there for friends and family, but to be there all the time is draining. 

I am afraid for me but especially for my kids and grandkids. What kind of world will we leave behind? I am terrified at the political tone: the narcissism and not caring about people, the opposite of empathy that some of our politicians display. The hatred among people is scary to me.

Just know you are not alone. Please keep sharing in your column - you help us and hopefully, we can help you! You always speak your truth - keep doing that! WE need that validation! Thank YOU for all you do for us by writing your column."

~ Karen R in Maryland

"Being an empath is a blessing and a curse. As a holistic practitioner, it is helpful for me to tap into a patient's pain whether it is a human or animal, to actually sense what that patient needs. Unfortunately, as empaths, we can take on that pain - physical or emotional. So I always put on my Glinda the Good Witch Pink Bubble of Light to protect me from all negative vibes before leaving the house. (And, of course, walk around with a few crystals in my pockets, lab coat, and bra when needed!) Sometimes there are just not enough crystals or bubbles to protect us from certain pain!

Death takes a toll on all of us, and makes us see life in a different perspective. I think most of your snippeteers understand what you've been through, and some are going through the same thing.

We have angel guides and nature realm spirits that help us. And when we tap into that, I think it helps to get through these shitty human experiences, and dealing with physical issues.

Sending love, light and bubblewrap to all in this year of the Green Dragon. May we all heal together."

~ jeanie m in massachusetts

"Great article. Don't quite know the answer. This does make me think about the things you wrote."

~ Jacqueline V in Maryland

"Go to Jesus and pray without ceasing! Read His word daily and He will give you peace!!"

~ Lisa P in Maryland

"I understand completely because I also have been given a great deal of empathy ... sometimes a gift and sometimes a curse! Right now you are more overwhelmed than typically because your heart is broken [over Paula] and there is nothing leftover to give. Focus on filling your cup with good things to help in your healing: sunshine, healthy foods, exercise, laughter. (Watch Leanne Morgan on Netflix!) I love you immensely and am giving you permission to take a break right now. It will not always feel this way!"

~ Barb F in Maryland

"Talk about hitting home with your message!! In response to how to deal / handle it, I wish there was an easy answer! I arrived in Puerto Rico to visit my brother for a quick weekend, and contemplated canceling when we got my daughter’s cancer diagnosis. So, I’ll regroup, release some negative energy, and enjoy family and nature for these few days.

Also, I have been an avid shell collector (born and raised Floridian) for most of my life and have an embarrassingly huge collection. My daughters asked me what to do with them when I’m gone. I said, give them to the people who come to my funeral, and ask them to return them back to the sea.

I felt like your snippet today was telling my story, so here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to bring a bag of those beautiful shells to the local beach, and put them where they will be found. Hopefully, that person will feel the joy of finding it just like I did when I originally added it to my collection! This seems just like lightening my 'load,' you know? Maybe I’ll do it whenever I feel down or overburdened, but like life, there will be more! More shells, more problems to handle.

Keep your chin up, and thank you for your SNIPPETS!! You are appreciated."

~ Love, Louise F in Port St. John, Florida

"Take a long slow breath. Does not the Bible tell us how to pray? For God knows what you want, what you need, before you ever ask for it. Yes, our prayer lists are longer each day and it is too much. Breathe and have confidence in Him, for He knows all that you need. Simply pray The Our Father - you do not need to add in all the details. They are already known.

Listen to those who need to unburden themselves, with a sympathetic ear, but let it pass through you directly to God. Think of yourself as merely a connector. My brain does not have the capacity to even remember my prayer list, it is so very long. So, mentally I pass it along as I hear it: 'Here is another one, Lord.' I earnestly want Him to help whoever it is, with whatever it is, with all of my heart and soul. I trust He hears and will strengthen, heal, and help them. I think of myself as a sounding board, an amplifier, a messenger.

I have added you to that ever-increasing list in my head. And yes, you are on that list multiple times and God knows this. He will help you, but not because I asked Him to - I have merely amplified your request. Release yourself, throw it up to God. As I recite The Our Father every day (sometimes three times a day), in my mind and heart I am spring-boarding that seemingly endless prayer list. Sometimes I'll say, 'Lord, add Suzanna to that list again.'

He knows who and what I am praying for. It is not like I am not praying for each person if I haven't verbally spoken each name - I am praying for them. But it would take me all day if I prayed individually for everyone on my list and then added in the world's troubles. It is impossible! God knows who, what, where, when, why ... I am running with that. You need to do the same. Just some jumbled advice from one muddled friend that truly cares."

~ Geri in Delaware

"We can all do only the best we can for others, but we also need to take care of ourselves. We are all struggling in some ways and that is life, but I am grateful I am still alive.

I love all of your SNIPPETS and always look forward to them on Fridays."

~ Phyllis in Maryland

"Faith is indeed a journey ... a seed we are sometimes blessed with by the way we have been raised; some discover it on their own. Though my faith in God is deep, it’s my trust in God that seems to falter.

I, too, am empathetic. A word sometimes I have seen as a badge, a great gift, something everyone should want to aspire to. Empathy is a cross we are challenged to carry. Because it can be so overwhelming, it forces us to trust God.

As we are all challenged and everyone carries their crosses (empathetic people feel they are carrying the team's crosses!), I would venture a guess that God has given empathy to people to learn they can’t take it all on and must turn it over to The Big Guy: lists of prayer intentions, news events, celebrations, deaths, etc.

One prayer that will always work is that of St. Francis: 'Make me an instrument of your peace ...' I think that will check all the boxes, and God, in his infinite wisdom and power, will somehow know all the other prayers in our hearts and in His way make sense of them all.

Thanks for all your inspiration and thought-provoking columns. You use these beautiful gifts and talents so well."

~ XO, Susan W in Massachusetts

'Oh my fellow Libra Empath. We carry the weight of the world. The heaviness is palatable in your words. At 53, I am still learning how to manage it all. I have to 'people' less often and recharge frequently. I’ve had to let go of relationships / friendships that no longer serve me (God, that sounds so selfish). But, you have to. You also have to lower expectations of those around you. You already do all the right things. Maybe you need a winter renovation with your toes in the sand OR we could run off to Tuscany and Thelma & Louise it?!!!

You’ve got this, my Dear! One hour at a time. Would we really want to be less caring, thoughtful, cerebral, emotional, spiritual or empathetic? I think not. Today, just for today, maybe your 'give-a-damn' is busted. (Play some JoDee Messina. Practice self-care like an at-home facial, watch a romantic comedy. Also, don’t fret over the ever-growing prayer list. You can lump everyone together and God knows who needs what."

~ Cheers Bella, Huge hugs, Angelina in Maryland

"I am here crying over your pain. At least I know there are others like me. We're empaths. When anyone is hurt, I literally feel their pain. I felt so much pain when my father was sick. It was horrible when he had surgery - yes, I was afraid, but I had more physical pain. When my kids got hurt, I had to hide it, but I wanted to cry over their pain - I felt it.

I have difficulty with crowds, I feel pain, happiness, excitement, etc. - and it's not mine. I'm overly emotional. I cry over the weirdest things: first 3 notes of a sad song, a short video of an animal in pain. I hate the news, All the craziness, the sadness and pain. I cry over TV shows, even when there's nothing emotional - it is because I see into the characters. 

I also have foreseen things ... usually a feeling ... but I have had vivid dreams. I forsee good things, too. I've had dreams of friends and families' pregnancies, marriages, etc.

So, you're not the only one with this fear and pain, welcome to The Empathy Club. I hope you start to feel better soon. It's even rougher when your feelings are raw. Much love and hugs to help you through this."

~ Karan A in Maryland