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It’s a relentlessly chaotic, messy and confusing world right now.
It doesn’t take long to get consumed by the negative. Scientific research shows that we actually need a ratio of 2.9 positive comments, experiences, or thoughts to fend off the effects of one negative! Yikes!
The good news is that the experts say it is possible to rewire our brains to overcome the negative and cultivate happiness in our lives.
The main driver of happiness is positive emotions. Barbara Frederickson, in her book Positivity, describes the ten most positive emotions as being joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love.
Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, said in his book Authentic Happiness, that we can nurture those positive emotions to create more happiness in our lives by focusing on the things we can voluntarily control.
His Happiness Formula H = S + C + V asserts that our H (Enduring level of Happiness) is equal to our S (Set factors - genetic disposition) plus our C (Circumstances) PLUS our V (the factors under our voluntary control.)
Our (S) set factors can’t be changed, and our world conditions (C) right now are certainly very challenging. However, using Seligman’s formula, we can focus on ways to cultivate our essential positive emotions which will increase our V – and raise our level of happiness.
Read on for 7 ways to up your "happy".
1/START NOTICING WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Happiness is deeply personal and begins inside us. Make the choice to become aware of and notice what brings you joy. I was surprised at how easy this step was as I walked around my neighbourhood simply holding an intention to notice things that made me feel good. In less than 30 minutes, I had delighted at the plants growing in the Community garden, read a plaque on a commemorative bench someone had donated in memory of a loved one and felt happy that the person was loved, admired the speed of the rambunctious Jack Russell Terrier fetching his ball in dog park and noticed with new eyes the beauty of the water and mountains surrounding me.
Action: What makes you happy? Experiment intentionally with ‘noticing’ and journaling every day at least 1 positive experience and/or tell someone else what you notices. Writing down your 'happy things' and/or sharing them will relive them for you and help imbed those positive emotions.
2/ FOSTER CONNECTIONS
Deep social connections are predictors of happiness. Make the intentional choice to deepen your connections to friends, family, neighbours, community. Research says if you have even one happy friend your overall happiness improves by 15%. Reach out and connect with a positive person. Join a group or community that fills your heart with joy.
Action: Think about who could you connect with today. Is there a phone call you could make to an old high school buddy that lives in another city? Is there a conversation you could have with your partner or family member or neighbour? An email you could send to acknowledge someone? A group event you could perhaps drop into?
3/ SPREAD HAPPINESS
Go beyond yourself and get active in spreading joy to others. The act of doing conscious acts of kindness is addictive. It makes us feel good to make others feel good. A short text message, an email, a smile to someone on the street is often all it takes to shift someone’s mood.
Action: Get intentional about making someone else feel good every day.
4/DEVELOP A GRATITUDE ATTITUDE
Start noticing the things (small or big) for which you are thankful. A practice of gratitude establishes a neural groove that will make you feel better. Gratitude expands your capacity for happiness.
Action:
Do a nightly gratitude sign off. Spend a few minutes before you turn out the lights to write down at least 3 things that about that day for which you are grateful. Go to sleep with those positive thoughts. Your gratitude energy will expand overnight as you sleep.
5/ MOVE YOUR BODY
We know the benefits of keeping active from a physical perspective and the mental benefits of moving our bodies are also undisputed. Cardio activity releases feel-good brain chemicals that have been shown to be extremely effective in creating a positive mental state.
Action: Get up and move every day. Can't manage a full-on exercise program? No worries! You will get the mental benefits by simply getting outside and walking for even 15 minutes each day. Or blast your fave tune and dance it out!
6/ TAKE A FOREST BATH
I was delighted to learn the Japanese word “shinrin-yoku” as a way to inspire positive emotions. Shinrin in Japanese means “forest,” and yoku means “bath.” So shinrin-yoku means bathing in the forest atmosphere or taking in the forest through our senses. It is simply being in nature, connecting with it through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. Don’t have a forest nearby? Being out anywhere in nature will have the same effect.
7/ MEDITATE
Cultivating a practice of mindfulness can have huge mental health benefits. Slow down your racing, thinking mind by centering your body, and focusing on your breathing.
Action: If the idea of "meditation" seems too big, think of this as simply spending a few minutes to think about nothing while you focus on breathing deeply. Even a short, mindful 'time out' will quieten your racing mind and calm your soul.
Could you find 3 minutes in your day? In a recent coaching session, my “doing-focused” client agreed to a 1-1-1 practice. 1 time per day, he would intentionally focus on only 1 thing, for 1 minute. Simple. Doable. Effective.
RESOURCES: Books: Positivity by Barbara L. Fredrickson / Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman
photo credit: 2024 Jan Carley "Forest Bathing" at Pacific Spirit Park
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