The Newmans remind couples that conflict strengthens our faith; encourage couples to plan a picnic for two in one of the area parks; remind couples of the importance of life insurance; share information about the Kingdom Men Rising movie; share a great Spring dessert recipe; spotlight a love song that is a remake of an old favorite; and, share plenty date ideas!
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Conflict Strengthens Our Faith
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Take two selfish people from different backgrounds, with different personalities, add some bad habits, a bunch of different expectations, and throw in the challenges of everyday married life and you have all the makings for
conflict
. Sherman is from Roxboro (rural town) and I’m from Raleigh (the capital city). He loves Carolina football, Mountain Dew, and chicken wings. I love getaways to five-star hotels, an occasional Mimosa, and Chicken Bryan with goat cheese, lemon butter, and sundried tomatoes. We often joke that we’re champagne and Kool-Aid….all the makings for conflict….but, God!
Couples argue about money, how to discipline their children, spending too many hours at work, whose turn it is to focus on their personal goals, not sharing the responsibility of household chores, whose year it is to decide how the tax refund will be spent, etc. James 4: 1-3 says, “what causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something and don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on pleasures”. This scripture highlights the arguments we have related to wanting more possessions, more money, higher status, or more recognition. When having these types of arguments, we should
yield to the Spirit
(So, I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Galatians 5:16), and trust God to give us the gifts He wants us to have and refuse to seek “stuff” when it jeopardizes our relationships.
When having all arguments, we need to remember that we’ve been charged to “live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). We cannot avoid disagreements, but we must do our best to manage them in a manner that doesn’t do irreparable harm to our relationships.
When looking to resolve conflict we should:
1)
Know, accept, and adjust to differences
- he/she gets to be him/her, and you get to be you.
2)
Work on defeating selfishness
- we all want what we want, how we want it, but it doesn’t work like this in marriage. This is why I dislike the saying “happy wife, happy life” …. everyone’s happiness is equally important. Instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last and be willing to give up our will for the will of another to experience oneness.
3)
Be willing to pursue peace
- set aside your own hurt, anger, and bitterness to work toward resolution and to get back to a place of peace and love. Be the bigger person, the more mature person, by initiating the resolution to the conflict.
4)
Confront your spouse with love, grace, and tactfulness
- when confronting your spouse check your motivation and assess whether your words will lead to healing or further conflict. Check your attitude. Your attitude should be, I love you…. I want you to know how I feel (say what you have to say) …. I love you. Consider whether it’s the best time and place for the discussion; consider what else is going on in their lives at that time; and, assess your ability to accept whatever response/feedback you receive from them.
5)
Ask for and grant forgiveness, quickly
- your ability to do this reflects your relationship with God (see Matthew 6: 14-15). Forgiveness means letting it go for good and for the good of your marriage.
6)
Return a blessing for insult
(1 Peter 3: 8-9)- don’t return evil for evil or insult for insult but bless your spouse. Refuse to retaliate! Again, you are going to have to
yield to the Spirit
…. we can’t do this without the power of the Holy Spirit.
When we seek peace, seek forgiveness, and pursue oneness we will be blessed! Our working through conflict strengthens our faith and strengthens our marriages.
In Love,
Paula and Sherman Newman
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Side Note: Life Insurance
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We recently had a few people we love lose their spouses, prompting us to remind you of
the importance of life insurance. A 2010 LIMRA Household Trends in the U.S. study indicated that only 44% of American citizens have individually purchased life insurance policies.
If you are married, you need an
individually purchased
life insurance policy, not just the one you have on your job. The life insurance policy that you have on your job may end when you change jobs or lose your job. Life insurance protects your spouse and your children from financial destruction. It is difficult enough to deal with the loss of a spouse, but to have to worry about how you will take care of yourself and your children is additional stress that you don’t need when you are grieving a loss.
Life insurance death benefits will provide you the money you need to:
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Pay funeral expenses
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Cover daily living expenses (not that you do not have your spouse’s income)
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Pay off your mortgage (so you don’t have to leave/sell your home) and pay other debts
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Buy diapers and formula; and, pay for childcare if you have pre-school children
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Pay any state or federal estate taxes due
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Pay homeowner’s insurance and taxes; and, pay for house repairs and upgrades (i.e. new roof)
·
Pay for your children’s education
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Allow you to maintain your current lifestyle
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Date Night: Kingdom Men Rising
In Theaters April 29th and 30th, Only
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Kingdom Men Rising
is created as a means for speaking truth into a poorly defined and disoriented culture about the purpose and future of masculinity from the perspective of God’s original design. The hope of
Kingdom Men Rising
is to initiate generations of men to take up the mantle of God’s purpose for masculinity as facilitators of mercy, justice, and faith.
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Strawberry Cheesecake Lush
Ingredients
1 pkg. Golden Oreos (36 cookies)
6 Tbsp. butter, melted
8 oz. softened cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
1 16 oz. container Cool Whip, divided
2 pkgs. (3.4 ounce each) instant cheesecake pudding mix
3 cups milk
3 -1/2 cups sliced strawberries
Directions
Crush the entire package of Oreos, either with a food processor or just place cookies in a gallon sized Ziploc bag and crush them with a rolling pin. When they are fine crumbs, transfer them to a large bowl and mix in 6 Tbsp. of melted butter. Press cookie mixture into a 9x13 pan and refrigerate while you prepare the remaining layers.
Then, beat together 1 cup of powdered sugar, the cream cheese, and 1 cup of Cool Whip. Spread over your cookie layer.
For the next layer, mix together the pudding mix, milk, and another 1 cup of Cool Whip. Spread over the cream cheese layer.
Layer the sliced strawberries on top and spread the remaining Cool Whip on top.
Keep refrigerated until ready to serve.
Prep Time
20 minutes
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Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Farewell Play Tour- Wednesday, May 1
st at 7:30 p.m. at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
Duke Energy Hoopla Hyperspace Party in the Park- Saturday, May 4
th at the NC Museum of Art from 6:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m.,
https://ncartmuseum.org/
Beautiful: The Carole King Musical- Friday, May 10
th at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
Carol Burnett: An Evening of Laughter and Reflection- Friday, May 17
th at 7:30 p.m. at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
JoyFest Gospel Music Festival- Saturday, May 25
th at Carowinds in Charlotte, NC-
https://joyfest.org/
Mark Morris Dance Group- Thursday, June 20
th at 8:00 p.m. at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
JoyFest: Gospel Music Festival- Saturday, July 13
th at King’s Dominion in Doswell, VA-
https://joyfest.org/
Lyfe Jennings- Friday, August 2
nd at 8:30 p.m. at the Cone Denim Entertainment Center- Greensboro, NC,
http://cdecgreensboro.com/
Ringo Starr And His All Starr Band- Tuesday, August 6
th at 7:30 p.m. at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
Backstreet Boys: DNA World Tour- Tuesday, August 20
th at 8:00 p.m. at the PNC Arena,
www.arenaraleigh.org/
The Temptations & The Four Tops- Friday, August 23
rd at the Durham Performing Arts Center,
https://www.dpacnc.com/
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