We just finished living through that foggy week between Christmas and New Year's Day when we don't know what day it is. (Let's pretend today is SNIPPETS Friday.) We're coming down from the "festive high" of Christmas and facing the end of a year and all those false notions we stick in our heads about beginning a new one (when actually, today is just the next day with new numbers).
If you have kids, they're off from school and sports and your family's regular schedule is askew. If you work, you and your coworkers might have been "in the office" all week, yet no one is actually getting much done, except polishing off the rest of the Christmas cookies and chocolates while promising themselves they'll start dieting today.
I had the strangest new year's eve ever in my 62 years - by myself and without party plans. Since Wednesday evening, I have been "holed up" in my beach house on the Jersey Shore solo - coughing and sniffling - yep, with the post-Christmas-family-gathering "symptoms" which many of you and others are experiencing everywhere.
But I am strangely okay. (Although it's quite odd not to see or talk to people). I've been busy writing, designing event flyers, piddling around the house, texting, playing Rummikub online with a few friends, and selecting groceries on Instacart. (Is there a better invention than THAT??? Someone bringing us groceries!) I've watched lots of movies and TV shows.
I never have this much unstructured free time. :D I'm taking it - because I know it's temporary.
I didn't care about staying in on New Year's Eve. Not only is my heart still in grief mode over my Mamma Gina, I didn't feel well enough to "ring in" the new year. And, of course, I can't be spreading cooties to anyone.
My new HAPPY NEW YEAR tiara sat on the table. My pup Lupini curled up in front of the fireplace on his soft blankie in his bed. Happy New Year texts came in from my siblings, kids, and Italian cousins in Sardinia - and it didn't feel festive at all. Just a Friday night. It's okay.
I didn't focus on the fact that I am alone - that's temporary. I didn't focus on the fact that Lupini and I can't go for walks or go look at the beach as we like to do together - as crappy, dreary, cloudy and foggy has been the daily weather. That's temporary, too. The sun will shine eventually. The fog will lift.
Never have I not stayed up or gone out someplace to ring in the new year, yet last night I went to sleep at 10:30 for some needed rest. When I woke up to use the bathroom, I looked at my phone - it was 12:00 A.M. EXACTLY.
Suddenly, I heard the fireworks begin - the town sets them off from a barge in the ocean about 12 blocks up. Usually from our third floor balcony, we can see them fine, yet nothing showed through the cloudy drizzly night - not a flicker ... only the BOOM! BANG! CRACKLE! over and over until the grand finale. Happy New Year and goodnight again.
Snippeteers, sometimes we just have to wait through the fog. Whether it's our health to feel better, our adjustment to losing a parent, for something in our world to shift into a better opportunity, or for something to heal. The "fog" can make it feel dreary and crappy and cloudy - but that's temporary.
That's the fog of confusion, the fog of illusion.
I knew the fireworks were still there even though I couldn't see them behind the fog.
Hang in there. Imagine what's on the other side of your fog. The sun will shine eventually on whatever feels unclear to you. The fog will lift. BOOM!
