From the Interim Associate Conference
Minister for Search and Call: 'The Gift of Frailty'
I have been privileged in my ability to take two weeks away from my daily work life. It is somewhat hard to call it a vacation because I did not do what I usually do when I am on vacation. At the same time I am ever mindful of people who do not get time away from their daily work at all. I am mindful of those who wish they had employment at all. I have worked since I was sixteen years old. I even made my mother sign a work permit because I was underage. I have not always liked the work I was doing but I have always been grateful for the work I have had.
Part of that time “away”, I used for a mentor training opportunity I have been invited to participate in. Part of that time was engaged in the unplanned things that come up as a matter of life…and death. I received a call from childhood friends back home in Richmond, Virginia. Their mother who is six weeks shy of her 94th birthday died. My sister was supposed to be the one to preside at Mrs. Oxenham’s funeral but Ginna died a year and a half ago and so they asked me to preside in their moment of loss. It is always an honor to be with people in these moments.
When I arrived at the graveside for the service, there was a small table prepared next to the coffin. The cross my mother gave to the church in memory of my father was placed on that table. We all commented how the ancestors were with us that afternoon as we celebrated another life. There was nothing “usual” about this moment except for some important things we need not forget. Family and friends gathered socially distanced, observing all the safety measures and in spite of the unusual nature of the moment, a lovely human’s life was remembered.
Over the years I have learned that it doesn’t really matter what our relationships were like with the people who die…we still grieve. We can grieve for what a relationship was and what we will miss, or what it wasn’t and what we wish it had been. Relationships can be complicated. One death can remind us of others who have died. That language is even in our UCC Book of Worship. These are the opening words of the service of Thanksgiving for One Who Has Died (pg. 372): Friends, we gather here in the protective shelter of God’s healing love. We are free to pour out our grief, release our anger, face our emptiness, and know that God cares. We gather here as God’s people, conscious of others who have died and of the frailty of our own existence on earth. We come to comfort and to support one another in our common loss. We gather to hear God’s word of hope that can drive away our despair and move us to offer God our praise. We gather to commend to God with thanksgiving the life of…as we celebrate the good news of Christ’s resurrection. For whether we live or whether we die, we belong to Christ who is Lord both of the dead and of the living.
When the service was over and I was driving through the historical Hollywood Cemetery, I couldn’t help but think about that line about “the frailty of our own existence on earth”. Human existence is frail even when we think we are invincible. Then I thought, how different we might be if we treated each other with such thoughts of frailty. Not that we need to dance around each other or walk on eggshells. I’m talking about seeing the frailty in each of us. That part of us that is so very human…that part of us that can hurt…that part of us that has experienced loss, betrayal, and division. How different would the world be if we actually realized just how frail/fragile life is…how frail each individual life is. Would we love each other more? Would we respect each other more? Would we risk telling the truth, saying the hard things because at the end of the day that is the most liberating and faithful thing to say? How different would our daily lives, relationships and interactions be if we engaged with each other…NOT as weaklings but frail people in this human existence on earth?
It is true that the definitions of frailty imply weakness. It can be moral weakness for sure or weakness of our bones. But what if frailty could be embraced as the reality of our limitations and the reality of our vulnerability? Could we then understand…finally understand that God has made us this way so that we would need each other in a good and health way? Can we let go of needing to always be right or strong or self-righteous long enough to admit “the frailty of our own existence on earth”?
The church is the gathering of God’s people who are limited, flawed, beautiful, courageous, compassionate, arrogant, rude, generous, selfish, creative…add to the list. The church is messy. The church is the people of God. The church is ALL of US…and we need each other to be what we are, what we are called to do as followers of Jesus Christ and the movement he established on earth.
God loves us so much that this incarnation even happened. God joins us in the frailty of our human existence on earth. This tradition…Christianity is not for the weak of heart or mind but of the frail who surrender and know that our strength is in God who made heaven and earth and all that in a part of creation.
I need you. I love you. Can you hear that? Can you accept, that you too are in need of others? Can you accept that you too, are loved and wanted? YOU are needed and loved not because of your perfection but in spite of your frailty. Our CHURCHES, our ASSOCIATIONS, our CONFERENCE, our DENOMINATION needs all of us. My hope and prayer is that we will humble ourselves in this haughty world so that We can and will gather to hear God’s word of hope that can drive away our despair and move us to offer God our praise. We can and will gather to commend to God with thanksgiving all our lives as we celebrate the good news of Christ’s resurrection. For whether we live or whether we die, we belong to Christ who is Lord both of the dead and of the living.”
May it be so. Thanks be to God. Amen.
Rev. Dr. Susan A. Minasian
Interim Associate Conference Minister for Search and Call
