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I was sitting in a local coffee shop last week, working, minding my business, when I overheard what sounded like a job interview. One candidate. Two interviewers in a professional setting and promising conversation.
Near the end, it shifted. The interviewers started talking about volunteer opportunities. Ways to “get involved.” Ways to contribute to the organization.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it. But what I heard underneath the pleasantries was "we see value in you, as long as you’ll work for free."
This topic came up just last week at the Amplifying Women’s Voices event, where a panel of local accomplished women had a lot to say about saying no and about recognizing when an “opportunity” is just unpaid labor dressed up in exciting language.
As women, we are often the doers. When we prove we can do things, we get asked to do more often without additional compensation and just a smile and a promise that “this will be great for your visibility.”
I’m tired of seeing this over and over again.
Your time, your expertise, your energy has VALUE TODAY.
If an organization genuinely wants what you bring to the table, they’ll make room for you at the table and in the budget, and not in the volunteer section.
You don’t have to earn your way into rooms that should already be open to you.
You might be wondering, what does it look like to stop giving it away?
Here are a few ways I try to lead by example:
When female entrepreneurs I work with are undercharging, I encourage them to charge more and oftentimes that means I pay more, gladly.
When women offer me something for free, I find a way to compensate them anyway.
When a female entrepreneur offers to shift her schedule earlier or later to accommodate my schedule, I decline. I don’t want her bending her boundaries on my behalf.
Every time we ask women to do more for less, we perpetuate the very problem we say we want to solve: the devaluing of women’s work, time, and expertise.
I’ve also gotten clearer about what I will and won’t do without compensation. Every time I say yes without some form of exchange, I’m sending a message about my own value. I refuse to be the one telling myself I’m worth nothing.
There is ONE exception. There are a few volunteer commitments where I choose to give my time, talent, and resources. Those are intentional and they are the exception, not the default.
The difference is that I decided. It was not someone else’s ask. Social pressure didn’t make me do it.
Decide that YOU ARE WORTHY and what you’re worth.
Say it out loud often.
And then, hold the line.
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