Greetings!

Almost two years ago George Pickett asked me to create a course for teachers that would be offered online through Dominican College. When I asked, “on what?”, he said, “On anything you want”. It took over a year but it’s done and online, “Reversing the trend from Narcissism to Compassion”.   Click Here for Course Description

Several months of google research and interviews later I’ve come to the conclusion, shared by many, that there is a trend in this country toward narcissism and a decline in empathy and compassion. The University of Michigan conducted a student survey over a ten-year period and found that narcissism had increased by 100% while empathy declined by 40%. One need only watch or read the news to reach the same conclusion. 
I wrote “Off the Couch into the War for Hearts and Minds” for two reasons. First, to share what I’d learned over fifteen years and twenty visits to Afghanistan. Second, to encourage others to get off the couch and become proactive in aiding those less fortunate. Why? Because it’s the most rewarding work I’ve ever done and likely to be the same for those who do. I also discovered by working with volunteers that givers lead more fulfilling lives and are happier than those who aren’t.

Bruce Wodhams, former principal of Springhill Elementary School for twenty-six years, and I, have devoted a considerable amount of time learning how empathy and compassion are taught in schools. These character traits are learned by the way, not genetically determined. Studies have failed to establish that empathy and compassion are present in newborns, although some newborns have been observed reaching out for others nearby. At least it looked like they were. 

What does this have to do with Afghanistan? My goal from the outset was for us to serve as a link (tie) between cities here and villages in Afghanistan. The principle challenges remain finding people who care about the welfare of others, earning their trust, and persuading the compassionate to contribute to the projects and programs we’ve undertaken.
Trust in Education and every aid organization are totally dependent upon people who care. Currently there aren’t enough who do and the numbers apparently are declining. What if anything can we do? 

We simply need to raise more compassionate children. They will eventually realize that the greatest rewards in their life come from the impact they have on the lives of others. This discovery is not self-evident, particularly during the formative years, when children are evaluated and rewarded based upon how well they compete against others.

The purpose of this email is to let you know that I will be sending newsletters discussing this topic along with updates on our work in Afghanistan. Reversing the trend is critical, lest we become a survival of the fittest, narcissistic, unhappy nation. Unhappy? Yes. We were once ranked the 3 rd happiest country in the world. We’re now eighteenth, having slipped four positions from the year before. I'm convinced the fundamental difference between the happy and those who aren't depends upon whether one embraces me'ism or we'ism.

I know I’m writing to the choir. Who else would have read this far? If we can fund and build two schools in Afghanistan, including one for girls, we can certainly turn the hearts and minds of children away from narcissism and persuade them to embrace compassion and empathy. How tough can that be? Little if any funding is required. It will however require parents, teachers, and communities to work together. 

The latest news from Afghanistan is that all but 90 of our 500 boxes of donations have been distributed into the camps. These will be distributed Friday. Basir has identified another location for a computer library and is preparing a budget. This will be our ninth library. Utilization of the eight libraries continues to be over 700 children a day. 

It’s too soon to judge the “tentative agreement” with the Taliban, without knowing any details. It is disconcerting, however, that we characterize anything as an “agreement", even tentative, without first running the terms by the Afghan government. As you may be aware, the negotiations with the Taliban have been conducted without including the Afghan government. The Taliban insisted that Afghan government representatives be excluded from the meetings claiming that its members are "puppets of the United States".

 I’m also suspect of any agreement emanating from a room where women are not allowed. If history has taught us anything, women hold up more than half the sky. Certainly at least half.

It's a New Year and we have new resolves and challenges. Hearts and minds are won slowly, one at a time, which is why we must all be engaged.

"Miles to go before we sleep"...


Budd




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