Every morning, before the day's demands compete for my attention, I read from my mom’s King James Version Scofield Reference Bible. I treasure this routine, not simply because of what I read, but because of whose Bible I hold. My mom carried that Bible to church every time the doors were open. She read from it every day until she passed away on July 29, 2021. Its pages hold more than Scripture. They hold the evidence of a life rooted in faith, the wisdom she gathered along the way, and little handwritten notes that continue to teach me long after she is gone.

Recently, as I was preparing to write this month’s newsletter, I came across a note she had written beside a passage in Psalm 100. It was a simple acronym for three letters: JOY.

J — Jesus

O — Others

Y — You

Below those words, she had written a phrase that stopped me in my tracks.

“Keep the words in this order for true happiness.”

I readily understood the first word. Jesus first. My faith has always reminded me that when I get my priorities right, everything else has a better chance of falling into place. But I found myself lingering over the next two words. Others. You. Why did my mom put others before herself? Was there something in that order I had overlooked? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that her little handwritten note was asking a much bigger question: Where do we look for happiness, and where do we actually find it?

I have always believed in the importance of filling your own cup before attempting to fill someone else’s. You cannot continually pour yourself into other people while ignoring your own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Eventually, you will run on empty. But there is a difference between filling your cup and making your cup the center of your life. Somewhere along the way, we can become so focused on our own happiness that we spend more time asking what life can give us than considering what we can give to life.


We measure our days by what we accomplish, acquire, experience, and feel. We tell ourselves that we will be happy when we get that promotion, reach that goal, buy that house, take that trip, or finally have a little more time for ourselves. And then we reach the milestone, enjoy the moment, and discover that happiness can be surprisingly temporary. Perhaps that is because happiness and joy are not always found in the same places. Happiness often depends on what is happening to us. Joy can be found in what is happening through us.

Here is what I have come to understand about my mom’s note. Sometimes, the surest way to find what you are looking for is to stop looking for it in yourself. I have discovered that some of my deepest, most lasting joy comes when I turn my attention away from myself and toward someone else. It happens when I encourage someone who has lost confidence in themselves. When I take time to listen to someone who simply needs to be heard. When I show appreciation to a person whose efforts have gone unnoticed. When I help someone through a difficult time without expecting anything in return. A kind word. A thoughtful gesture. An unexpected phone call. A sincere thank-you. A willingness to show up when it would be easier to stay away.

A Final Thought From My Mom

I wish I could sit down with my mom one more time, open her Bible to that passage, and ask her why she wrote those words. I would love to hear her explain what she had learned about Jesus, others, and herself. But perhaps she already gave me the answer. She gave it to me through the faith she lived, the Bible she carried, and the words she left behind. She gave it to me in a handwritten reminder that has challenged me years after she wrote it. Jesus. Others. You. Three Words. One Powerful Order.