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I recently was forwarded an interesting post from the internet. Writer Sarah Stephens highlights the difference between CONFRONTING and CRITICIZING, and how knowing the difference between the two can make huge changes in what and how we communicate with our kids. Confrontation focuses on a problem, criticizing focuses on a person. The first aims to build an effort together, the other immediately raises defenses. If you’d like a master-class example of this, Google, “Jesus and the Woman at the Well.”
Effective and thoughtful communication can make a difference in all areas of our lives. We are very blessed to have Tami Calais, an aging and change coach, an active part of our congregation, a MomCo mom and the force behind the Tuesday night Volleyball group. Tami spoke to MomCo last week, and offered these four key-points about communication:
- Avoid natural communication roadblocks like telling people what to do, judging them or criticizing their thought process.
- Use curiosity and open-ended questions to try and understand their worldview.
- Listen more, talk less. Remember to ask yourself WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) and don't be afraid of silence.
- Try Reflective statements with empathy, putting yourself in their shoes to try and articulate what might be on their mind!
Raising children, living in community, being part of any family or group can be challenging. But Romans 12:18 reminds us that we are called, as best as we can, to live peaceably with all. Being mindful of what we say, and how we communicate, is a part this path.
Click here to see the post by Sarah Stephens on Instagram.
Click here to learn more about Tami and browse her website.
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