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One night as I lay in bed
I asked my heart what it wanted
thumping so wildly
about to leap free from
inside my chest.
This is a fine day to die
it said, live as if
this were your last.
So I made a pact with her --
this bloody mother of my life
and every morning this prayer
pulls up the red-soaked dawn --
Strum your bloody strings
I said, pound the sturdy pulse of my life
and I will walk fearlessly
into the dark arms of death
having lived and loved so well
fed fully these moments
all you have given me.
-- "As If This Were Your Last" by Thomas Griffin
This time of year, in Vermont – call it late winter, mud season, or early spring -- is filled with the beautiful chaos of transition. Daffodils are emerging, the forsythia bush begins to explode in brilliant yellow. For three days the clouds have taken residence; constant rain has soaked the earth, waiting to be ignited by the returning sun. Our hope, expectation, and investment in springtime and new growth make it easy to overlook all that’s dying back and being left behind.
The bright lime shoots of grass in the field push up through the brown straw of winter. In the woods, dark, fallen branches sink into the wet, rotting leaves and are swallowed up by the unfurling ferns and soon lost in the sea of emerald leaves.
In Spring we celebrate Easter and the resurrection of Christ and all life, but it’s easy to forget that the resurrection comes after (and requires) the Crucifixion. Transformations take effort. That caterpillar doesn’t just become a butterfly. The caterpillar spins a cocoon, dissolves and dies… and sometime later on, the gooey paste reorganizes itself and has to fight to escape the confinement.
In just a few days, I’ll be flying to the Gila Wilderness of New Mexico to lead a vision quest. The participants who come surely want a transformation, want to find passion or purpose… want to find vision, their authentic voice, their reason for being here… want to find healing or relief from some old and limiting ways of being. And without doubt, many – perhaps all – will find their means to flourish.
But in our very first meeting, after asking about their intention, about what brings them here, I will say, “And what are you willing to say ‘goodbye’ to, to sever from?” And that is such an important question. Life’s miracle requires stepping out of the comfort zone; it doesn’t offer us something for nothing. It asks, “Are you willing to pay the price of admission – death, loss, and grief -- for this beautiful, real, and magical world that’s within and around you?”
If the answer is “yes,” consider joining us on one of our adventures listed below.
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