|
Here's what I know ... we are allowed our feelings. When we have been challenged in life with a tough situation our emotions peak high: disappointment, sadness, hurt, heartbreak, fear, anger.
We hear friends and family say, "Oh, but it could have been much worse." ... "Oh, you are lucky this and that didn't happen."
It is true that whatever bad situation we encounter, "someone always has it worse." Still, that does not mean your situation was not bad, was not fearful, did not affect you emotionally, and didn't hurt. It does not mean you must be forced to have neutral feelings over it.
Our emotions are our emotions. They are REAL.
My 15-year-old grandson broke his pinkie finger this week in a football game. Could it have been worse? Sure! It could have been a broken arm or a leg or a collarbone that prevented him from finishing the football and baseball seasons. But did it still hurt him? Yes.
These thoughts are coming off a HELLUVA October to date, in that our town, neighborhood, and townhouse in North Redington Beach, Florida, was hit hard by Hurricane Helene. That bitch flooded, muddied, and ruined walls in our foyer, two closets, and garage, and totaled our two cars; then she had the nerve to cancel Hubs and my 33rd wedding anniversary / 65th birthday 2-week trip to Europe! We were very much anticipating a trek together through Amsterdam, London, and Sardinia, Italy (to visit my famiglia).
Does my head know and realize that others in all of the beach towns between Clearwater Beach and St. Pete Beach - and in the oh-so-poorly-battered Asheville, North Carolina, lost EVERYTHING? Possessions, clothes, sentimental items, entire homes, and some of them, their lives? Awful. Tragic. Heartwrenching. Sickening. Devastating.
I do know - absolutely.
Does my head know and realize that a partially ruined home, some mud, two cars, ripped off aluminum siding, and a European vacation is not as important as the catastrophe it wreaked on humans?
I do know - absolutely.
Yet was I still sad and heartbroken over the mess the hurricane caused to our beautiful town? Was I still angry we lost two cars? Was I still miffed our walls and insulation and carpet had to be ripped up and now repaired? Was I still highly disappointed to unravel our trip it took months to plan and instead fly to a "war zone" on the west coast of Florida to clean up a muddy flooded house?
Yes, yes, yes, and yes - I still felt those emotions ... even though we were spared enormous damage to our home - comparatively.
POV / Point of View is beneficial to adopt when we suffer with anything, snippeteers. Our heads know "it could have been worse." Our heads know "at least we are alive." Our heads know "stuff doesn't matter." Our heads know, "We got off lightly."
Yet our hearts feel differently. I promise you, snippeteers, it was not fun to witness the aftermath of a major hurricane ... it was a highly emotional experience. I cried all the way through the week we were there. I cried when I got home.
Then, fear took over as Hubs, our son Matt, and I hightailed it out of Florida before Hurricane Milton hit our town - again. It was not amusing to see our town destroyed - it was horrible. It was not enjoyable to watch our home's walls and carpet being ripped out, the aluminum siding in our group of townhomes lying around the neighborhood. It was certainly no picnic to clean up mud, suck up and sweep out water, toss out items, and watch two ruined vehicles being towed away. Nor watch the accumulation of our neighbors' lives placed outside on the curb --- to be trashed.
And this almost feels stupid to feel this and voice it here. (I can hear the mocking - "Oh poor little Suz & Kenny didn't get to take a European vacation!"), but still ... I felt it anyway. I woke up on my October 13th birthday feeling down and blue because I should have been waking up in London. I forced myself out of the crappy mood and went out with Hubs to enjoy an upbeat church service and a pleasant afternoon on a sunny autumn day with family & friends at a local country brewery - and it was good.
My sister-in-law Rosemarie sent me the following quote that morning with her happy birthday greeting; it is something her mom used to say. I adopted it as my mantra for the day:
"Don't be disappointed about what you can't do.
Be excited about what you can do!"
Please know, snippeteers, I am not seeking post-hurricane-related sympathy here - it is what it is. Hubs and I managed it; we're fine. (Buried under mounds of 4 insurance claims paperwork! But fine.) Cars, walls, carpet, stuff, and aluminum siding can be replaced. Trips can be rescheduled. Europe isn't going anywhere. Towns can be rebuilt.
I am merely validating, snippeteers, that when YOU feel highly-charged emotions over something negative that happened to you - IT IS OKAY TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL. You have that right. (and others should not try to "yeah ... but" you and negate your emotions.) It doesn't mean you're a big cry-baby or whiner. It means you're a real human being with real emotions.
Your mantra for the week ...
"My emotions. My feelings. My right."
| 
