455 Margaretisms.

For more than eight years, I have started Mondays by sharing one of them on my social media platforms. Some were funny. Some were profound. Some made you think. Others made you laugh out loud. But every one of them came from the same woman: Margaret.

Margaret was my secretary. But calling her my secretary doesn't begin to describe what she really was to me. Margaret was the greatest leader I have ever known. And perhaps the most interesting thing is that Margaret never had a leadership title. She didn't sit in the corner office. She didn't have a team reporting to her. She didn't carry a fancy title on a business card. In fact, she never had an office with a door, only a cubicle, where people came in and out all day long. And yet, when Margaret passed away, hundreds of people paid tribute to her. Why? Because Margaret understood something about leadership that many people with impressive titles never learn: Leadership isn't about your position. Leadership is about your influence. And Margaret had influence. Lots of it.

She Changed Me

If you know my story, you know that Margaret wasn't just part of my career. She helped shape the person I became. She influenced me as a leader. She influenced me as a husband, father, friend, author, and speaker. She challenged me. She encouraged me. She corrected me. And, on more than a few occasions, she probably saved me from myself. Without Margaret, I doubt I would have written a single book. Not one. And somehow, that woman who never wrote a book herself became one of the greatest influences behind the eight books I eventually wrote. That's leadership! You don't have to be the person holding the pen to influence the person who writes the story. Margaret certainly influenced mine.

"Don't Let Them Get Your Goat!"

One of Margaret's greatest lessons eventually became the foundation for one of my books: Hide Your Goat. Why? Because Margaret was relentless about reminding me not to give other people permission to ruin my day. Someone would say something that irritated me. Someone would make a decision that frustrated me. Someone would do something that got under my skin. And Margaret would look at me and say: "Don't let them get your goat!" How many times did I hear those words? I couldn't possibly count them. But I heard the message. Don't give someone else control over your attitude. Don't allow someone else's behavior to determine your behavior. Don't hand someone else the remote control to your emotions. And most importantly, don't give someone the power to steal something from you that they never earned the right to have. Your peace. Your joy. Your attitude. Your day. Margaret didn't just tell me that. She lived it.

The Leadership Lesson Margaret Left Behind

We often make leadership far more complicated than it needs to be. We talk about titles, authority, organizational charts, positions, and power. But leadership is influence. And if leadership is influence, then we are all leaders. Every one of us. You influence your spouse, your children, your coworkers, your customers, your members, your friends, the person sitting next to you in the room, and you influence people you may never realize you are influencing. 

The question isn't whether you are a leader; the question is what kind of influence are you having?Are people better because they spent time with you? Do people feel encouraged after talking to you? Do you bring energy into a room or take it out? Do you make people feel important? Do you listen? Do you make people laugh? Do you make people believe they can do more than they thought possible? Do you leave people better than you found them? Margaret did. That's why she was a leader.

The Empty Chair

I have thought a lot about Margaret over the years. I have thought about the things she said. The wisdom hidden inside her humor. The countless conversations. The advice I didn't always want to hear, but usually needed. And I have thought about those 455 Margaretisms I have shared on Mondays for more than eight years. I have taken Margaret’s biggest lessons, distilled them down to their essence, and shared one every Monday.

And maybe that's why I have kept doing it. Because great leaders don't really leave us. Their influence stays. It stays in the stories we tell. It stays in the lessons we repeat. It stays in the lives they touched. It stays in the decisions we make because of something they once said. It stays in the people we become because they believed enough in us to challenge us. Margaret's influence certainly stayed with me. It is in my books, my speaking, the way I think about leadership, and it is in the way I try to treat people. And every once in a while, when somebody says something that gets under my skin, I can almost hear her voice: "Don't let them get your goat!" And I smile. Because she was right. She usually was.

You Don't Need a Title to Leave a Legacy

Margaret taught me something I hope I never forget: You don't need a title to be a leader. You don't need an office, a business card, people reporting to you, and you don’t even need people to call you a leader. You simply need the opportunity and the willingness to influence somebody's life for the better. Margaret had that opportunity every single day. And she used it. She influenced people with her wisdom, her humor, her candor, her honesty, her caring, and most of all, by being Margaret.  And when she was gone, hundreds of people felt compelled to tell the world what she had meant to them.

That's influence. That's leadership. That's a legacy. So perhaps the greatest leadership lesson Margaret ever taught me was not one of her 455 lessons that I have turned into extracts. It was simply the way she lived. She showed me that you don't have to be the most important person in the room to make the biggest difference. You just have to be willing to make a difference for the people in the room with you.

Thank you, Margaret.

For the wisdom. For the laughter. For the tough love. For the encouragement. For the books you helped me write without ever putting your name on the cover. And most of all, for showing me what real leadership looks like. You never needed a title. You had something far more powerful. You had influence. And your influence changed my life. I promise to spend the rest of mine doing the same for others and telling them about The Greatest Leader I Ever Knew.