March

Money is part of everyday decision-making. At Project SAGE, we see how finances are often connected to personal safety and well-being — supporting independence in some situations and creating pressure or vulnerability in others.

This month’s letter looks at how financial harm can take different forms — including financial abuse within relationships and a volunteer’s experience with a financial scam — along with ways our community can stay informed and connected to support.

When Money Is Used as Control in Relationships

How Financial Abuse Can Show Up in Domestic Violence

Financial abuse is a common but often overlooked part of domestic violence. It occurs when one partner uses money or financial resources to gain power or control within a relationship. This can include limiting access to bank accounts or credit cards, controlling how money is spent, withholding financial information, or interfering with someone’s ability to work or earn income. These behaviors may develop gradually and can exist alongside other forms of control.

Access to money is closely connected to safety, stability, and choice. Advocates consistently find that financial abuse is present in the vast majority of domestic violence cases and is a significant reason people may remain in, return to, or struggle to leave unsafe relationships. When someone does not have reliable access to financial resources, everyday decisions — such as housing, healthcare, transportation, or supporting children — can become much more difficult.

Forms of Financial Abuse

Like other forms of abuse, financial abuse can begin subtly and may become more restrictive over time. In some relationships, one partner may take on greater responsibility for managing money — particularly during periods of stress or transition — and financial decisions may slowly become less shared. Over time, this can shift into a pattern where one person has increasing control over financial information, access, or decision-making.

In other situations, financial control may be more direct, with one partner limiting the other’s ability to work, earn income, or access family funds. Whether subtle or more overt, these patterns can be difficult to recognize while they are happening. Understanding the different ways financial control can show up helps bring clarity to experiences that may otherwise feel confusing or hard to name.

Ways Financial Control Can Show Up

(These patterns can look different in every relationship.)

Limiting access to bank accounts, credit cards, or financial information

Controlling how money is spent or requiring approval for everyday purchases

Interfering with someone’s ability to work, earn income, or pursue training

Withholding money needed for basic expenses like food, medicine, or transportation

Creating debt in another person’s name or damaging shared credit

Monitoring or questioning spending in ways that create fear or pressure

Anatomy of a Scam

How Urgency and Secrecy Pull You In   

By The Reverend Dr. Eileen Epperson

Project SAGE volunteer since April 2023

I had a rude surprise in early December 2025 when three extremely convincing cyber thieves defrauded me. I am on a mission now to enlighten younger and elder folks about the unpredictability and sophistication of these criminal teams which will only worsen with Artificial Intelligence unregulated.

I tapped on a message at the top of my emails: “3 More Messages.” Suddenly, there was a red screen that stopped everything. I know now that I should have shut off the laptop and visited my computer expert that day.

I called the Microsoft Office Support number saved in my phone, not realizing it had been taken over by this group. I thought I was speaking to a Microsoft agent. 

This was a team of three skilled scammers. The first man convinced me that foreign agents had stolen my identity. “Hackers have gotten into your computer, ma’am, and have control of your bank account. You pre-approved a withdrawal of $_____ within two hours to buy illegal child exploitation material!” I was horrified. I was then sent to someone in the “Fraud Prevention Department” of my bank who was going to protect me. 

The brilliance of this scheme was how this second man anticipated my objections in advance of everything he was advising me to do. He did so with authority and details. He stayed on the phone with me for three days directing all my actions.

This is a classic example of a swindle: urgency, secrecy, and trust-building by the schemer. I had to get my money out of my bank asap and convey it to a safe place (a Bitcoin machine). I should not tell anyone about this, including my partner. He falsely claimed to have powerful connections within the Federal government.

The lessons: if a Bitcoin machine is mentioned, hang up. If urgency and secrecy are in the equation, hang up. If in doubt, hang up. Do not open anything you do not recognize on your phone or computer. We all must educate ourselves about the ingenious methods devised daily to fool us into giving away our money.

DEVELOPMENT

A Note from Stacy, Project SAGE’s 
Development Manager

In my role at Project SAGE, I have the privilege of working with donors and community partners who care deeply about this work and the people it serves. Alongside my colleagues Brenna, Stephanie, and Nichole, I spend a lot of time listening — learning what matters most to people and helping connect their values with meaningful, lasting impact.

One trend we’re seeing more of is values-aligned philanthropy.

Giving reflects not just what someone supports, but why. Many donors want to understand how their support helps sustain Project SAGE’s work over time. Tools such as donor-advised funds (DAFs), gifts of appreciated stock, and planned giving options can offer thoughtful and flexible ways to give, often while providing financial or tax benefits as well. Across all of this, transparency, trust, and long-term sustainability matter more than ever.

I’m always glad to connect with individuals who are curious about Project SAGE’s work and how they might engage in ways that feel right for them. If that sounds like you, I hope this note feels like an open door.

Learn more:

• What is a Donor-Advised Fund? (Fidelity Charitable)
• IRS guidance on charitable contributions (IRS website)
• What is planned giving? (Planned Giving)

VOLUNTEER

Considering Volunteering with Project SAGE?

Project SAGE volunteers support people in a wide range of practical, meaningful ways. Some answer phones or help with outreach. Others support families by accompanying clients to appointments, helping set up safer housing, or assisting with early childhood programs. Behind the scenes, volunteers also help organize donations and keep our office running smoothly. While the work can be challenging at times, volunteers often tell us it feels deeply human, grounded, and impactful.

Becoming a Project SAGE volunteer begins with training. Our training is designed to be thoughtful, supportive, and realistic — offering practical skills alongside a deeper understanding of the work. Throughout the process, we emphasize that volunteers are never expected to do this alone.

For many people, volunteering becomes a meaningful chapter that stays with them — whether it leads to continued service, professional growth, or a deeper connection to the community. Learn more here.

Spring 2026 Volunteer Training

Our Spring 2026 training cohort will meet for six consecutive weeks beginning April 23, on Thursdays from 3:00–5:00 pm at Scoville Library. Participants who cannot attend in person may join virtually. For each week of training, participants should expect approximately two hours of at-home work. Learn more.

A favorite thought from our Executive Director

“All the time, and especially in unsettled times, moments of pause provide precious time to think through things, let things settle and find a way forward.”

Project Sage is Hiring

Director of Finance & Operations

Garden Tours, Rare Plants & Garden Antiques Sale

Tickets go on sale to the general public beginning April 1, 2026 at midnight!

Buy yours and support the work of Project SAGE.

Make a Difference Today.

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