Charlyne Gelt, Ph.D.
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Member Columnist - Charlyne Gelt, Ph.D.
Kintsugi: Shattered, Not Broken
-Ernest Hemingway
There is a Japanese art called Kintsugi, where craftsmen repair broken pottery with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they highlight them. The piece becomes more beautiful and more valuable because it was broken and repaired.
The question asks: What connects all humans? Words, love, regret, pain, caring, music, even silence itself. Yet in today’s fractured world, how do we connect when there is so much tension tearing us apart? Perhaps by silencing the noise, by letting the heart speak first and the mind follow.
As analyst Robert Johnson observed, “Any repair of our fractured world must start with individuals opening the door to own their own shadow.”
In today’s world, words are everywhere. Some words hurt; some may heal. People make promises, yet those words may never become reality. The saying “actions speak louder than words” remains true. Though words may speak about unity and caring for others, the challenge is putting them into action as part of daily life. Why? Because being there for one another when feeling fragile can strengthen both the giver and the receiver — and even an entire community.
In my practice as a psychologist, I have treated many people over the years who were fragile but not broken. Outwardly, they appeared unshakable because they had faced unspeakable pain, grief, and loss. Unspeakable, but not unfelt. Many carried childhood wounds, abandonment, illness, betrayal, or heartbreak silently inside, becoming “good enough” or playing it safe as a learned coping strategy.
Then comes a breaking point — what I think of as a “Heaven’s Quake.” A moment when life pulls apart the seams we believed were holding us together. As Kareem AbdulJabbar wrote: “Eventually, the world will stick a finger in your seams and pull until something rips… We all have a breaking point.”
Yet breakdown and breakthrough often go hand in hand. The wounds we carry may also become the source of our deepest gifts.
Today, there is growing cultural acceptance around transparency. Public figures now speak openly about depression, addiction, cancer, trauma, anxiety, and therapy in ways that earlier generations often hid in silence. More people are acknowledging that seeking therapy is not weakness, but courage. Transparency can become a form of emotional gold — the willingness to stop hiding the cracks and begin healing through honesty.
The recent film Song Sung Blue offers one example of this emotional journey. Inspired by a true story, it follows Mike and Claire Sardina, a struggling musical duo whose Neil Diamond tribute act brings them connection, meaning, and moments of joy amid personal hardship.
Both characters carry deep wounds. Mike struggles with long-term recovery from alcoholism, sustained by grit and determination. Claire faces catastrophic loss after an accident results in the amputation of her foot, followed by depression and suicidal despair. Yet her suffering eventually becomes a turning point. Supported by love, therapy, grief, and human connection, she slowly begins to rebuild a sense of meaning and identity.
The film reminds us that healing does not erase loss. Rather, it asks whether suffering can become part of a larger story of resilience.
So what can we do to turn heartbreak into gold?
We begin by acknowledging the cracks instead of hiding them. We allow ourselves to grieve losses honestly rather than pretending we are untouched. We seek help when needed. We pay attention to actions rather than empty promises. We stay connected to others through friendship, therapy, creativity, spirituality, music, or service. We practice compassion toward ourselves as well as others.
Most importantly, we recognize that being shattered is not the same as being broken.
Like Kintsugi pottery, our repaired places may eventually become the most beautiful parts of who we are.
Charlyne Gelt, Ph.D., CGP (PSY22909) is a clinical psychologist who practices in Encino. She leads Women's Empowerment Workshops and Groups that help women learn the tools to move beyond self-destructive relationship patterns. She may be reached at 818.501.4123 or cgelt@earthlink.net. Her website is at www.drgelt.com. Her office address is 16055 Ventura Blvd. #1129 Encino, CA 91436. CINEMA THERAPY BOOK is available on AMAZON
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