Love and

Remembering is a

Special Holiday Gift

Dear Friends,

The gift of remembering those who have died during the holidays is one of the best of all gifts you can give to someone who is living life without that special person. So we at griefHaven decided that this month's newsletter would include gifts of music and poetry about just that, from our hearts to yours.

MUSIC - The music and video below, The Ghosts of Christmas Past, is performed by Judy Whitmore. The song was written by Michael Orland (16 seasons as vocal coach on American Idol) and Jamie Wooten (producer of the Golden Girls). This moving song is performed for the first time with a full orchestra. Included on Judy Whitmore's beautiful, new Christmas album, she shares her song of love, loss, and remembering. Turn up the volume and enjoy!
POETRY - Feel the compassion and love in the two special poems below.

With love, Susan Whitmore, Founder and CEO

THE GHOSTS OF

CHRISTMAS PAST

WRITTEN BY MICHAEL ORLAND AND JAMIE WOOTEN

PERFORMED BY JUDY WHITMORE

About Judy

Judy Whitmore has accomplished much in her lifetime: a vocal artist, award-winning best-selling author, theater producer, licensed commercial pilot, and therapist.

Judy has performed around the country and at Carnegie Hall. Her solo albums have garnered millions of streams on Spotify, Apple Music, and other streaming platforms. Her repertoire is diverse, extending from the great American standards to Broadway and jazz. She is a member of The Recording Academy.

Judy currently serves on the Executive Committee of the Board of Directors of Pacific Symphony and is a member of the board of directors of Pacific Jazz Orchestra, Backhaus Dance, and The OC World Affairs Council.

PLEASE SAY

THEIR NAMES

Author Unknown

The time of concern is over.

No longer are we asked how we’re doing.

Never are the names of our loved ones mentioned to us.

For most, the drama is over.

There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends,

Sensitive and loving family.

Still look, still ask, still listen.

Thank God for them.

What can be said, you ask?

Please say their names to us.

Love does not die.

Their names are written on our lives.

The sound of their voices replay within our minds.

You may feel they are dead.

We feel they are dead, and still they live.

They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome.

You say they were our loved ones.

We say they are.

Please say their names to us.

It hurts to bury their memories in silence.

What they were in flesh is no longer with us.

What they are in spirit stirs within us always.

Please understand we cannot forget.

We would not even if we could.

We know that you cannot know.

Yesterday we were like you.

We do not ask you to walk this road.

The ascent is steep and the burden heavy.

We walk it not by choice.

What we have lost you cannot feel.

What we have gained, you may not see.

Please say their names, for they are alive.

We will meet them again, although in many ways we’ve never parted.

Their spirits play light songs—appear in sunrises and sunsets.

They are real and shadow; they were and are.

Please say their names to us, and say their names again.

They are our loved ones, and we love them as we always did.

More each day.

Please, say their names!

THANKS FOR THE INVITE

By Karen Cassel

The holidays are approaching

Got my invite to your place

I hope you understand that

I need to move at my own pace

You see, my child recently died

I did not at all prepare

I may show up, I just may not

Celebrations are tough to share

If you could please be patient

My days can be a mess

Some days I am less triggered

I can’t predict, I will confess

If I do come to your event

Because my kid should be alive

Parties, people, and gatherings

Are not where I really thrive

Please wait for me; I’ll have to see

Can I join your celebration?

Grief will decide on the very day

If I can rise to the occasion

Cassel Family

Photo includes, from left to right, Karen, Sydney, Mel Cassel-Walker and Richard. Sydney passed a year and a half ago and Karen began writing poetry as a way to deal with her grief. Her new book of poetry, After the Race Ends, is coming out in 2026.

A griefHaven

MAKES A WONDERFUL GIFT

We use this wonderful book in griefHaven work. Ask anyone who has worked with us, and they will tell you how much they love this little book. But don't mistake the size for the value. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Listed on 365 separate pages, one for each day of the year, each page is filled with accurate, loving, hopeful and thought-provoking wisdom. Start on day 1 and read for 365 consecutive days or open it randomly and see what you get.

ORDER

Not sure what to give someone who is grieving? Send them this book, and I promise they will be eternally grateful.

