It’s officially ‘put on a sweatshirt, take it off, put it back on’ season.

Well, that escalated quickly! After finally getting our snow contracts out, the responses came flooding in faster than we expected, and we're already approaching capacity for the season. Apparently everyone remembers last winter well enough to know that waiting until the first snowflake falls isn't the best strategy. If you haven't returned your contract yet, now would be a very good time. We'd love to accommodate everyone, but unfortunately, we haven't figured out how to clone our plow drivers.

Meanwhile, the first freeze has officially arrived, and those chilly evenings are making a pretty convincing argument for a backyard fire pit. There's something about gathering around a warm fire on a crisp autumn night that makes the colder weather a little more tolerable. Whether it's a simple stone fire pit or a full outdoor fireplace, a well-designed space can keep your backyard enjoyable long after the patio furniture starts looking abandoned. Besides, staring into a fire while holding a cocktail is practically a form of therapy!

And next week brings Halloween, followed just a few days later by my personal favorite holiday: Godzilla Day on November 3rd! One celebrates monsters, the other celebrates the undisputed king of them. Honestly, it's a pretty natural progression when you think about it. While everyone else is carving pumpkins and stocking up on candy, I'll be preparing to celebrate a giant radioactive lizard with a 72-year history of destroying cities. Some people have Christmas. I have Godzilla Day. We all have our traditions.

Today in History: On this day in 1923, US patent (No. 1471465) is issued to American inventor Sebastian Hinton for a playground climbing structure popularly known as "monkey bars"

PROJECT SPOTLIGHT:

Bethlehem, PA

Lolla-POLL-ooza:

Well, 484 people participated in this week's mental equipment inspection, and apparently humanity is running on fumes and bad decisions. Tolerance Meter: EXPLODED took first place with 31%, followed by Patience Battery: DEAD at 23%. So nearly half of you are one stupid question away from needing either a vacation or legal representation. Possibly both.

Meanwhile, 18% lost their Common Sense Sensor, 15% overwhelmed their Moron Scanner, and 14% disabled Social Settings entirely. Frankly, that last group may be the smartest people in the room. Final diagnosis? We're running outdated software in a world that keeps installing increasingly stupid updates. The warranty's expired, tech support is useless, and apparently turning humanity off and back on again requires a permit.

Humanity has always been spectacularly questionable. Social media just gave it a bigger audience. Imagine the Titanic sinking while influencers argue over lifeboat seating, Salem's witch trials being run by a Facebook moms' group, or some genius in Pompeii yelling, “SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!” as Mount Vesuvius turns the neighborhood into a parking lot.

History was already a glorious collection of bad decisions made by overly confident idiots. Now imagine giving those idiots smartphones, unlimited data, and a desperate need for attention. So this week, we're asking: Which historical disaster would social media turn into an absolute three-ring circus? Because nothing says “human progress” quite like livestreaming your own extinction.

Product Spotlight of the Month:

Deer Fencing

1. Protect your landscaping: Keep deer from turning expensive trees, shrubs, flowers, and gardens into an all-you-can-eat buffet.

2. Effective without ruining the view: Modern deer fencing provides serious protection while remaining far less visually intrusive than traditional fencing.

3. Protect your investment: Landscaping isn’t cheap. Deer fencing helps prevent thousands of dollars in plant damage and replacement costs.

4. Custom-fit to your property: Systems can be designed around gardens, landscape beds, property lines, or larger wooded areas.

5. Built for year-round protection: Durable materials stand up to changing weather while protecting plants through every season.

6. Stop fighting the same battle: Repellents and sprays require constant reapplication. A properly installed deer fence provides a dependable, long-term barrier.

Coffee is currently chairing the morning meeting in my head

I’m finishing this week the same way I started it:

confused, but employed

The Garden State Referral Program:

Know someone planning a landscaping or fencing project?

Refer them to us and earn 5% of the job in free services.

Refer a project → Earn REAL rewards

• $3,000 project → $150 in services
• $5,000 project → $250 in services
• $10,000 project → $500 in services
• $20,000 project → $1,000 in services

Send your neighbors our way and we’ll take care of your next service.

Get 3 neighbors on board and earn a FREE month of service this year!

Breakdown:

• 1 neighbor → $100 off your next invoice
• 3 neighbors → free month
• 5+ → 2 free months AND bonus (free weeding, mulch discount, etc.)



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