Hey cherie,
I've had three dogs and two cats in my life, including the two beloved furry ones shown above: Luna, a Russian Blue (and a wee bit of Tabby too) and Sugar aka Shuggs, an American Eskimo-Border Collie, BFF's for 8 months, too short a time for us and for them.
Last week, our Luna (one week short of her first birthday) began to exhibit distinctive behavioral signs of a serious illness and within a few days was diagnosed (via a blood test) with FIP, Feline Infectious Peritonitis, a fatal disease for which there is no cure or treatment at present.
Symptoms include swollen abdomen, anemia, low red and white blood cell counts, liver and kidney damage (elevated enzymes), a change in gait, lethargy, lack of appetite, and seizures. Luna had them all, and tested positive for FIP.
For the last three days of her life, she struggled heartbreakingly with up to four seizures daily. They'd come on suddenly, marked with an initial hiss, leading her to dash about a room blindly as if running for her life pursued by an invisible foe, bumping into things in her path, hitting her head and body against objects and walls, and then throwing her body into convulsions, paws paddling ferociously in the air and emitting painful cries for just under a minute. The seizures were disabling, causing physical and neurological damage from which it took several minutes for her to recover, even to get up and walk, and It was nothing short of heartbreaking to observe.
Our veterinarian diagnosed this terribly tragic and fateful disease, likely transmitted in utero or through fecal matter from shared kitty litter boxes before she arrived at our home.
Though we desperately wanted more time for us together, and more importantly, for her as a kitten just starting out in life, we felt compelled to compassionately end her suffering. Once the disease has reached this level, a cat may survive only a week or so, and the quality of life is unbearable. The fear in our sweet Luna's eyes told us what to do. I'm sure she couldn't understand what would so suddenly compel her body to behave in this way when just days earlier she was a playful energetic purring kitten who loved to curl up in our arms or share the sunshine with Shuggs.
We will love her always and pray that she has found joy and peace in cat heaven, until we meet again. To be honest, though we loved her so dearly for the 8 months that we lived together, and she entered our hearts so deeply, my grief is perhaps linked more to the unfairness that this horrible disease would strike a kitty less than a year old, fated from birth for suffering and death.
Though this disease is not common in cats, our Luna was not alone. FIP, when it strikes, affects most young cats before the age of 1.5 years. it is still my profound hope that one day very soon, we'll have a vaccination to prevent it from taking the lives of otherwise playful and joyful kittens.
How about you - have you had pets? If you have, surely you've felt the gifts of their unconditional love, playfulness, bliss,... and when it's their time to leave your family and their earthly existence, it's heartbreaking, whatever the situation.
There's a beautifully written and illustrated book "Cat Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant (who also wrote and illustrated "Dog Heaven") which was so helpful to us (my daughter and I) at this time. In fact, I read it to Luna before she passed, and like a toddler in my daughter's arms, wrapped in her favorite velour and sherpa blanket, she looked at each and every beautiful page as I turned it, trying her best to understand, and I want to believe she knew that it was a special time for us and I hope with everything in my heart that she felt the shared love in our hearts as she lingered in the room with us before flying to cat heaven.
After Luna's passing, our sweet Shuggs is noticeably lonely. He rests his head on Luna's toys by her faux fur cat condo where they'd stare together into the backyard, meditative souls. He places his head down on the steps where the rays of morning sunshine come in, light and warmth that he once shared with her, optimistically looking out the front window for deer, bunnies and squirrels. I wonder if he's looking for Luna to return, and he'll inspect her from head to toe, as he always did when they'd come together after being apart, to make sure she's alright. I tell myself that he must have seen that she was ill. Just one day earlier they shared space snuggled next to one another on our bed.
After we helped Luna escape her suffering with the assistance of our very kind veterinarian, I waited for signs that after lingering for a little while in our presence, Luna flew successfully to cat heaven. She graced me with two signs, one visual and one audible, days apart. I hope she made it to heaven and returned to us if only for two unexpected and all too very brief moments to let us know that her soul was at peace; she was free of suffering, and playfully romping around once more or meditating on soft fluffy clouds, holding us near as we'll hold her near forever.
As I think about the love, respect and gratitude we feel for our pets, I'm reminded also of an animal rights quote from animal lover Ellen Degeneres "If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything?"
Like Ellen, I've long been against animal testing for skincare and fragrance products. There's no need for continued testing of most ingredients in our products. We already know what's harmful and what's acceptable for the grand majority of ingredients. None of the product ingredients we use at Red Note Botanica are ever tested on animals.
At the conclusion of a yoga class before our collective namaste, my teacher sometimes says a short prayer that I love: "May all sentient beings be free and feel joy and happiness". Yes. Freedom, joy and happiness for all of us.
Sending lots of love to you and your furry family members who perhaps share your life now or have been with you in the past (or may be with you in the future). Celebrate the gifts of shared love and joy. Wishing you a blissful July!
Warmest hugs,
Raulla xoxo