OVER 1 MILLION COPIES SOLD

Martha Hickman lost her daughter and she and her husband put together what was supposed to be daily meditations that helped them. What started as a gift to others has turned into a super power of love and hope that everyone who has ever lost someone they love will attest to, griefHaven included.

After the focus on planning and outpouring of love from family and friends in the immediate aftermath following the loss of a loved one, we are left to enter a new version of our lives where someone important is missing.

For days, months, or years, the pain of the loss can crash in all at once. It is tempting to push that wave of grief back and soldier on with our new lives, but the loss will never lose its controlling power if we don’t find the courage and love to face it. Meditating on the loss, along with the rush of love that comes with it, gives us a chance to rejoice in the life that was shared and to look forward in life, through the memories of our loved ones, as they continue to bless us.

The short, poignant meditations given here follow the course of the year, but it is not a necessity to follow them chronologically. They will strengthen, inspire, and give comfort for as long as they are needed.

To Those Who

Lost Their Homes

in the January Fires,

and to Those Impacted

by the Fire,

We Know this Holiday Season

Brings with It Grief.

You are Not Forgotten,

and We Send Our Love.

YOU WILL RISE AGAIN!

griefHaven Zoom fire support group ongoing. Inquire: hope@griefHaven.org

The griefHaven Method™

Our support groups are more than talk groups. Each group is an integrative and specialized grief “program” that provides you support in all areas impacted by your loss. You will also go through your grief journey with others who have experienced the same loss. All groups are facilitated by either licensed and/or trained professionals.

Donate to griefHaven

Without donations, griefHaven would no longer exist. We are dependent upon the generosity of those who give so that we may continue providing love, education, and support to those in need.

DONATE NOW

This is griefHaven

Who is griefHaven? What does griefHaven do? Watch this short and informative video to hear the answers.

WATCH VIDEO

Support Groups - The griefHaven Method™

Our support groups are safe, healing, and informative places to be. It doesn’t matter where you live. We provide in-person groups (Los Angeles only) and Zoom groups around the world. Private/closed groups by losses include: CHILD LOSS, SPOUSAL LOSS, SIBLING LOSS, and PARENT LOSS.

LEARN MORE

Bulletin Board

For those interested in joining an in-person group, please contact us to learn more.

Newest Groups

New In-Person Child Loss Group:

Starting in Santa Monica in January 2026.

Zoom Spousal Loss Group:

Started. One space left. Closing in January 2026.

Zoom Child Loss Group: Started. three spaces left. Closing in January 2026.

Zoom Parent Loss Group (for adults): Started. two spaces lleft. Closing January 2026.

Waitlist Sibling Loss Group (for adult and young adult groups): Please contact us about getting on our waitlist for the next Zoom or in-person group.

To inquire about groups, be on our group waitlist, or other information, please contact us at (310) 459-1789 or hope@griefHaven.org.

Packet of Hope

Order a free Packet of Hope for yourself or someone you care about. Packet includes information for the griever and the supporter.

ORDER A PACKET

Portraits of Hope Documentary Film

Watch the documentary film Portraits of Hope: The Parent’s Journey.

WATCH HERE

Grief Pins

For the person who is grieving, a grief pin makes a loving gift. Or just get one for yourself. For volume discounts, email hope@griefHaven.org or call (310) 459-1789

LEARN MORE

What to Say; What Not to Say

What to Say; What Not to Say to Someone Who is Grieving.

Not sure what to say to someone who is grieving? That's okay. We've got you covered. Watch this for some guidelines.

WATCH HERE

Now You Know™

Here we provide brief, thought-provoking and useful educational information videos regarding loss, life, and ideas we feel will help you live a better life. New shows added regularly.

WATCH HERE

In Loving Memory Room

Visit our “In Loving Memory” room dedicated to sharing your loved one with others and keeping their memory alive. Contact us if you would like griefHaven to create a special area for your loved one.

VISIT MEMORY ROOM

Love Wall

Visit the "Love Wall” that honors all those who have generously supported us. All griefHaven donors receive a tile. THANK YOU TO ALL OUR DONORS!

VISIT LOVE WALL

Newsletter Archive

Visit our archive of all past newsletters. We know you will discover new ways of understanding life’s ups and downs, as well as coping strategies to help you as your journey through.

READ PAST NEWSLETTERS