You have that specific friend who, as soon as you take a photo of the two of you or in a group, grabs the phone and quickly zooooms into her face to see how she looks. Then 99% of the time asks you to delete the photo and take another one.

Or - you are that person, or I am that person, and/or most of us are those people who consistently say that we dislike having our photos taken.

Then that friend or another will say how good you look in a photo - how you are so photogenic, that you "always looks good." Yet you won't - and cannot - believe that. It is simply untrue! You know how you look in photos: like a cow, like a hag, like a witch, a pig. I look rough, wrinkly, I look drunk, tired, I look haggard ... OMG I look like hell! And I have llama hair!

The comments we make about ourselves are nothing short of ridiculous: about our witchy hair, our clothing malfunctions, our dumb expressions, or that at least we could have applied lip gloss first. Oh, and the ever-present I LOOK FAT!!

And your opinion never matches anyone else's thoughts. OH STOP!! the friend will say. Your friends, your kids, your spouses, do not want to hear you berate yourself. (After all, you wouldn't speak to them that way.)

POV ... point of view. Why is our POV of ourselves so harsh? Yet our POV of our friends so kind?

Why can we not see ourselves how others do? Why do we negate their nice comments and compliments. Why?

We ask friends to "take down" the "unflattering" photos of ourselves on social media or we delete the ones we don't like off of our friend's phone.

Self-image is a topic that would sink quite deeply into a psychologist's couch, based on our upbringing, past hurts, early family life, mental health, personality traits, anxieties, traumatic experiences during our formative years ... all of which play crucial roles and have left lasting imprints in our psychological realms.

And without playing Dr. Snippet here, and not negating any serious reasons such as that list above caused ... couldn't we start with just one simple step of being nicer to ourselves? Could we begin by simply looking at a photo of our face and loving ourselves? No critiquing anything about it.

Could we practice baby steps of acceptance? Could we attempt to change our POV - just a smidge?

"Congrats to taking some time off ... sometimes we just need some down time to fill the well again - and clearer thinking always follows to do your next project. Congrats again!" 

~ Pat P in Maryland

"Your article says exactly how I have been feeling since I lost my daughter, Tina, to cancer in April. I work two part-time jobs to be with people. I'm cleaning my house, getting rid of so much. Yet I feel like I'm going through the motions. My friend planned a luncheon for Tina with her close friends. I plan to go to Connecticut next May to have a service and bury her with her dad. How do I continue with this emptiness in my heart? Thanks for a great article." 

~ God Bless you, Deborah N in Maryland

"Sounds exactly like the place I've been residing in for the last few weeks. I don't like it. There's no plan. There's nothing to look forward to. Day after Day. I finally realized that it's something I go through once a year - a side effect of my stupid allergies and these past few weeks have been brutal! The only advice I have for these periods is to simply put one foot in front of the other, knowing that this too shall pass ..."

~ Peace, Melody

"Good for you for taking some time off! I know what you mean about needing something new. The older I get the more I realize you have to be good to yourself. I, too, feel uninspired some days. I think it’s because I know the older I get the more things will change. I just tell myself one day at time."

~ Maria in Maryland

"Loved this one. It spoke to me. I am always thinking, What should I do now?'"

~ Kathy H in Maryland

"I got laid off, once again, at age 70. I saw an ad for an Experienced Nurse Fair and thought I certainly qualified for the 'experienced' part by age alone! Went for the interview, got the job, and became a part-time hospice nurse. I felt I found what I wanted to be when I 'grew up.' That was 10 years ago and I have people ask me when will I retire. I say, WHY? I love what I do and work 2-3 days. So YES, change can occur at any time and be brought about for a variety of reasons. Mine was due to a lay-off, but by choice is a valid reason also. So good luck in whatever path you follow, but at your own pace, please continue to snippet."

~ Joanne in New York

"This is Sr. Dolly just checking in. I am now 92 years old, slowing down but still alive in what’s happening."

~ Dolly G in Maryland

"I've been there, done that. When David and I first stopped our business ... I had no inkling what to do; I was kinda lost until he ... got me a camera and Purely Inspired by Karan was born. Then came my first grandchild. I fell in love all over again. I took care of him five days a week ... enjoyed almost every minute. Then he went to Pre-K ... I was a bit lost again. So I got plants (again); I'm up to around 80 now.

Then three more grandkids came. I'm in heaven double time. I'm dreading when they go to preK. I think about what I'll do when all of them are in school and they come over only to visit. I'm so used to being a caregiver, what can possibly take the place of watching these beautiful babies grow? I know there will be a period of loss, but that is the way of life, isn't it? I will find something, even if it's to become the craziest plant lady.

I hope you find yourself again, those times in-between can be rough but you'll get through. Try making a list of various things: do you like flowers and gardening, houseplants, animals (volunteer at a shelter to play with those beautiful creatures), photography. Do you like history, exercise, etc. Try out a few to see if you like them. Take your time. You can reinvent yourself for each season if you want. Good luck. (I hope you don't stop Snippets though.)"

~ Karan A in Maryland

"Your column really hit home with me today. I am going into my last year of teaching- I am ready to retire as I face my 40^th year! I am trying to figure out where do I go from here. I still have my oldest granddaughter with me and I love that. I will need to bring in some income so I need to find a part-time job - preferably where I can work from home. It is exciting but scary. I want to travel, visit family and friends, volunteer and find new hobbies or things to do. I know I can't just sit - that's not me! I have the year start figuring it out."

~ Karen R in Maryland

"I feel ya! The husband left, my son went off to college, I retired, and suddenly there was no one to care for, no deadlines to meet, no pressure to complete projects. I took the time to do some home renovations and spent my days volunteering for all manner of things figuring I would find my new niche. It wasn't until a friend badgered me into accepting a part-time job that I found my new calling. I went to work for a funeral home as a hostess. Everyone was stunned - so different from everything I had ever done and how would this work with my out-loud personality? But, for me, it was a no pressure job (even easier than my volunteer jobs), with a flexible schedule, different every day, and the added bonus of helping others - being there for them at their worst moments. Who knew? It kept me busy until the first grandbaby arrived, and then my new calling began.

Take all the time you need to just be. We don't seem to allow ourselves enough time to actually take a breath. The next step will surprise you when it shows up. Just be open to any and all possibilities and don't be afraid to do something you would never imagine yourself doing. Good luck."

~ Melanie W in Maryland

"Truthfully, I’d like to be Maia [pictured below] … living her best life. I feel this deeply in my soul at present. I left a practice of 27 years for a restart but am not loving where I’ve landed. Do I spend $15K to finish a degree to take a significant pay decrease and drive 2 hours a day to teach? Jesus, take the wheel. I think your plan Q should be life coaching! You give amazing life lessons regularly!"

~ Angie in Maryland



Let's be like Maia here. She's simply smiling for the camera. She feels beautiful. She's not thinking about how she looks, if her lipstick is crooked, or if she looks heavy. She just IS. She lives simply, poses for photos, and plays with her ball.



There may be someone who will find fault in you,

your life, your words ...

but don't let that someone be you.