On Thursday, June 2nd, the Needham Resilience Network met at the Center for the Heights. This meeting marked continued experience with dialogue, first by creating a “Communications Agreement” for the NRN and then by engaging in a group conversation by employing the elements of the Agreement. This ‘container,’ along with the skill-building you’ve all done over the past few months (e.g., listening for understanding versus persuasion and the SAVE technique) has laid the groundwork for critical upcoming conversations focused on Needham. 



LEARNING AND SKILLS   
                 

A core premise of the NRN is that constructive dialogue can change the world. If we can shift how we have a conversation, we can change the relationship, and in turn, change a community. 

But shifting the dynamics of a contentious conversation isn’t as simple as having good intent. It helps to have guidelines that all parties agree to use and follow. A “Communications Agreement,” co-created by all parties in the dialogue, can do this.. Its goal is to promote listening with resilience and curiosity across differences, to build connection, and to encourage speaking from personal experience. 


Exercise 1: (Large Group Brainstorm) 

Our Communications Agreement 

As a group, we discussed some basic tenants of an NRN communications agreement, and practiced ways of “calling in” and redirecting a conversation when slip-ups occur–because we are all human, and they will occur! Below, please find the agreement created by the Network.

NRN Communications Agreement

  • We will be present both by participating and via regular attendance

  • We can “pass” or “pass for now” if we are not ready or do not wish to respond

  • We will speak one at a time and not engage in side conversations 

  • We will “move up” and “move back”

  • We will respect time frames

  • We will make ‘I’ statements and speak only for ourselves (specify if attempting to represent a group, and even then be wary of characterizing the group as a homogenous entity)

  • We will check our assumptions by asking questions (SAVE - Stories. Actions, Values, Emotions)

  • We will maintain confidentiality

  • In the case of a breach of the agreement, we will ‘call each other back in’ 

  • We will prioritize impact over intent. If an injury occurs, we will pause and acknowledge the harm that’s been done

In addition, participants suggested that we all enter into NRN discussions with an orientation of simple kindness and compassion. They asked for expanded training on how to “call in” and redirect conversations where elements of a communications agreement are breached.


Exercise 2: (Small Groups)

Small groups of three chose between holding dialogue around one of two topics: Economic Differences/Inequality OR Firearms. Groups started by having each participant write their own reflections on three questions:

  1. What is a life experience you’ve had that shaped your perspective or beliefs about [economic difference/inequality OR firearms]
  2. When you think about the topic in Needham, what matters to you most?
  3. In what ways do you experience mixed feelings in this issue, or feel pulled in different directions?

Then, group members answered each of the questions in a round robin, one minute per question. To close, group members took a few minutes to ask each other questions about their responses, drawing on the SAVE model (stories, action, values, emotions) and the NRN Communications Agreement. 


SAWUBONA ……Zulu for “I See YOU” 


Large Group Debrief


After the exercise, we reflected on the dialogue exercise. Below, we summarize some of the takeaways: 

  • Many participants thought the time limits were helpful, offering equity and assurances that each person would have a space for talking, and on the flip side, that time for sharing had an endpoint. While more time might permit more detail and depth, this mimicked the ‘real world’ where you have to respond quickly.

  • Some participants found themselves in groups where everybody shared the same position. They expressed a desire to do a similar exercise with those who have differing opinions.

  • Saving questions for the end of the conversation was difficult. What would it be like to interject questions more frequently? 

  • The opportunity to prepare thoughts ahead of sharing was useful both in prioritizing what was most important and honoring time.

  • A very interesting experience for some members was the feeling that they needed l to ‘pick a side,’ despite not having fully processed their position on the issue, or despite feeling the complexity and multiple perspectives associated with their topic.  

In the future, we will further explore what causes us to feel that we need to choose a side or perspective. We will also continue to prioritize dialogue questions that allow us to identify the complexity of people’s positions and experiences, and grow our muscles as it pertains to holding multiple lenses at once.

The Network seems to have truly embraced the Communications Agreement! We look forward to applying it to conversations held in our larger Needham community as we seek to promote conversations bent on connection and understanding. 



GROUP BIOS

Indian Community of Needham (ICON)

Bala Venkat presented the many facets of ICON, a vibrant group of 175 families, engaged in community endeavors. “ICON is a secular, non-profit organization aimed at celebrating and preserving the culture and heritage of India and surrounding South Asian countries; fostering friendships and unity among community members; advancing the educational, cultural, and charitable interests of the community; and representing the community to the people of Needham, MA, USA and beyond.”

ICON contributes to the Indian communities here in Needham and the US as well as abroad via the sharing of culture (food, dance, performance, books in schools) and community service (donations, covid relief, and participation in Needham town and special events).

Needham Department of Health

Tim McDonald shared about the extensive outreach of the Department of Health here in Needham, including resources devoted to medicine, nursing, mental health challenges, housing issues, environmental concerns, and parenting skills. Tim emphasized the generosity of the town in providing funding for extra clinical personnel during this ongoing challenge of covid, and towards public health generally (compared to towns of similar size). 
More information about the Department of Health can be found in the meeting presentation slide deck as well as on their website: http://www.needhamma.gov/85/Public-Health



COMMUNITY MAPPING

As we bridge to NEEDHAM, we are reviewing our networks and sub-networks or groups to ensure that we’ve included members representing each group in the following categories: 

Identity

Faith Communities

Civic Organizations

Service Organizations 

Town Bodies

Healthcare

Business

Schools

NRN participants will be asked to briefly review these lists between meetings so we can fill any needed gaps as we go forward. 



UPDATES & NEXT STEPS

Please take sign-up opportunities for both quarterly one-to-one check-ins with the co-directors AND months for Group Bios. 

Keep your eyes peeled as the official NRN Website will launch this summer! Many thanks to NDI for hosting our site. 


Reminder - Calendar and Event Sharing:

One goal of the NRN is to offer a space and platform upon which local groups and organizations can learn about each other’s work, and when useful, amplify it. To that end, we are building a calendar into the website. If you or your group would like to share upcoming events/information, there are two ways you can do it: 


  1. Send Jen the title, date and purpose of your event, along with a rationale about how it relates to NRN (it must be open to the public); and/or
  2. Send us the information prior to a meeting–we will make flyers and circulate the memo through the listserve.



RESOURCES


What We Are Listening to:



Resources Related to Current Events:



Onward!
Nichole Argo (NRN Co-Director) and Beth Pinals (NRN Co-Director)