Every Life Leaves a Legacy: Rosaura's Story | | |
Greetings!
As part of our “Every Story Matters. Every Life Leaves a Legacy” video series, this week we share Rosaura’s story, narrated by her parents, advocates April and Joe Barbosa, founders of Rosaura's Legacy.
Through their memories, we meet a young woman whose bright smile, generosity, and determination touched people from all walks of life. Rosaura was hardworking, hopeful, and eager to build her future. She offered kindness freely, including buying meals for people who could not afford them. Her parents remember the light she brought into the world and the compassion she continues to inspire in them.
April and Joe speak openly about losing their daughter to domestic abuse at 18, the grief they carry, and their commitment to helping other families avoid the pain they have endured. They also share a message they want more people to understand: ending a relationship can become dangerous, even when you have not recognized signs of physical violence.
Their story also makes space for a father's grief. April and Joe reflect on the expectation to stay strong for others while navigating his own loss. He established a grief group for fathers and other men experiencing loss, creating room for connection, support, and feelings that too often go unacknowledged.
Through Rosaura's Legacy, April and Joe carry their daughter's compassion forward by supporting people experiencing abuse and advocating for healthy relationship education in our schools. Earlier this year, Governor Hobbs presented April with the Triumph Over Tragedy Award, recognizing her advocacy and leadership. The Barbosas' work is rooted in love for Rosaura and a determination that no other family should have to navigate what they did.
We invite you to listen to April and Joe, hear who Rosaura was, and consider what their experience asks of all of us: to better support survivors, make room for families' grief, and take responsibility for preventing domestic abuse. Beneath the video, you'll find written pieces by both April and Joe, offering more of their reflections in their own words.
| | As you listen, honor what you need. This video includes personal accounts of domestic abuse, death, loss, and grief, alongside reflections on advocacy and hope. Some details may be difficult to hear. Please honor your needs as you decide whether and when to watch. | | | |
Remembering Rosaura: A Mother's Call for Safety by April Barbosa
The day was sunny and beautiful. The birds were singing, and the sky was blue. From the outside, it looked like a perfect day, but something about it did not feel ordinary. There was a strange heaviness to it.
Rosaura had broken up with her boyfriend and was planning to return to their shared apartment to get her belongings. We asked if we could go with her for support or even wait outside while she gathered her things. She told us, “No, Mom and Dad. I’ve got this. I’m an adult.”
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To us, it was a normal breakup, something countless people experience every day. None of us knew that it would end with our daughter never coming home.
I wish I could say she gathered her things and came home safely.
Instead, that was the day we learned that breaking up can be deadly, even when there have been no previous signs of abuse.
In Rosaura’s case, we had not seen any signs that she was being abused. The first sign came when he abused her little dog, Gizmo. Rosaura knew it was wrong, and she immediately ended the relationship.
Rosaura was murdered because she broke up with him. She had every right to end a relationship she no longer wanted to be in. He believed that if he could not have her, no one could.
Please do not assume someone is safe simply because there has never been physical violence before. A person may become dangerous when they feel they are losing control of the relationship. If you are ending a relationship, tell someone you trust, meet in a public place, take someone with you, ask law enforcement about a civil standby, and do not return alone to collect your belongings.
We cannot always predict how someone will react to a breakup, but we can take every breakup seriously and help one another leave as safely as possible.
Sometimes there are no signs. That does not mean there is no danger.
| | Support is available for survivors to safety plan around their specific situation and the risks involved in leaving an abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, call our multilingual hotline at 520-795-4266. Emerge hotline specialists can help with safety planning and provide further information on available support. | | | | | |
Beyond "Stay Strong": A Father's Grief Deserves to Be Heard by Joe Barbosa
After my daughter was murdered, I felt completely alone in my grief. Society seemed to expect me to keep going as if nothing had happened. People often offered my wife condolences and gifts to comfort her, but rarely acknowledged that I had lost my daughter too. I was told to “stay strong” and “take care of your wife,” but what I needed to hear was, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Then I attended an event hosted by Parents of Murdered Children and heard another grieving father speak. His words reflected so many of the feelings I had been carrying. Afterward, I approached him and told him that I understood because I felt those things too. I gave him our organization’s card and let him know that if he ever needed someone to talk to, I was there.
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That conversation became the foundation of our Grieving Fathers Support Group. We began talking about what it was like to move through life while carrying the tremendous loss of our children. We shared feelings that we often did not feel comfortable expressing anywhere else. Eventually, one of us suggested creating a group for other men like us—a safe place where grieving fathers could speak honestly, support one another, and know they were not alone.
I know there are other fathers who feel forgotten or isolated in their grief. They are welcome in our group. It cannot take away the pain of losing a child, but it provides a space to talk, to be heard, and to sit with other men who truly understand.
| | If you are interested in connecting with the Grieving Fathers Support Group, respond to this email. | | | Remembering Rosaura at Footsteps for Healing on Saturday, October 17. | | |
As part of our video project, we also invited survivors and families who have lost loved ones to create a shirt for the Clothesline Project. Through words, artwork, and personal messages, these shirts offer another way to share their stories, honor loved ones, and express what healing and remembrance mean to them.
The shirts April and Joe created in honor of Rosaura will be displayed at this year’s Footsteps for Healing walk. These personal tributes reflect Rosaura's life and the love she continues to inspire, inviting our community to remember her and carry her story forward.
April and Joe will also join us as special speakers. We invite you to come hear their story, honor Rosaura's legacy, and walk alongside a community committed to supporting survivors and families impacted by violence, in all its forms.
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A study found that leaving an abusive partner or asking him to leave are associated with a higher risk of femicide.*
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References:
*https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/full/10.2105/AJPH.93.7.1089
| | Where Love Leads, Healing Can Emerge! | | | | |
