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A MESSAGE FROM OUR RABBI
Well, the Seders are now behind us. Sheri and I had lovely Seders but, honestly, while we sang and laughed, the festivities were somewhat subdued because of the state of the Jewish affairs here and around the world. The important thing is that we, and you, and many Jews around the world, had Seders. I have said it before, but it is worth repeating. At times like these it is important to “do” Jewish. It is one of the reasons that I asked for memories and asked that you keep making them. When we observe our rituals and traditions, we are exercising our Jewish muscles and strengthening them.
Don’t forget that at morning services on the last day of Passover, Tuesday, April 30th, we will have a Yizkor service. It is during this service that we remember the loved ones we have lost. While it is a good time to remember, it is also a good time to be in conversation with them, and to update those whom you love and miss on what is happening in your life. Services begin at 9:00 and Yizkor should happen at about 10:45.
I asked for memories, and you shared. Below is some of what you sent to me. I did not ask permission to republish what was written, so I am deleting names to protect privacy. (I left Ina Morgenthal’s names in because she told me it was okay). In some cases, I have (mildly) edited and/or shortened what was written. Enjoy.
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a) In 2015 or so, we did a Seder at our house, and had to spend part of it in the basement because of a tornado warning. I believe the Capitals were in the playoffs and (my daughter) walked around with a basket for folks to put their cell phones in, just like in Hebrew School.
b) April 2004, a small Passover with (me, my husband, and my daughter) sitting in the President Hotel in Moscow. We didn't have anything with us, so we said the (Shehechi-Ahnu) and a few other prayers.
c) Going to my first Seder where we did everything in Hebrew when I was at Syracuse in 1986. Very unlike my Seders growing up.
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Passover is the holiday. I miss my dad the most. He was always the one that led the Seder, and he was always the one that hid the matzah from (the children) Hiding the matzah from them was his favorite part. He loved when they found the Matzah and he always rewarded them generously. As tears rolled down my face telling you this memory, I’m also very grateful for this heartfelt memory.
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The holiday evokes so many memories.
My Mother and Father singing the songs. My Mother kind of sounded like Edith Bunker.
Our housekeeper Louise joining in on Chad Gad Ya. Treasured memories.
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I have a couple of old stories for you.
My father’s father fled the Tsar’s army in circa 1904. He spoke and read Yiddish. While he learned a modest English-speaking ability, he never could read or write it. His family (including my father and his siblings) were raised Orthodox. Apparently, a Seder was a lengthy ordeal for his kids. So (the kids) stuck a lot of the pages of his Hebrew Haggadah together. He never noticed it—he didn’t know Hebrew.
His daughter, my aunt, never married, and he lived with her for as long as I ever knew. He worked, and was not physically dependent on her, but she took care of everything except his work. She did his financials, too. I have so many memories of my Aunt, but my Pesach one, besides the wonderful Potato latkes, is that she made her gefilte fish from scratch—really from scratch-- keeping live carp in her bathtub!!!. Also, delicious. Ah… I have so many wonderful family memories, both paternal and maternal about food!
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Over the past 50 years, (my sister and brother-in-law) have hosted groups from 18 to 50 family members, friends, and total strangers……This conglomerate enabled us to share childhood renditions of all the prayers with a host of different melodies and tunes – We also pride ourselves that B”H we have been granted a gift of pleasant singing voices so as you can imagine: we have terrific harmony….
We are also a very theatrical family – So our Sedarim have had dances and plays and musicals with of course the followed awards ceremonies: this tradition has gone from my serving as the playwright to the grandchildren composing the vignettes that have enhanced the ambience of Pesach…..
Back in the day, we would all have different Hagadote and eventually we just used the Maxwell House ones that none of us (liked). For one thing: the translations were not to our preference: clarity, concise and correct – So about 25 years ago, our nephew and I obtained about a dozen Hagadote and reviewed each one for the wordings, interpretations, commentaries, instructions, and translations – Together we then spent weeks (creating) our (own) Family Hagadah which we dedicated tour hosts)…….
(W)hen it’s time to open the door for Elijah: I am charged to open the doors and then I scream out at the top of my lungs: ELIAHU COME ON IN – OUR DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN! – It doesn’t bother my sister’s neighbors as literally all of them are having their Seders….
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The first Passover I was invited over to Ira’s home. I met his Grandfather Max for the first time. It was my first seder I had attended. Grandpa Max Put me at ease. He explained at the Seder table all about Passover in simple terms. He asked if I would like to ask the 4 Questions and I said yes. He said everyone else at the table will give answers to the four questions. I felt very welcome a really enjoyed my first seder. It’s a time we reflect on our past of being slaves. A sweet Passover to all: Ina
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I remember as a kid driving up to Long Island and my (Uncle and Aunt) would host. We would have two huge tables all the kids at one, and the adults at the other. The house was full of my family…..It is a memory that I cherish and really solidified me as a Jewish young boy because it showed me family, faith, and oneness as we were all together to celebrate.
The seder table was set up beautifully with China, silverware, and wine glasses. The food courses seemed like they went on for hours. Nanny's Chopped liver, Aunt Paula's Fricassee, Matzah Farfel Kugel, Mom’s Derma, Pot Roast, and Turkey. (Everyone) argued for the different parts of the turkey, the burnt ends of the farfel, and the meatballs in the Fricassee. Oh, the laughs. My cousin's snort when she laughed and my Grandpa and Nanny's smile. The hiding of the Afikomen and my Grandpa giving us a few bucks. Later in life my Uncle, then my Dad, and now my Mom became the elders of the family.
I remember the Hagaddah and the fear of getting the page that had all the long Rabbi's names. My Sister always seemed to get that page and then came the tears. The next was the nerves that would come across as I knew (as the youngest of the family) it was time for me to do the 4 questions. My Grandpa and my Uncle would listen intently making sure I pronounced the Hebrew properly. I had my Hebrew school notes out and honestly I may have read a few words phonetically I will admit. The nod and wink from my Father and the smile on my Mom's face and the smiles on Nanny and Grandpa's face as well.
I miss those days. A full table of family, traditions, and a lot of laughs. I wipe a tear as I am writing this email because I miss those days and the family has gotten much smaller. I just hope that I can even instill a small part and have impact on my children as the generations have done before me.
In another 25-30 years I hope my children and nephews continue to have the same memories and traditions as were given and passed down to me.
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I have a very vivid memory of when our youngest son, read the four questions for the first time. He was diagnosed at 3 years old with special needs. Although he LOVES to read now, it took a little bit more effort than normal for him to start reading. You can’t imagine the pride we all felt the first time he was able to read the 4 questions. He’s come a long way since then and is now an avid reader. Glad to share our special Passover memories.
Shabbat Shalom and Moadim L’Simcha – Rabbi Michael S. Jay
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