This is quite an important message, snippeteers. In the aftermath of suddenly losing another lifetime friend, Cindy Blackburn (jewelry artist extraordinaire), I urge you ... when you say you would like to - or you are going to - get together with someone ... THEN FRIGGIN' GET TOGETHER.

I am not writing this column to gain sympathy on Cindy's loss - not about me here - this is about those overused cliches we say and hear constantly about how life is short, life is not promised, and that "we just never know." Yada yada yada.

Right and true.

Cindy was supposed to be meeting her brothers for brunch two Sundays ago and after she was two hours late and not replying to her phone, one of her brothers drove to her house. And there she was - gone already to heaven. :-( Sadly, she and I were waaay overdue in getting together, although we kept saying we should.

And that's that.

It was another hard-knock SECOND lesson about actually getting together with someone when I'm mouthing off that I want to. Back a bunch of years when I was in the middle of planning our high school reunion, I had finally been reunited (by phone) with a close high school bud, John Langrehr. We had said to each other, Let's get together, but we didn't plan it. John died within two weeks of being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So did I get to see him again? YES - in his casket at his funeral. Regretful through and through.

Snippeteers, let's have zero regrets after someone crosses over, huh? Whoever is in your heart and on your mind right now whom you want to schedule to see, dine out with, walk with, have coffee with, party with, go on a trip with, shop with, visit, call, text, email, or write a letter - DO IT.

There's no yada yada yada about this serious topic - plan it today.

2 of my top fave pediatric oncology nonprofits:

Emma Claire Foundation - established in honor of Emma, a granddaughter of my dear friend, Tina DeFranco. Emma lost her battle at age 2. She was a twin.

Cool Kids Campaign (CKC) - an organization in which my husband Ken and I have been involved with since its inception in 2006.



Money raised by the Emma Claire Foundation assist families at the Hopkins Pediatric Oncology Center in Baltimore, Maryland, with financial help, birthdays, funerals, research, and Christmas wish lists for the children in the family. It is run by Emma's mom, Francesca DeFranco Webster. In July, she conducted a Christmas in July campaign. With the guidance of the Child Life & Child Development Program at Hopkins, they delivered over 400 toys to Hopkins' Children's Center.

Cool Kids' two clubhouses (Towson MD and Huntersville NC) provide social and emotional activities for kids with cancer and their siblings/families: movie nights, seasonal parties, Smile Celebration end-of-chemo and birthday parties, online free tutoring, parent support groups, weekend camp, and more. Clubhouses provide opportunities for families to vacation for free in CKC's condos in Myrtle Beach, SC, and Lewes Beach, DE. CKC's third location is in Franklin, TN The org's Cancer Fears Me product line includes T-shirts, chemo caps, baseball caps, blankets, tumblers, and temporary tattoos.

"As I'm reading your column, I would add ... when someone is grieving, the best advice I can give is to always ask HOW she or he is doing instead of TELLING someone how great YOU think they are doing. People honestly do not know what to say. I am vocal with my responses and honest if they ask how I am doing. When people say, You're doing great, I want to scream NO!!!! I'm drowning inside. This is all for show!!!

Just because someone carries it well doesn't mean it isn't heavy. It is hard for those who have no idea what we spouses are going through. I know they mean well.

Missing my husband very much. It's not real yet, but reality is smacking me in the face nightly - the hardest part of my day."

 ~ Cathy C in Maryland

"Thanks for remembering all of us teachers in your prayer flares! I am happy to say this is my 40th and FINAL year of teaching ... 177 teaching days to go! I so look forward to more family time, traveling, and seeing where my next chapter takes me!"

~ Karen R in Maryland





sometimes things need to be unplugged

to function again ... including you