• Physical Health (October)
• Family and Friends (November)
• Your Outlook on Your Professional Future (December)

• Family and Friends Have Less Access to the Employee
• When Able to Attend Events, the Employee May Not Always be Their Best Self

1. Exhaustion can mean saying "Yes" to fewer events and activities. Longer work hours means less time to socialize or attend important events. They may also guard their time because they have such an embedded, crucial recovery routine (to heal from work) that they don't dare risk deviating from it.
2. Avoiding co-workers by working "off" hours. Some people also manage a toxic workplace by doing what they can to avoid co-workers. This could mean going into work before the workday officially begins, staying late, or going in on the weekends. While this approach can be productive, it could also means less time with friends and family who have more standard schedules.

1. They're physically exhausted. They don't have the physical energy to fully participate in events, whether active or just a cocktail party. They might decide to stay for shorter amounts of time, mingle less, and find that plush armchair in the corner too relaxing to leave.
2. They're emotionally exhausted. Spending so much of their emotional resources at work may mean that time off is spent recovering, rather than exerting. This can translate to less emotional space for themselves (for instance, less vigilance in combating negative self-talk) and less space to be a support for family and friends. And sometimes the "version" that shows up is more snappy, depressed, anxious, annoyed, impatient, insecure, resigned, frustrated, sad, angry and disappointed than they would like to be.
3. If They Survive Work by Making Themselves Small, It Can be Difficult to Bounce Back. As a survival skill, some people make themselves small, in order to cope with a caustic work environment. What do I mean by "small"? Some folks disengage to preserve emotional resources. They decide to take a step back, refrain from rocking the boat, folding their wings in for protection, rather than spreading them. This approach makes sense to survive the day. But the hard part comes in flipping that switch to turn the complete self "back on" after work. Over time, some people forget to flip that switch and find the "smaller" version of themselves trickle down into our personal lives. They are a version of themselves that is less animated, shares fewer ideas, tells fewer jokes, is more likely to opt out of social events, and is generally more guarded.

1. Manage Expectations. Ask yourself: Is this a visit or a vacation? Have you been looking forward to this trip for months? Sounds like a vacation. Did you put off searching for a flight until the last minute and take a swig of wine before you clicked "Purchase"? If so, this sounds like a family obligation a.k.a. a visit. Be realistic with yourself about what you want and what you can realistically can get out of this trip. If it's a visit, you may have fun, but don't expect the relief and rejuvenation that can come with a vacation.
2. Don't Just Pack Your Clothes, Bring Your Routine Too. You work long hours, but it's bearable because you 1. go to SoulCycle three times a week; 2. meditate every morning; 3. spend hours in your workshop or 4. always pair Netflix with a good Bourbon. Sometimes we visit family and revert back to our former, emo selves. Sleeping in late. Making meals out of Cheezits and beer. Or just plain ol' hiding. The setting may have changed, but don't forget about the routines that keep you happy and sane. Identify gyms, meditation centers and spas close to where you'll be. Bring your arts and crafts with you. And share that nice bottle of Bourbon with your family.
3. Set Clear Boundaries. If certain topics are off limits, let your family know what they are and why. Decide ahead of time what you'll do if those boundaries aren't respected. A walk? A trip to the movies? Phone a friend?
4. Try an extra Therapy session or Coaching. If you feel completely overwhelmed by the holiday season, consider an extra session with your therapist or a couple of coaching sessions with us to help you tease out the issues, your feelings, and your options.